Want this to stop :(

[Joellie]

I really want this to stop! I just randomly had a thought that some people dump their girlfriends and boyfriends before they start university and it started me off onto a paranoid "Should i dump him before university" thing :( I hate this so much. I just want to feel the way i did before. Its made me consider not going! Im going to be living at home so surely its going to be just like im at college now just a bit harder. Im trying to reassure myself but now i just feel worried that we wont work through university! But we worked through his university course.

Do you think anxiety is just clouding every little worry i have? Making it worse than it really is.

[teez]

i know these thoughts and fears,,only too well,,,dont do anything yet hun,,,just bide your time,,:hugs:

[Joellie]

I really dont want us to break up iwant us to pull trhough but i have little faith in myself over it, im scared im not strong enough to hold the relationship together. Im scared il get anxiety and depression while im studying and il have all these horrible doubts all over again and i want us to work :(

Im sick of thinking this way, i dont get why i cant just believe that trying my hardest will work. I feel a bit like im doomed to fail at it, yet i see it that if i do fail this relationship i wont ever find happiness

[dante]

the anxiety is good at causing one thing and thats doubt,we doubt what we worry over, the doubt causes the anxiety its just a circle u get stuck in,but try not to doubt that things wont turn out ok, just move on and things will happen as they are meant to :)

[Joellie]

Yeah, im just having trouble talking to anyone about it because if i talk to my boyfriend i worry (worry again!) that hes going to be upset by how im feeling, i do talk but sometimes its not relevant and my dad just thinks its osmething i can control.

I dont see why i see this is a scary thing or a big deal. Its just like moving from school to college yet i see it as something scary, a huge big change that will break us up and theres no reason to think it. The damn anxiety feeling is just crushing all my future plans and i want it to go away

[Dolan1989]

If the only reson you are thinking of splitting up with your boyfried is because you're worried abouty anxiety in the future, then I'd recommend that you stick with him.

If he makes you feel happier, makes you laugh and things like that then surely he will make the stress of uni more bareable. If he has also been though uni himself he might be able to help you through it.

xx

[Joellie]

I know i want to stay with him, i feel like if anxiety was a person pushing me to break up with him saying right im staying here forever untill you break up with him then id rather go to sleep and never wake up than do what it wants me to.

Im a whirlwind of emotion tonight, not really sure how im feeling about everything i feel a bit over the place.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

It depends on so many factors really! Such as - how long you've been together, what the weaknesses if any in your relationship are, how far away from one another you'll be, how often you can meet, how much time you'll have to meet, your personalities, personal insecurities, your ages...infinite variables!

People do indeed ditch their partners when they go to uni..but as you say..thats sometimes, not always. I know the unknown can be scary. You may well split up..but you may well make it through as well. No one can say right now, unfortunately! The lousy parts of life include learning to live with ambiguity. Therapy (unis provide it free usually) is very helpful in such cases..and listening to your gut.

[Joellie]

Well im in college councelling atm lol and i know deep down we will be fine. He is 22 im 19, but when i go il be 20 and he will be 23, when i go we'll have been together 5 years, i think weve balanced out longdistance well, we live an hour drive away and see each other every other weekend for about 3/4 days, so on that front i know il see him just as much because il be living at home and commuting.


I thinkt he prospect that "oh my god people dont stay together in uni" managed to mix with my anxious side and blew up into "oh my god i better dump him now or something wrong will happen" when really im just anxious and emotional. I feel totally dfferent now than i did when i wrote all this and i feel really silly lol but thats something im having to come to terms with.

I very much plan to come out of uni unbruised lol i just think when i get these attacks all reasoning goes out the window and im an emotional and nervious wreck!
thanks for you ideas all :)