Ireni
23-09-09, 15:08
Finding it hard to type this at all.
Lately it's been much harder to go outside because of HA, but I've always been able to do it with my 'safe person'. Something happened last night and now I can't leave the door, I'm completely terrified by being left alone. I cannot leave the house, which makes things complicated seeing as I can't go to college AND I can't even go to the doctor's.
I can't explain what happened in words, but it was very physical and didn't feel anything like anxiety. It's impossible to say ''I had x symptom'', but I'll try! I was sitting on the computer at about 4 AM (insomnia) and suddenly I felt really overhelming nausea, I was about to be sick. I got up quickly, feeling as though I was on fire. I felt as though my temperature had gone up and I was feverish. It was so sudden. Then I felt as though - this is the hard bit to describe - I was going to have a seizure. I was 110% convinced I was going to start having a fit there and then. It was a bit like something had gripped hold of my arms and body and was controlling me. My body felt as though it had been poisoned with something metallic. It was the worst thing I've felt in my life and I've had anxiety for years. It only lasted 3 minutes at the worst part but it seemed like hours. It took me longer to recover afterwards from the anxiety (i couldn't talk or stand up and was shaking and everything was swaying). It must be epilepsy. I can't think of anything else it could be. Now I'm scared in case it happens again. I can't see the doctor because, like I said, I can't go out.
What happened? Please, please, please help. I feel in a state of complete terror. I've never felt anything like that ever. Help.
Lately it's been much harder to go outside because of HA, but I've always been able to do it with my 'safe person'. Something happened last night and now I can't leave the door, I'm completely terrified by being left alone. I cannot leave the house, which makes things complicated seeing as I can't go to college AND I can't even go to the doctor's.
I can't explain what happened in words, but it was very physical and didn't feel anything like anxiety. It's impossible to say ''I had x symptom'', but I'll try! I was sitting on the computer at about 4 AM (insomnia) and suddenly I felt really overhelming nausea, I was about to be sick. I got up quickly, feeling as though I was on fire. I felt as though my temperature had gone up and I was feverish. It was so sudden. Then I felt as though - this is the hard bit to describe - I was going to have a seizure. I was 110% convinced I was going to start having a fit there and then. It was a bit like something had gripped hold of my arms and body and was controlling me. My body felt as though it had been poisoned with something metallic. It was the worst thing I've felt in my life and I've had anxiety for years. It only lasted 3 minutes at the worst part but it seemed like hours. It took me longer to recover afterwards from the anxiety (i couldn't talk or stand up and was shaking and everything was swaying). It must be epilepsy. I can't think of anything else it could be. Now I'm scared in case it happens again. I can't see the doctor because, like I said, I can't go out.
What happened? Please, please, please help. I feel in a state of complete terror. I've never felt anything like that ever. Help.