What underlies irrational bitterness?

[AndrewJ]

Has anyone been through months when they are permenantly and pointlessly bitter? It's very socially limiting and stops me relaxing for any length of time. Is bitterness typically a symptom of depression? Anxiety? Paranoia? Low self-esteem? If anyone else has felt this I would be grateful to hear how you understand bitterness as a mental health issue.

My current strategy is to nip the bitterness in the bud by not interacting with it. I just think "I've been hurt, I'll be hurt again so there's no point trying to resolve the past, I've learnt all I can anyway". I know this sounds defeatist but it at least allows me to focus on other things and other people. However, I'm not dealing with the source of the problem as I am having to "talk myself calm" every hour of the day.

[den68]

negativity and bitterness oh yes i know it well. I actually thought i had beaten it and had forgiven people for the things they do to me but i manage this for a while and think oh well ill get over it but then people seem to think they can get away with what ever they want and now im back to feeling bitter and hurt

[sandy35]

Yes I can be horribly bitter if I fall out with friends or argue with other people. I just wish I would stop thinking about it all the time and getting worked up about it though.

[Maj]

When I suffered from depression I felt very bitter due to personal circumstances at that time. I can still remember how I felt and looking back I was like a different person. Thank goodness it was only temporary and I got help. Depression comes in many forms. It's not just all about lying in bed staring at the ceiling as some people seem to think!

Regards
Myra:)

[AndrewJ]

You think bitterness is an expression of depression, Myra? I only posted about bitterness in this specific forum as it had been suggested to me by a moderator.

Do any of you experience a sense of unexplained bitterness? I suspect my triggers might be stress, loneliness or passive-aggression (maybe introverted perfectionism) but I've not discovered what mental condition generates habitual bitterness - depression or anxiety or personality disorder or...

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Andrew,

This is only my opinion mind you but I have always thought that depression was anger turned inwards due to circumstances, genetics or an inbalance of serotonin. Saying that, I view unexplained bitterness as a type of anger too. Actually, the two may go hand in hand. From my experience anxiety is constantly focusing on the "what if's" of life nothing to do with bitterness or anger. I do agree with you regarding the triggers and believe you might find some assistance if you spoke with a professional such as a psychologist. It helped me immensely with my anxiety issues. Please also know that anxiety and depression can sometimes overlap too. I hope you feel better soon and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Laura

[JohnLuke300]

Hi Andrew,

Anxiety and depression are emotional responses as is bitterness. Depression can create bitterness as can the lack of assertiveness common amongst anxiety sufferers (i.e passive-aggression). Trying to nip the negative thinking in the bud is one of the methods to counter it. Also using CBT style thought records would be beneficial. The fact you can find no rational reason for the bitterness does not mean it is not rational. The mind is a complex tool with many variables. But it is possible to work out the mechanisms that are causing you bitterness over time.

Hope that helps

John

[JohnLuke300]

I concur with Laura and would just like to add that there are five main negative emotional disorders. These are anxiety, depression, anger, grief and shame. They all have striking similarities in how they can affect us and they can all be treated using CBT but they also have different aspects to them. Bitterness is another type of negative emotion that probably can inter-relate to any of the other five.

Hope that helps

John

[Maj]

Bitterness was definitely part of my depression. Bitterness and anger as a result of the situation my life was in at that time. This was a definite diagnosis for me. I can remember it vividly and wouldn't let myself go there again.

Myra

[AndrewJ]

Thanks everybody. There seems to be broad agreement correlating bitterness with depression. I had read depression described as "frozen anger". Also heard it explained in terms of self-esteem. I guess mind, behaviour and outlook must all reinforce a negative climate.

John's point connecting bitternes with a lack of assertiveness is interesting. For many years I forced myself to accept people and ideas I actively disliked as I didn't have confidence in my own opinion, I thought I needed to be more "rounded".

It's very encouraging for me to hear that my bitterness is symptomatic of a solvable problem and not just a character flaw that I'll forever have to live with.