catch 22

[sam23]

The more i fight it the worse it gets, tremors, sweating, heart racing, jumbled thoughts, same old same old.

Yet when i somehow manage to control it it jumps up at me outta nowhere giving me no choice but to fight and make things worse once again.

A vicious circle i just wish i could tire of, just to get some peace but when i sleep i wake to the same toll. Over and over again.

If i try and look for answers i go over the past which may kill it for a while but only to be replaced by a gloomy cloud of depression.

The depression can only be slaughtered by pain, physical pain which causes the anxiety to reign (rain?) over me again.

[PanicOver!!]

Hi Sam

Have you tried not to fight it but just accept it (hard i know)
but You will find if you can do this it does decrease the events and the severity of the atacks

best wishes

[sam23]

Hi Marc,

Acceptance takes strength, something which im lacking at the moment!! But i understand your theory :)

[gtrgrl3369]

Hi Sam, this made sound rude but I dont mean it that way....You said the acceptance takes strenght, something you dont have right now...You have more than you think you do, do you know how much strenght it takes to have your anxiety and panic in the first place? It takes a lot to get through everyday with this, my husband used to tell me I was the strongest person hes ever met because I dealt with this daily sometimes all day. Dont ever think you have no strenght to fight, you have more than you think you do. It just takes a different mind set not to fear it anymore and when your ready to do that you will know. Take care.

[sam23]

Wow gtrgrl, i never thought of it that way, so i plucked up the courage after reading your post and decided to take a trip to the garage to get some fuel as im surposed to go to work tonite ( first time after a month stuck inside!!).

Invetabley I freaked out and came home and cryed my eyes out, but thats the first time I've been out in a while!! I feel weak as before but in away there is some strength in that. And although the sayings cliched "one step at a time" :)