CarlWalker15
19-09-09, 21:26
Hi everyone :).
My name is Carl and i'm new to the forum. I have a bit of a long story about what brought me to posting this, but i'll try and be as detailed as possible. 10 days ago I randomly came down with a stomach bug that lasted for around 5 or 6 days. I had all the classic symptoms like the runs and vomiting, waking up in the night sweating and lack of appetite, etc. However, since losing the bug it seems that i've became a sufferer of anxiety.
Before the illness I (like everyone else) had the odd thought of things like "where's my life heading?" and fear of death, etc. But since having it, I worried about everything. If my stomach hurt I thought it could be an ulcer, if I got a headache it could be a tumor, my heart beats fast it means i'm going to have an attack. I've also started worrying about pains in my chest and abdomen. No matter how many people or websites tell me they're normal I check for lumps and bumps at every opportunity and a slightly swollen rib or a tense chest muscle has became a constant fear of impending death. For the first time the other day -in the middle of a car park no less- I wept in front of my girlfriend because I was scared of what I was becoming. She's the only one that has any interest in my problems and she's always there for me. My mum shakes my worries off in a light-hearted fashion and doesn't seem to take me seriously. I understand why though, it's not through a lack of love or anything, it's just because it's only really started in the last couple of weeks. I always used to have strange dreams, but they weren't every night, nor were they relevent to anything. The ones i've been having lately are usually something i've came into contact with that day, a game i've played, a person i've seen or read about, a place i've been, and they seem not "realistic" in a sense, but more real (if that makes sense). I have a constant pressure in the front and side of my head, and looking at the computer screen or tv hurts my eyes and makes my head ache after a while now. I also squint more often outside, even when it's not that bright. I havn't got my appetite back yet, eating usually 2 slices of toast and jam in the morning, and a small meal such as a pasta pot or sandwich during the day or night, though today I did manage chicken dippers and waffles at my friend's house. I drink water throughout the day but my mouth is still dry and I still feel knackered constantly throughout the day. The main time is usually just after I wake up, I'll get up between 4-6am, have a drink and clear my throat, go back to bed and wake up between 8-9 without fail, even if I go to bed at something ridiculous like 2am the night before. I'll wake up in the morning and still be shattered, no matter how much sleep i've even had. I've stopped going back to sleep now though as I assumed it wouldn't be healthy for me, same with napping throughout the day.
The main thing that worries me though, is a fear of getting older, doing nothing with my life and dying. I know that all the things like marraige, children, and life experiences are to come, but then it all wraps up to "but then i'll die and it'll have all been a waste of time" I worry every day i'm one day closer to dying and the sense of helplessness about it panics me. My head aches all day from thinking things like this, and no matter what I do I can't shake them. I've been going out shopping with my girlfriend all day, watching dvds in bed with her for ages, going round my friend's house and playing videogames and hanging out and stuff. I've even started sitting downstairs with my parents instead of sitting alone, and though in a good number of cases it'll take my mind off it, the thoughts flood back when i'm alone.
I feel that i've went on for ages now though, and most of you will be bored so i'll just round up my symptoms;
Fear of growing old/dying
head tenseness/ache
sometimes blurred vision
no appetite
minimal sex drive
lack of energy
always tired
muscles aches and pains
constantly checking for lumps and bumps, often making a particular part of me quite tender from rubbing and prodding thus making my fears worseI'm sure there's more i've already wrote but missed off the list, or that I just can't think of and if so i'll edit them back in later. The main point though is that I was curious if anyone else my age (or around there) suffers from this?. I havn't been officially diagnosed with it but I think you'd all agree from the information that it is anxiety. Also, even if you're not my age please feel free to add to this with experiences, if what I have is normal, how to help and what you have done to get over it.
Thank you for reading :)
My name is Carl and i'm new to the forum. I have a bit of a long story about what brought me to posting this, but i'll try and be as detailed as possible. 10 days ago I randomly came down with a stomach bug that lasted for around 5 or 6 days. I had all the classic symptoms like the runs and vomiting, waking up in the night sweating and lack of appetite, etc. However, since losing the bug it seems that i've became a sufferer of anxiety.
Before the illness I (like everyone else) had the odd thought of things like "where's my life heading?" and fear of death, etc. But since having it, I worried about everything. If my stomach hurt I thought it could be an ulcer, if I got a headache it could be a tumor, my heart beats fast it means i'm going to have an attack. I've also started worrying about pains in my chest and abdomen. No matter how many people or websites tell me they're normal I check for lumps and bumps at every opportunity and a slightly swollen rib or a tense chest muscle has became a constant fear of impending death. For the first time the other day -in the middle of a car park no less- I wept in front of my girlfriend because I was scared of what I was becoming. She's the only one that has any interest in my problems and she's always there for me. My mum shakes my worries off in a light-hearted fashion and doesn't seem to take me seriously. I understand why though, it's not through a lack of love or anything, it's just because it's only really started in the last couple of weeks. I always used to have strange dreams, but they weren't every night, nor were they relevent to anything. The ones i've been having lately are usually something i've came into contact with that day, a game i've played, a person i've seen or read about, a place i've been, and they seem not "realistic" in a sense, but more real (if that makes sense). I have a constant pressure in the front and side of my head, and looking at the computer screen or tv hurts my eyes and makes my head ache after a while now. I also squint more often outside, even when it's not that bright. I havn't got my appetite back yet, eating usually 2 slices of toast and jam in the morning, and a small meal such as a pasta pot or sandwich during the day or night, though today I did manage chicken dippers and waffles at my friend's house. I drink water throughout the day but my mouth is still dry and I still feel knackered constantly throughout the day. The main time is usually just after I wake up, I'll get up between 4-6am, have a drink and clear my throat, go back to bed and wake up between 8-9 without fail, even if I go to bed at something ridiculous like 2am the night before. I'll wake up in the morning and still be shattered, no matter how much sleep i've even had. I've stopped going back to sleep now though as I assumed it wouldn't be healthy for me, same with napping throughout the day.
The main thing that worries me though, is a fear of getting older, doing nothing with my life and dying. I know that all the things like marraige, children, and life experiences are to come, but then it all wraps up to "but then i'll die and it'll have all been a waste of time" I worry every day i'm one day closer to dying and the sense of helplessness about it panics me. My head aches all day from thinking things like this, and no matter what I do I can't shake them. I've been going out shopping with my girlfriend all day, watching dvds in bed with her for ages, going round my friend's house and playing videogames and hanging out and stuff. I've even started sitting downstairs with my parents instead of sitting alone, and though in a good number of cases it'll take my mind off it, the thoughts flood back when i'm alone.
I feel that i've went on for ages now though, and most of you will be bored so i'll just round up my symptoms;
Fear of growing old/dying
head tenseness/ache
sometimes blurred vision
no appetite
minimal sex drive
lack of energy
always tired
muscles aches and pains
constantly checking for lumps and bumps, often making a particular part of me quite tender from rubbing and prodding thus making my fears worseI'm sure there's more i've already wrote but missed off the list, or that I just can't think of and if so i'll edit them back in later. The main point though is that I was curious if anyone else my age (or around there) suffers from this?. I havn't been officially diagnosed with it but I think you'd all agree from the information that it is anxiety. Also, even if you're not my age please feel free to add to this with experiences, if what I have is normal, how to help and what you have done to get over it.
Thank you for reading :)