Im going further down the rabbit hole and there's no way back

[luke1982]

I'm not doing great
I feel like I'm dead
Not thinking straight
Inside my body, troubled, full of hate
I had to let it out before it's too late

Why won't it fade
Outside I had to lie; "I'm ok",
I hope someday, I'll stop getting pain
I guess this is a lie, I have made

Deep Inside, It can hide!
Feeling so lost and betrayed
why does this happen to me everytime
Stuck in this place, where I can't escape
Screaming and clawing from deep inside

What am I doing?
I can't believe this
I have been hiding
Wanting to be less
Giving to people,
They take from me
Always they bringing drama to me

Feeling so lost and betrayed
why does this happen to me everytime
Stuck in this place, where I can't escape
Screaming and clawing from deep inside

I can't stand all this f**king Pain


It all started last christmas when i tried to put a drill into my head.
Visions and voices getting too much and I fear they will return.
Does anyone understand how painful it ca be to be branded as crazy and insane when I just want to move on :weep:


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[amandaj]

you are not crazy or insane you have an illness like we all do on here , try to stay positive i konw its hard and im a fine one to talk but we will get there hang on in there xxx

[sue.b]

Hi luke

So sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment, you are not crazy, you are not insane but i know how troubling these thoughts and the uncertainty can be.

I think lots of people on this web site have had these thoughts from time to time, I certainly have, and thinking this way tends to make you feel asthough you are different to "normall" people. But we are not, we are just suffering from an illness, just as some people suffer diabetes, or heart trouble.

Please don't give up on yourself. As hard as it is try to take care of yourself, appreciate yourself, be kind to yourself. What you are going through is soooo unpleasant but there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

Thinking of you

Take care

:bighug:

Sue xx