Fear of driving

[Hamilton]

Hi..I'm new to this site and have called myself 'Hamilton' because I have had to make a joke of the phobia that I've run away from for over 20 years but am now determined to overcome one way or another. I never really wanted to drive until I was in my 30's, had children and realised that I could no longer depend upon lifts or public transport to get around. As a learner I was always very anxious behind the wheel but 5 driving instructors and countless lessons later I eventually passed my test. I didn't have the confidence to venture out on my own so took my husband with me for 'support'. However, it seemed that near disaster struck nearly everytime we ventured out with incidents of near misses with cyclists, pedestrians, cars or buses. The stress of it all on the whole family became so great that I took the easy option and gave up trying. I am now in my 50's and have decided that I have had enough of the limitations imposed on my life through not being a driver. A few weeks ago I bit the bullet, bought a car, got myself insured and got a friend to drive it home for me - and outside my house it now sits. I have no major problems with the technical side of ( it is automatic) but I am consumed by the same terror that I experienced 20 years ago - the terror that I am going to kill someone through my anxiety and inexperience. Every morning it is the first thing I think about when I wake up and it remains at the forefront of my thought throughout the day. Just planning a little drive to the local shops half a mile away on quiet roads causes me to shake; I still do it but it's not getting any easier and the fear and anxiety are not lessening. The thought of actually encountering a busy road with trafiic lights, roundabouts, cyclists etc seems unimaginable. I have never been the victim of a traffic accident so can't attribute my fears to that. I am quite an anxious person, lack self-confidence and do have a tendency to magnify problems. Can anyone please offer any advice. Thank you

[PanicOver!!]

Hi

Have you thought about having a few driving lessons again just to build up your confidence before venturing out on your own

[Veronica H]

:) I was thinking the same thing Marc. As knowing the driving instructor has duel controls should help. The impotant thing is not to let this phobia grow, but to tackle it head on (if you will pardon the pun). Anticipation is always worse than the event with anxiety so go for it....you can do it.

Veronica

[Hamilton]

Thanks for the suggestion. I did try the refresher lessons once before and the instructor assured me that she had a surprise strategy that was guaranteed to banish my fears. Unfortunately my 'surprise' turned out to be 2 hours driving on the busy M25 motorway in pouring rain and that's what finished me off -I think. However, not to be defeated I shall try again and will look for another instructor

[PanicOver!!]

Know what you mean with the M25
live near it myself and use it regurlarly some cure that was!!!

[Hamilton]

Throwing someone in at the deep end to overcome their fears should be restricted to SAS training only! I think it probably says a lot about the sensitivity and understanding of those who promote it as a solution. It can do a lot of harm!

[PanicOver!!]

I agree a softer approach would be better