feeling really scared today

[LisaLisa]

Hello

I just need to hear from someone today because im so worried again today and getting little panic surges again.

I obsess over having hiv although i have had five tests and they have all been negative. My reason for worrying is that i read a medical journal on the internet about people with hiv getting cycsts in their salivary glands and them making the glands in their necks swell. Well when my HA started i checked all over my body for lumps and things and one of the things i found was a cycst in my salivary gland and a gland swollen under my chin and several tiny ones down sides of my neck. I got so scared that i went for a test and it was negative and i didnt believ it so in total i have been and had five - one of them was when i had my baby last year. I found the cyst thing and glands in 2007 and it still feels axactly the same but the journal said this could happen too. I told my dr about it and he gave me antibiotic but it didnt go and next time i went he said he could hardy feel it and never mnentioned it again.

So becuase my anxiety got so bad after my daughter was born I went to another dr and told her my worries and she felt it and said she was more concerned about my anxiety and that with five negative tests it certainly wasnt a presentation of hiv. I went back again and told her i was worried about it still and she said if she had been he would have sent me to a tumour clinic straight away. I got reffered for cbt by her for my anxiety although not specifically realting to my health but when i got my asswessment there they diagnosed me with GAD and HA and i am seeing a therapist there regularly.


Well today i am totally fixated on my glands and the cyst and am totally convinced that i have hiv and I feel like i hate myself and i am almost rotting away....im so scared can anyone help me please

Lisa
xxxxx

[anxious elephant999]

Hi lisa is someone there with you to reassure you , i know im a fine one to talk but i think you will be ok , has this anxiety stopped you doing anything or are you still living a relatively normal life :hugs:

[meg86]

I hate anxiety, the thing to remember is that anxiety makes you believe your fears no matter how crazy they are, i am having this problem at the moment i have a irrational fear and i am a shaking crying wreck because my anxiety is making me believe it is true its horrible :(

No matter how powerful these fear appears to be you need to remember the only problem you have is anxiety.

If you thought about it logically there is no way you have HIV 5 negative tests 5!!!

I also have a large gland under my jaw and a few pea sized ones in my neck, they used to make me scared but as my mind is currently occupied with other fears i can see the light and the logic and the fear has gone.

I know its sooo hard i feel the same as you just about a different fear big hug :) xxx

[xfilme]

I understand what yer going through as I was there myself in January... truth is, you have a greater chance of winning the lottery without even purchasing a ticket.

[LisaLisa]

Meg.......Where in your neck are the pea sized ones? and do you mean like garden peas or processed peas...sorry...!!!

Xfilme thanks luv.......your reassurance helps a lot....are you better now?

Anxiouselephant i posted on your thread about my functioning, its much better than it was. I was absolutely crippled with anxiety for a few months in 2007 and again afer my beby was born last November until about may when things started to improve.

Lisaxxxx

[rebeccad]

hi Lisa i also have got 2 small cysts in my neck, i can actually move them around with my finger, (sorry if that sounds horrible lol) if the doc thinks they are fine then they are, if they had any doubts at all you would have been refered, cant believe im saying this but trust your doc, because you really are ok xxxx

[tashbarnes87]

Hi Lisa thanks so much for all you help. I have lots of cysts big & small. You definitely do not have HIV!!! if it was purely based on cysts we would all have it :) You really are ok!!!

xxx

[meg86]

Hey lisa posted on your gland thread to! i have 2 on the right sized of my neck between my ear and shoulder one pea sized one smaller, i have one on the left side of my neck, i also have 2 either side of my neck at the bottom at the front, i panicked greatly about these but turns out most people can feel them even my mum can.

Pea sized glands are pretty normal and of they havnt increased in size then you definately dont have anything to worry about, a blood test would have brought this up to :)

And my boyfriend has them and my sister thats everyone that i am close enough to that will let me prod them lol x

[LisaLisa]

thanks everyone for your help.

Tash , where are your cysts?

Lisa
xx