Girlspendlow
23-09-09, 11:36
Hi i only found this site early hours of monday morning due to my five year old son being ill he was sick in his bed and came in to tell me , i could feel the fear hit me in a huge wave but i just went into autopilot and got cleaning him up , but not before opening all the windows and holding my breath around him and in his room so as you can see i freaked out yet again and came down stairs and cried for 30 minutes ( mainly to be far away from the germs )andto find something to help . This fear is totally unreasonable , irrational and dibilitating but its something i have had since for as long as i remember Im 26 now and i have tay whos 5 and brodi a 2 year old girl i was not ill while pregnant which i feel quite smug about but the last 3 times i have been sick ( Jan 2001- nov 2005- jun 2009) have been on wednesdays which make me have a mid week panic attack i try my best to hide my fear and have done pretty well for years until i had the kids and realised kids a little germ disciminator's and i had to find some way to help this i tried therapy but she had never heard of this phobia so i haven't been back this fear is so bad that ( i don't live with the kids dad ) i have often thought when the fear is at a height of sending the kids to live with their dad :( i've found just writing this has cleared my mind a little please get intouch with me if anything i've wrote relates to you i have my boyfriend living with me but i think he finds it hard to understand and tells me i should just be sick but thats the scariest thing anyone could say to me thank you for reading my essay and if you have any ideas on things that may help me please hit me back
X Toni X
X Toni X