LooksLikeRain
27-10-05, 19:24
My name is Araina. A-R-A-I-N-A... not Ariana
For years, I've battled with manic depression. Throughout middle school, it was often daily that I felt a "numbness" in my chest, but I never knew it could be anxiety.
My family and I moved a lot when I was younger, since my father was in the navy. When I was about 7 years old, my parents divorced. Even after the divorce, my mother, older sister and I continued to move. Any school that I attended, I tried my best to fit in, but it never seemed to work. I was constantly harassed, on school grounds and on the school bus. It continued to happen, lowering and affecting my self-esteem at the same time.
After a few years of moving and mother dating, she found a man who later became my step-father. We've settled down into his town and have been here for about 10 years. Throughout the years, I've struggled to fit in and dealt with a lot of harassing, which resulted in me becoming anti-social. Near the beginning of high school, I was put on the anti-depressant Paxil. After a few months, I was switched to Celexa. After my mother heard of the suicidal warning released by the FDA, she had me withdrawn from it.
During my 4 years of high school, I started a new habit : self-mutilation. When I felt like I was going to "explode" in rage, I would hurt myself. It often calmed me down.
My last year of senior year was when I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I suffered terrible anxiety after winning myself a boyfriend, but his ex-girlfriend and friend (who used to be my friend) threatened me and turned mostly all our friends against us. I constantly fought with my friend, who know I call an ex-friend over his ex-girlfriend, who was violent and controlling over him. My boyfriend stood by my side through the whole thing.
At the end of the senior year, I was sent to the nurse's office twice in one week while having an anxiety attack. The second time, I was wheel-chaired. After all of this, I was given Lorazapam, which was told to stop my anxiety attacks within 15-30 minutes. Every now and then, I stopped at the nurse's office to take a pill. I was also put on Zoloft for my anxiety and depression.
Now, I'm a freshmen in college and 19 years old. My boyfriend and I have celebrated our 8 month anniversary and we never have to deal with our ex-friends and his psycho ex-girlfriend. My self-mutilation habit has seized about a month after we started dating.
Occasionally, I have the feelings of anxiety, but I release my stress and anger in drawing and song writing. I refuse to be brought down by other people and I will try to prove myself in anything that my way.
By joining this forum, I'm hoping to find support and chat with people who understand how I feel. I'm tired of feeling "numb" and I know I can't talk to my friends about this. I'm relieved to find an anxiety site and I hope to benefit from it.
"We don't have to live in fear no more"
-Araina
For years, I've battled with manic depression. Throughout middle school, it was often daily that I felt a "numbness" in my chest, but I never knew it could be anxiety.
My family and I moved a lot when I was younger, since my father was in the navy. When I was about 7 years old, my parents divorced. Even after the divorce, my mother, older sister and I continued to move. Any school that I attended, I tried my best to fit in, but it never seemed to work. I was constantly harassed, on school grounds and on the school bus. It continued to happen, lowering and affecting my self-esteem at the same time.
After a few years of moving and mother dating, she found a man who later became my step-father. We've settled down into his town and have been here for about 10 years. Throughout the years, I've struggled to fit in and dealt with a lot of harassing, which resulted in me becoming anti-social. Near the beginning of high school, I was put on the anti-depressant Paxil. After a few months, I was switched to Celexa. After my mother heard of the suicidal warning released by the FDA, she had me withdrawn from it.
During my 4 years of high school, I started a new habit : self-mutilation. When I felt like I was going to "explode" in rage, I would hurt myself. It often calmed me down.
My last year of senior year was when I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I suffered terrible anxiety after winning myself a boyfriend, but his ex-girlfriend and friend (who used to be my friend) threatened me and turned mostly all our friends against us. I constantly fought with my friend, who know I call an ex-friend over his ex-girlfriend, who was violent and controlling over him. My boyfriend stood by my side through the whole thing.
At the end of the senior year, I was sent to the nurse's office twice in one week while having an anxiety attack. The second time, I was wheel-chaired. After all of this, I was given Lorazapam, which was told to stop my anxiety attacks within 15-30 minutes. Every now and then, I stopped at the nurse's office to take a pill. I was also put on Zoloft for my anxiety and depression.
Now, I'm a freshmen in college and 19 years old. My boyfriend and I have celebrated our 8 month anniversary and we never have to deal with our ex-friends and his psycho ex-girlfriend. My self-mutilation habit has seized about a month after we started dating.
Occasionally, I have the feelings of anxiety, but I release my stress and anger in drawing and song writing. I refuse to be brought down by other people and I will try to prove myself in anything that my way.
By joining this forum, I'm hoping to find support and chat with people who understand how I feel. I'm tired of feeling "numb" and I know I can't talk to my friends about this. I'm relieved to find an anxiety site and I hope to benefit from it.
"We don't have to live in fear no more"
-Araina