Worrying about a new start

[Matthew82]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure I'm posting this in the right place, but I guess I wanted to write down my feelings to see if anyone has any comments.

I'm 26, and I come from the north west of England. For 12 years I was bullied at school and, ever since, I've suffered from panic and anxiety. The symptoms are mainly racing, pounding heart, facial and back sweating, a feeling that my stomach is in knots, inability to concentrate, tearfulness, and low mood.

I've just moved from away from living with my parents in the north west, to start a PhD on the south coast, and am feeling really bad about it. My family have been a huge support for me throughout my life, and I feel like I've lost them now (even a hug can be of immense help), and I'm feeling very alone. I'm also worrying about whether I'll be able to do my work, and keep a cool head, and all these worries are coming together to make me feel very unhappy.

I'm taking clomipramine, which perhaps help a bit, but at the moment, the anxiety seems to be breaking through it. Mornings are the worst, but the anxiety never goes, and I'm feeling like life is a treadmill which is going too fast, but I can't stop running or I'll fall off.

I talk to my family about this over the phone, but it's not the same as having them there with me, and I feel so alone right now that it's not easy to do things.

Does anyone have any comments.similar experiences/advice? I'd be really grateful for anything.

Thank you.

Matt

[Joellie]

Hey, Im on a slightly different track im having relationship anxiety which is straining my relationship on my part but i can relate to the stomach knots, tearfulness, low moods and inability to concentrait. I also feel the same as you as you feel youron a tredmill and i feeli cant trust what i feel.

Advice wise try and get out, keep busy. I know its hard, i have this thign where i try and get out to distract myself but end up feeling rubbish while im out and wanting to come home. But i have to force myself to keep doing normal things or i would jsut sit in all day and cry.

Where abouts on the southcoast are you? Im near the south coast! You can always pm me if you need a rant!

Go to the docs and try some new meds may be that your body is getting used to it too much and not working as well.

Hope you feel better :)
Joellie

[Matthew82]

Hey Joellie,

My parents (who have both had some experience of this kind of thing himself in the past) keep telling my to keep busy, but it's so hard, when all I want to do is hide in bed. Going to a cafe and reading the paper is ok, but anything else and I start panicking.

Incidentally, I'm from Preston, but now in Southampton...

Matt

[Joellie]

Ooh i have lots of friends in southampton, Its about an hour from me and about 10 minute train journy from my boyfriends :)

I know keeping busy is hard i feel the same. Ive been at college today(now on lunch break at home) and ive had to sit trhough a "childresn health" lesson learning about mental health, that did great for me hearing peopel who dont understand try and explain something theyve never experianced, i had to come home for lunch! Everyone else is going together to a friends house but i just had to come home. Its ok to want that though, just as long as i force myself back after.

Try a new hobby :) I have 3 that i do, but i never do 2 at once. I draw manga, I cross stitch or i make computer games. At the moment with this episode for me i cant really do any of them, i need to force myself to though..

Im pretty new to this, as its the first time iv suffered and ive had it about a month i think, its getting worse with time but ive just started bedranol so fingers crossed :)

You should go out and see southampton they have a great load of bars and portsmouth isnt too far they have like a peir and rides and stuff.

All you can do is your best right?