Less Thinking - Less Stress - Less Anxiety

[mum2four]

I have been slowly noticing that I'm finding it so much easier to just get up and get on with thing. I'm no longer thinking about getting up to put a load of washing on so much. You wouldn't think some one could over think somthing as simple a putting a load of washing on but gee wiz I'm starting to realies how much my thinking was holding me back or stressing me out. Dont get me wrong I was doing the washing but because I was so over thinking it was not funny it seem like a real effort and real inconveniate thing to be doing. I would get in to whole argument with my self about how if society didn't have so many expectation I would feel less stresses and more able to focus and just do what I new had to be done. I sitting here thinking how silly thats sounds right now but it wasn't that long ago that it was seriously bad subject to raise with me. A simple coment like "where my work shirt" would make me feel like the worse person in the world cause I forgot to do what I thought so long and hard about doing. It just feel so much less stressfull to think about what is waiting for me in my laudry. Thats just one example I have pleanty of others but I just thought I'd give you an example.

I keep asking my partner if he's noticed a change in me because it feels so much calmer in side my head but I'm not really sure if its the change is visable from other people perspective. He said to me this morning that he has seen a change but he's not sure how good the change realy is cause I'm still crazy(he was smiling at me) and I was acting crazy i was talking real fast and bobing up and down (hyper) and said to him with the biggest smile on my face " Yeah I'm crazy but I'm good crazy happy crazy and I like that"

I am worried that I my happiness will be seen as anoying and people will still not like me or I'll be too full on for people to put up with me.

[3faces]

Hi there:D

I think its great that your feeling more positive and its a healthy sign that your realising that some of the issues inside your head that caused you anxiety, are not as important as you once thought. I'm sure your husband has noticed changes but the most important thing is that you are noticing the positive changes. That can only be good and please don't feel your happiness might be seen as annoying. I see so many miserable people everyday and I would much rather see someone smiling!!:D

Jem xxx

[desperate]

Everything is so much harder when it is accompanied but 5000 thoughts!!

Godd happy crazy sounds fine to me though!!

First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!

[flightfund]

Happy Crazy sounds good to me too!!! Don't forget your husband fell for happy crazy and I bet he loves to see you smiling!! Great that you are feeling better...have fun, Vxx

[mum2four]

Thank you for your message's.

I like being happy crazy it who I am inside but eva since I was little happy crazy was not NORMAL or acepted and it's still hard to be accepted as happy crazy. Your right my partner fell in love with happy crazy and still love's seeing me when I'm happy crazy and my kids enjoy me when I'm happy crazy as well. I'm feeling a bit better about going with the flow about feeling happy crazy.:D

I today i noticed I'm finding it much easier to talk and gee i can talk but it feels good to talk and not br afriad of every word that come's out of my mouth. If the people around me cany handle me for me that thay'll have to get use to me or avoid me cause I'm not going to let them push me back inside my self again. I had only one moment in my day that i felt like I'd didn't belong and felt like I needed to get but I stayed and the people with me noticed that i was not my self and made me feel better about being there. It feels good not being ignored because I'm quiet. Feels even better not being made feel like i'm being rude or unsocailable ect. I even told some of the people at the creche out loud that I suffer from anxiety that's why i think I was having doubt's about fitting in to the group after that but we were also in a very public place that was far from my comfort zone. I started to get the tunnel vision happing was trying to think of who to talk to and what to say I was waiting for the perfect moment that seemed like it was never gona happen. I snapped out of it a start to really get into what thay were doing. My baby help a bit when he got hyper on me and decide to try to keep running out the room.

Even thoe I had a fue bad moment's it was a very good day indeed. It's been awhile since I felt I had some thing worth while to say. It been even longer since i felt i was important enough for people to listened to.