tygwyn
27-10-05, 11:47
Well I'm actually feeling a bit low this morning so wanted to post something here today to remind myself how far I have come!
I have been suffering from anxiety (that I've known of) for 2 months now (not long I know but long enough!). The first month was up and down - generally churning tummy constantly, headache, tremors and agititaion. I have found that hormones play quite a big part in my moods (as they do for most of us) and can see a pattern starting to appear.
Initially panic as such wasn't really a big issue for me - it was the constant anxiety that really got to me. I have been reading Claire Weekes daily and have been trying as best I can to 'accept' - this comes easier some days than others and typically around that 'time of the month' it is harder. As I have been accepting more and more the constant anxiety symptoms seem to be diminishing, leaving me with mainly fear flashes. I can't really call it panic as I am able to quell (sp?) it before it reaches panic thankfully.
As I have just finished 'the time of the month' I have had a pretty bad week (but not compared to how I was a month ago!). As the flashes come fewer and farther between they do seem to shock more and seem to effect me more than when they were constant (does that make sense??). I'm not frightened of them as such - they just p*** me off!!
Anyway - the reason this is in the 'success stories' section is because I do believe I am recovering (albeit slowly!).
I am now about to compare myself to exactly four weeks ago today!
I woke up 4 weeks ago today after having next to no sleep at all. I was anxious all night and in what I considered to be 'setback'. I was so so down about the state I had been in for that week (time of the month) and felt so lethargic and weak. My husband had to take my daughter to school because I was so exhausted and also because I was frightened of the fear flash that I had had there the day before! I then spent that morning crying (a lot!) and believing that I was worse than I was when it all started. The following day I decided I had to do something about it - exercise was the key!
So during the last 4 weeks I have been to keep fit, cycling, shopping with my friend, driven to my mums an hour away to help her move furniture been out for a meal and stayed the night in a hotel!
So here I am 4 weeks later. I have been a bit down. I do dwell on 'flashes' but I am now not crying all the time (although I do sometimes still feel like it). I do not have constant anxiety symptoms(although they do come and go). I do still think inwardly constantly although this is getting better. As I felt low this morning I decided not to give in to the despair so I got up, got in the car with my daughter, and went 'practicing'! (not testing!! LOL). I went back to the places where yesterday I had felt a bit off! I went to Tesco, I went to Asda all the time making sure that I wasn't rushing in and out - taking my time - breathing slowly when I needed to and trying losts of positive thinking! I also treated myself to a new jacket and a new CD!
When I do have these fear flashes I am now able to recognise that they are linked directly to my thinking.
God this has turned into a right essay hasn't it! Sorry but you know how it is - we really do need to recognise our progress when at times we feel as though we haven't moved forward at all.
Good luck everyone - as I've said before it will be a bumpy ride but our final reward will be RECOVERY!
Take care all and sorry if I have sent you to sleep!
Rach xxxx
"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)
I have been suffering from anxiety (that I've known of) for 2 months now (not long I know but long enough!). The first month was up and down - generally churning tummy constantly, headache, tremors and agititaion. I have found that hormones play quite a big part in my moods (as they do for most of us) and can see a pattern starting to appear.
Initially panic as such wasn't really a big issue for me - it was the constant anxiety that really got to me. I have been reading Claire Weekes daily and have been trying as best I can to 'accept' - this comes easier some days than others and typically around that 'time of the month' it is harder. As I have been accepting more and more the constant anxiety symptoms seem to be diminishing, leaving me with mainly fear flashes. I can't really call it panic as I am able to quell (sp?) it before it reaches panic thankfully.
As I have just finished 'the time of the month' I have had a pretty bad week (but not compared to how I was a month ago!). As the flashes come fewer and farther between they do seem to shock more and seem to effect me more than when they were constant (does that make sense??). I'm not frightened of them as such - they just p*** me off!!
Anyway - the reason this is in the 'success stories' section is because I do believe I am recovering (albeit slowly!).
I am now about to compare myself to exactly four weeks ago today!
I woke up 4 weeks ago today after having next to no sleep at all. I was anxious all night and in what I considered to be 'setback'. I was so so down about the state I had been in for that week (time of the month) and felt so lethargic and weak. My husband had to take my daughter to school because I was so exhausted and also because I was frightened of the fear flash that I had had there the day before! I then spent that morning crying (a lot!) and believing that I was worse than I was when it all started. The following day I decided I had to do something about it - exercise was the key!
So during the last 4 weeks I have been to keep fit, cycling, shopping with my friend, driven to my mums an hour away to help her move furniture been out for a meal and stayed the night in a hotel!
So here I am 4 weeks later. I have been a bit down. I do dwell on 'flashes' but I am now not crying all the time (although I do sometimes still feel like it). I do not have constant anxiety symptoms(although they do come and go). I do still think inwardly constantly although this is getting better. As I felt low this morning I decided not to give in to the despair so I got up, got in the car with my daughter, and went 'practicing'! (not testing!! LOL). I went back to the places where yesterday I had felt a bit off! I went to Tesco, I went to Asda all the time making sure that I wasn't rushing in and out - taking my time - breathing slowly when I needed to and trying losts of positive thinking! I also treated myself to a new jacket and a new CD!
When I do have these fear flashes I am now able to recognise that they are linked directly to my thinking.
God this has turned into a right essay hasn't it! Sorry but you know how it is - we really do need to recognise our progress when at times we feel as though we haven't moved forward at all.
Good luck everyone - as I've said before it will be a bumpy ride but our final reward will be RECOVERY!
Take care all and sorry if I have sent you to sleep!
Rach xxxx
"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)