veebea
25-09-09, 00:40
:wacko: I'm having a bit of a moment. After a disasterous attempt at citalopram which left me an anxious wreck I've been taking Trazodone all week. It's been great but today I've had to up my dose as the panic started to creep back. I feel odd that I need medication to feel normal. It has only just hit me I think, that I feel fine on these meds, no overwhelming dread, no fear of silly noises, nothing that can overwhelm me. But today as my body got used to it, the feelings crept back, took me totally off guard, and made me realise that I may be on these pills for the longhaul. I have 28 days worth which I htought was just my doctor being cautious but actually I think it may well be the first prescription of many. I know the old line about you wouldn't think twice about pain medication so these should be no different. They are pills that make me feel better. I am just wondering what is so wrong with my mind that I need pills to feel normal :huh:
I have been in denial about my anxiety for a long long time until it became absolutely unbearable and was takign over my life, so I should be grateful for this respite. But now I am anxious about the way I feel better :doh: I had expected to have to wait a long time for counselling and then to feel better. I am rambling now. Does anyone else feel the same? I guess it must be a common reaction when the pills work- the citalopram was a disaster and I had suspected more of the same from the trazodone. I'm goign to bed as I've just taken my dose (it's my birthday and I've been up til this time tidying so I can enjoy a nice clean house for one day a year :roflmao:) but I'll be interested in what anyone has to say :)
I have been in denial about my anxiety for a long long time until it became absolutely unbearable and was takign over my life, so I should be grateful for this respite. But now I am anxious about the way I feel better :doh: I had expected to have to wait a long time for counselling and then to feel better. I am rambling now. Does anyone else feel the same? I guess it must be a common reaction when the pills work- the citalopram was a disaster and I had suspected more of the same from the trazodone. I'm goign to bed as I've just taken my dose (it's my birthday and I've been up til this time tidying so I can enjoy a nice clean house for one day a year :roflmao:) but I'll be interested in what anyone has to say :)