Partners How Do Yours Cope??

[Steph]

I woud be interested to hear how do partners cope living with someone who suffers from PA's???

I have just moved in with my partner (we have been together a year) and I have only just started having PA's (only had 2 so far!) But of course when I have them my parter is involved... And afterwards I feel like such a fool as he is so concerened when it happens but when I say oh it's a PA afterwards he seems to go very quiet - He's not one for understanding problems not coz he don't want to but I don't think he knows what to say, and as we know men like to solve problems but this one he can't...
So I feel that I can't really talk to him about it!!
Any suggestions welcome????
Thans [V]



SD

[smudga]

Howdy Steph! Only people who experience panic attacks can know what they feel. When I tell my family about a panic attack they are all ears and try to say encouraging things etc.. but they and I realise that they don't or can't know what I'm feeling. All you can expect partners to do is be encouraging.

[Steph]

Yeah I understand that but I don't seem to be getting much encouragement from him, he just shuts up and says nothing - so therefor it makes me feel like im weird if you know what I mean?

SD

[nomorepanic]

My partner is wonderful Steph but I have had ones that left me cos of the panic - saying they can't cope. My partner sits with me and talks to me calmly and gets me to breathe deeply. He literally says "come on now breathe in slowly ..." etc etc.

He has never had an attack but he sees what I go through and how scared I am so he tries to help - and he does.

My family don't understand so much and think I just breathe heavily for a while - little do they know.

Ask him to try and calm you down and talk to you and get you to breathe deeply and calmly. Just tell him to hold you hand and cuddle you - that would help as well.

I do hope you can get his help cos I would have gone insane without my partners help and support.

Good luck

Nicola

[Shelley]

Hi Steph

Your partners sounds a little bit like mine he's lovely and all that but he hasnt got a clue and as we avoide places (motorways)that make me panick he doesnt see me have them, if I have one on the train or tram I dont tend to ring him, I ring a friend as they generally know that I just need to be distracted for a few minutes until I calm down. I'm sure that if (and thats a big if) they persist he'll be more aware of whats going on, at the moment he's probably a little bit confused as to why this is happening.

x Shell

Shell

[Jo]

Hi Steph/Smudga/Nic.

When I was going through a bad episode with my panic my partner (Anthony) was almost nearly there. He would hold my hand, help me control my breathing, and imporantly reasured me by telling me everything was going to be fine. I agree, that unless you have personally experienced a panic attack, then you don't quite understand. However, my boyfriend was great, he was calm and collected.

I would suggest asking him to have a look at this web-site or additional literature, which explains about anxiety/panic related problems. It may put things into context for him. He may be worried he will say the wrong thing - have a chat, be open with him, he may surprise you.

Take care Steph

Jo xx

[Steph]

Thanks
I am off to the Doctors this afternoon, and later on tonight I will sit down with my partner and explain to him what he should do if I have another PA..
Thanks for the advice everyone I will let you know the outcome....
Stephx

SD