Tovah
19-09-09, 20:27
I have Burns' Feeling Good and When Panic Attacks. Both books are meant to be used for people working with CBT with or without a therapist. I've run out of payments this year for therapy, so I'd like to keep working on the books without a therapist, though I must add that for about 3 months I worked on the books WITH a therapist and still didn't get anywhere.
The problem I have with the CBT is that it seems to amount to little more than denial or positive thinking. I know that's not correct, but it seems that way to me. The things that have got me anxious are not trivialities (for one, I work in a field that is going down the tubes and am really worried about losing my job. In one chapter, Burns talks about a lawyer who lost his job and wound up driving a truck and was just as happy because "your work is not your worth." That's lovely, but I need my salary in order for us to be able to stay in our home. I'd clean hotel rooms if it kept me in my mortgage - it has nothing to do with self-esteem. So the entire chapter kind of p****d me off.)
It seems CBT works with small trivial things, like "My friend looked at me funny, maybe she's mad at me" only to find out she's got menstrual cramps that day, and not with major things, like my spouse has a disabilitating illness and might not be able to work, or they laid off another 50 people at my workplace and lowered our salaries. I can think happy thoughts all day about our finances and my spouse's health but that would just be denial. So the answers to the "cognitive distortions" seem like lies to me.
I know I've got this wrong, because CBT has helped millions and millions of people, but I've got 5 notebooks full of written exercises and I'm as anxious as ever. I'll start out at 100% anxious and wind up at 80% anxious. An hour later I'm back up to 100%.
I KNOW a therapy won't take away my problems. I just want to be in a better frame of mind with them, so that if and when I do get laid off or my spouse does get too sick to work or we do have a major expense we can't pay, I don't get suicidally depressed (which I have before). How can I use CBT to get into a better frame of mind when it just seems like denial and happy-talk? Please help.:emot-questioned:
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The problem I have with the CBT is that it seems to amount to little more than denial or positive thinking. I know that's not correct, but it seems that way to me. The things that have got me anxious are not trivialities (for one, I work in a field that is going down the tubes and am really worried about losing my job. In one chapter, Burns talks about a lawyer who lost his job and wound up driving a truck and was just as happy because "your work is not your worth." That's lovely, but I need my salary in order for us to be able to stay in our home. I'd clean hotel rooms if it kept me in my mortgage - it has nothing to do with self-esteem. So the entire chapter kind of p****d me off.)
It seems CBT works with small trivial things, like "My friend looked at me funny, maybe she's mad at me" only to find out she's got menstrual cramps that day, and not with major things, like my spouse has a disabilitating illness and might not be able to work, or they laid off another 50 people at my workplace and lowered our salaries. I can think happy thoughts all day about our finances and my spouse's health but that would just be denial. So the answers to the "cognitive distortions" seem like lies to me.
I know I've got this wrong, because CBT has helped millions and millions of people, but I've got 5 notebooks full of written exercises and I'm as anxious as ever. I'll start out at 100% anxious and wind up at 80% anxious. An hour later I'm back up to 100%.
I KNOW a therapy won't take away my problems. I just want to be in a better frame of mind with them, so that if and when I do get laid off or my spouse does get too sick to work or we do have a major expense we can't pay, I don't get suicidally depressed (which I have before). How can I use CBT to get into a better frame of mind when it just seems like denial and happy-talk? Please help.:emot-questioned:
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