Feeling guilty about my wedding

[Hope1]

Hello
I got married in August 2009, our wedding day passed so quickly, especially the evening reception and I feel guilty that I didn't get round to speak to all of our guests. Me and my new hubbie greeted everyone as they arrived, but the night seemed to just go and before I knew it people were coming to me to say that they were leaving as it was midnight, I couldn't believe the time! I'm feeling so anxious hoping that people don’t think bad of me, my hubbie says that I shouldn't worry about it, but I'm an anxious person anyway so these feelings of guilt keep coming into my mind, when really I should just be enjoying being married.
I have suffered terrible anxiety for 5 years, usually health anxiety, that is still bubbling away inside of me, but at the moment I'm obsessed with thinking about my wedding day and its driving me mad. I get so over-whelmed with it I feel like I can't cope its taken over my thoughts for nearly a month now.
I did some CBT earlier this year but i don't think it helped me much, and I've been on citalopram and betablockers. Its just one thing after another where worrying is concerned with me.
Thanks for reading,
Love Jane xx

[bellabessnjet]

Hi Jane,
From wht I remember of my day exactly the same. I got into a lot of trouble because my Mums side of the family didnt get on a 'Family; picture, but no-one told me until after my honeymoon. I spent most of evening in the loo with my bridesmaid cause her fella arrived with another women! Trust me nobody would have noticed, everyone enjoyed our wedding (except me) said it was one of the best they'd been to! The other thing to remember is that organising a wedding is sooo stressfull so you were probably a little worked up before the actual day. Just try to remember a wedding is the start of a new life for you and your new hubby, Enjoy it and I dont think weddings are for the bride and grooma nyway there for everyone else to enjoy! (Wish I knew that before I got Wed lol)

[june]

:hugs: Hi everyone came to yoru wedding to SEE you :yesyes: To watch YOU enjoy YOUR day:hugs:
They will have seen that you were enjoying your self:yesyes: that was all they needed.:yesyes:
Did you send "thank you for coming to my wedding"" notes / cards / etc???
That covers you completely.

Try not to give it any more thought - apart from your happiness:yesyes: :yesyes:
Best wishes
June

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Jane,

Same thing happened to me and I would imagine most brides. You are having to pose for photos with the wedding party, cut the cake, throw the garter (this is all done in our country anways) and then if you have a sit down dinner and dancing it really is impossible to actually sit and talk to everyone. Most people realize this and accept it. You did greet everyone when they came in the door and truly that is all that is expected. If you still feel guilty, when you write your thank you notes express your gratitude that they attended and how much you appreciated it. Please don't feel guilty this is most common. By the way, congratulations.

Take care,

Laura

[Hope1]

Thanks everyone
I appreciate your replies. I was worked up before the wedding day thinking that my health anxiety would take over the day, its all I thought about for a month before. Now its all over the health anxiety has eased but only because all my thoughts are taken up by thinking about what people thought of me on the day! It's one thing after another! I don't ever seem to have a day when I just don't worry about anything. Maybe one day :)
thank you again
Jane xxx

[Hope1]

Hello again, I am in the process of sending out thank you cards to all of our guests.
If I wasn't worrying about this then it would be something else, I need to break the cycle and not dwell on things as much as I do. But its so hard as I'm sure you can all relate to!
Love Jane x

[Kabuki]

Hi Jane, I just got married in May and I can relate to all the stress and anxiety. I actually am going through a major stage of guilt and sadness because I was so worried about a panic attack on the day of the wedding that I started meds shortly before and was feeling completely drugged the whole day. It felt like I wasn't even there and I can barely remember it. My problem is that aside from the anxiety, my feet were killing me, so I really didn't greet most of the people or talk to them or thank them and it is possible that someone may have been offended. I don't care and I don't think you should either. The people who came to your wedding came because they are loved ones of yourself or your husband. They should be supportive and understanding, not judging. Besides, if they are married they understand how tired and stressed you are on the day and so they should cut you some slack. Anyone who goes to someone else's special day and thinks that they are the important person who gets attention has got it all wrong.

[Hope1]

Kabuki
I have had the same feelings I was so worked up before the wedding day and some parts of the day I feel like it wasn’t even me there. I was put on meds to a couple of months before, I am still on them. Thank you for your supportive and kind words, it does help to re-assure me. Maybe I will stop searching google now for ‘feeling guilty about not speaking to my wedding guests’. I have literally driven myself crazy with this for a month.
I completely understand your guilt and sadness, I am experiencing the same feelings.
We have to try and be positive and the wedding day was only the start of a happy future with our new husbands.
Thank you
Jane x

[Kabuki]

It's great to hear that positive note in your tone. Don't let the obsessive thoughts control you anymore. Anyhow, what's past is past. Now you have a future to build with your husband (as do I) and that's the only thing to be focusing on!:yesyes:

[Hope1]

Thanks Kabuki!
I'm feeling a bit better already, it really does help me to discuss things with people with similar problems, so thank you so much. :yesyes:
Jane x

[Kabuki]

It helps me a lot too to thanks to you as well

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

You sound like a lovely woman - and far too harsh on yourself!

My boyfriend and I attended his sister's wedding a while back. Although he gets on well with his sister (as do I), was one of the witnesses etc, we only spoke to her for about 10 minutes in the whole 8+ hours we were there. People really do understand that a wedding day is hectic.

[Hope1]

Hi there thank you for your lovely comment. You have all been so kind and helpful. xx