Reassurance Seeking - Is it Ok??

[CrazyCool]

I just bought a book called Treating Health Anxiety and in it - it says that reassurance seeking is not helpful to someone that has health anxiety. Which we all know - but interestingly it also said that sites like this just perpetuate reassurance seeking. I am not sure that I agree with that, but wondered what others have heard from their doctors or thearapists about this??

Thanks.

[Quirky]

My CBT therapist said that I should not seek reassurance for my health anxiety from my doctor, husband or anyone as she believes long term it makes it worse. The reassurance makes you feel better short term but then you need more sometimes so you ask over and over again. Of course it's sensible to go to a gp about any new symptoms and get them checked out once, or even twice etc if it doesn't clear up.
My CBT therapist is against me using this site and says it's not helping me. To some extent I have to agree as I have been thinking about anxiety alot more since being here and asking for more reasurrance.
Part of my treatment for health anxiety 2 years ago was to stop asking for reasurrance and it did help.
It's a difficult one really, this site is great for knowing you're not alone with things though and chatting to people who understand. I am trying to use the site now just to keep in touch with people I have made friends with and chat about day to day issues but ultimitely I really should follow her advice and leave, and I may do as I get stronger.
My therapist wasn't saying anything against this site in particular but that reading about anxiety alot and asking for reassurance alot isn't good in her opinion.
I don't know if that helps,
LJ

[desperate]

I do worry about the amount i seek reassurance sometimes from my mum.

First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!

[in1peace]

Hi CrazyCool!
I am disturbed that anyone would say a site like this is not helpful! If you have health anxiety, which I did/do, you can easily type in your symptoms into the forum search and come up with all kinds of people who have the same symptoms as you. When I started seeing a pattern with other people who have this disorder, it helped me get better! I am now not worrying about every little bump or blemish, running to the doctor for every little ache and pain!
A problem we anxious people have is not having anyone who understands our disorder to talk with. And then we withdraw into ourselves and get worse because we feel ashamed and alone. This site gives us a wealth of wonderful people who can share our burdens and encourage us towards our recovery goals. There are loads of people on this site who have helped me put things in perspective and seek treatments.
Any therapist who spouts off about this site clearly has NO IDEA what this site is all about. I would really encourage your therapist to actually take a genuine look around!!!!!
By the way, my psychologist recommended I look for a website like this, because we have no anxiety/panic support groups in our town. It seems people don't like to show up to support groups like those in case someone they know should find out about it. This is a very embarassing disorder and a lot of people are very ashamed they have it. Thankfully, sites like this allow you to be anonymous and/or make friends too!
I am grateful for No More Panic. This place has been a lifesaver and it helps me savour life!
Just my very opinionated thoughts!
Andrea

"Honey, if ya ain't feelin' the bumps in the road, ya ain't goin' nowhere!" (A wise Georgia Granny's take on living life to the fullest! LOL!)

[vernon]

Hi Crazy I do look for reassurance in health matters, but I do put up with symptoms for a while first. A person who writes a book is just usually another ex or sufferer and its only there opinion? Any one can write a book. A couple of years ago I had hell with my tummy and bowels and even the doctor seemed a bit concerned too as she sent me to se a specialist who sent me for quite a few tests including Chest X-rays, Blood Tests. Barium enema and a sygmoidoscopy. After all this the specialist called me back to see him and I had IBS. This made me feel so much better to know it wasn’t something more serious and if we never went to the doctors and it was something bad maybe we would have left it to late for anything to be done to treat the Illness. Just because we suffer from anxiety don’t mean that we can’t get physically Ill too? What if all these people who have been cured from cancer and things didn’t go to the doctor. There chances of successfully recovery would be reduced. Hope you feel better soon. And if the symptoms you have really worry you why not get them checked out? Take care. Vernon

[Quirky]

Good points Vernon.

I think the thing is sometimes it's right to check things out and my therapist agrees with that BUT when you have been told several times that you are ok, and maybe even seen a specialist too, and you still keep asking for reassurance, then it's not helpful or healthy.
LJ

[seh1980]

I think it's good to seek the reassurance of others. Where would we be without that? It is true that we need to start realising things ourselves after a while but I think it's also about reassuring ourselves..:D

"If life were simple, word would have got around"

[nomorepanic]

I still seek reassurance (mainly from Meg nowadays) as something comes along and it is a simple question to Meg and an answer and I carry on happy again.

When I get breathing problems I go to my partner and he says "yes you are breathing fine".

It helps me cos I don't sit on the internet searching for answers to questions that I know someone can easily answer.

I appreciate that some health anxiety forums will scare you to death cos they don't reassure but insist you see a specialist immediately and get the problem looked at this. This only fuels the problem more.

Just my thoughts anyway.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[Meg]

*it says that reassurance seeking is not helpful to someone that has health anxiety. Which we all know - but interestingly it also said that sites like this just perpetuate reassurance seeking*

There are a variety of ways to use a site such as this.

Most every guest book entry we get and our constant message is how wonderful it is to find people like ourselves so we are not the only ones. This is so true..

Then comes a period of relief, sharing and then comes the hard job of self teaching and self empowerment.

There are those who like to post once or twice about a set of symptoms and if they are somewhat reassurred by the responses, get relief and learn to then reassure themselves about those symptoms the next time they get them and also prove to themselves that if they do a or b the symptoms lessen and as they were ok last time and it's almost the same so they are going to be ok again , so do improve over time through this method.

There are those who are still very vulnerable to the power of suggestion and who will pick up on every scrap of advice whomever given to and adapt it to fit their picture somehow - we all do this a bit early on but we need to learn to be discerning and dismiss stuff and take it within the context it is given.

There are those who post and repost about similar symptoms and no amount of reassurance helps, either from us or even from medical care as the internal beliefs are not insync with believing that sensations and feelings can be so misleading and false and continued sucesses as in survival against 'all the odds' are a fluke which may be reversed next time.

Googling until a suitable result is found is common too. Pages where the symptoms are of no consequence are passed over but the search continues until the user finds something which matches the scale of their beliefs.

So for some the site can be very helpful but for others it is still better than google, but reassurance is not what is really needed but a re learning of the scale of probability, coupled with retaining and learning from previous personal experiences.

AS has been pointed out already, of course we do all get ill. The key is in recognising what needs immediate help, what needs help soon and what can have an eye kept on it..


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[christian]

If you are going to ask for reaasurance and if the person you're asking seems to care about you then it stand that you should be prepared to accept it if it is offered to. Otherwise, why bother?
Sometimes one opts to be worried about illness when one fears the risks and unpredictablity entailed in being well.
To be alive is to be vulnerable.
If that prospect is overwhelmingly disturbing then that is the very thing thsat must be confronted in thought and action.