Things to consider for success!

[Scaredtoolong]

Hi everyone,

It has been a really long time since I posted on this site. I recently received an email from another member and it made me realize I should post an update.

I want to pass along some thoughts that helped me understand this condition and how it can be overcome.

For those of you who don't know my story, let me just say that I WAS so bad that I couldn't walk to my own mailbox at the end of my driveway at one point! I had most of the symptoms...heart raced, breathless, choking, lump in throat, shaking internally & externally, digestive troubles, bowel troubles, stomach troubles, etc...

I also want to thank Meg, whose help at that time was priceless. Listen to what she says, she is brillant and truly knows the path to recovery from this.

So without further ado, here are some thoughts for you to ponder...

What is it about panic that takes over our whole world? For most, it is the physical symptoms. What causes those symptoms? Well, if you asked someone who is afraid of spiders, would they say "panic attacks" or because my heart is racing or I am shaking. NO! They would say spiders! What about someone who is afraid of elevators. They would say elevators. My eight year old son is afraid of monsters. So, naturally, he would say monsters.

Ask someone who suffers from panic attacks, they say panic attacks OR they name any or all of the physical symptoms brought on by...FEAR!

If you look at the samples of phobias mentioned above you see that they have the exact same symptoms as we who suffer panic attacks. The only difference is that they have an exact cause/thought attached to the physical symptoms they feel, so they aren't afraid of the physical symptoms. That is one thing that made me realize that we do this to ourselves. Another example is why do most of us experience our symptoms in places away from home...for example the grocery store.

Yes, we do have symptoms at home or in our "safe place" but that is because we have reached the point of dwelling so much on this, that eventually they are with you all the time. It never made sense to me that when I was in a grocery store that the symptoms would come on, but as soon as I got out the door, they would almost immediately start to settle down. SO , if this REALLY were a chemical imbalance or physical malady then it should be happening 24 hours a day 7days a week.

If you have say, diabetes, which is a chemical imbalance of sorts, then you have it all the time. Do you see what I mean?

Also, when I was completely distracted by something else, I wouldn't have any symptoms until I THOUGHT about panic again. For example I would be feeling fine and just thinking I was feeling okay made the panic creep back in. I would think why do I feel okay? How long before "it" comes back? That is one of the biggest walls to break down is realizing that there is no "IT"!!!!! It is your own mind conjuring up (even if you don't realize it at the time) these thoughts that something is wrong. That sets off the alarm system that creates the physical symptoms that creates the panic that perpetuates the whole cycle until...viola...PANIC DISORDER. I think that the title of panic disorder should be banned from use. That alone makes us believe that there is something wrong with us that is different from everyone else.

I have found that when I am under alot of stress the symptoms come back. Do I have have panic attacks anymore...NO! I have physical symptoms associated with stress just like every other human being on the planet. I used to let those symptoms scare me into thinking that there was something very, very wrong with me.

A really good example and a HUGE "light bulb moment" for me, of just how much you can mentally affect your physical self is this...

In September 2004, I had to go to the doctor for my annual check up. My white blood count came back slightly elevated, same with the platelets. Well, I went internet surfing and I had all but convinced myself that I had leukemia. I freaked out! Panic was w

[Meg]

Hey Susan,

Lovely to hear from you again.

It was this post that was reactivated that has got everyones interest. I was thinking of contacting you for an update but glad someone beat me to it

This condition can be overcome! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=374)

Thank you for stopping by and glad you are doing great and still banking your own evidence that your 'thought patterns' are so vital in this recovery process.

We all have to learn it for ourselves - however many times we hear it.

I know I say it continually and I know people still find it hard to actually believe it until they have proved it several times for themselves and when you most need to prove it is when you're most reluctant to.

Energy follows thought

Thoughts not instructions

Think fear or uncertainty = feel scared or unsafe.


Love

Meg

[carlin]

Hi there,
It was a pleasure to read your post, thank you very much for taking time to give us that good advice. xxxx

[tygwyn]

Hi Susan

Thanks very much for taking the time to post an update. Hope you didn't mind me emailing you?

I've read, and re- read this email this morning and last night.

I think I've found where I have been going wrong. I may have been doing too much in order to distract myself. The time where I feel at my worst is like you say, when I'm at home 'thinking'! The thing I find most difficult to do is sit around doing nothing - watching the telly downstairs is quite difficult. Last night however I made a point of doing it for a few hours. I didn't feel bad at all so that was good (although my head was banging so I did end up going to bed at 9pm!). This morning I made a point of watching telly in bed for a couple of hours and letting the sypmtoms come - analysing them at the same time (and also doing my deep breathing). Also instead of rushing around so that I could get out of the house as soon as possible I made a point of pottering around for a while - not rushing. Yes I was anxious but it didn't kill me. I also found that I don't have to be in a fantastic mood all the time to deal with it and to work with it. I was low this morning (no real change there) but I carried on and the fear flashes that I usually get at the Car Boot this morning didn't come!

Saturday mornings are always my worst day because I have to wait around until 10.30am before taking my daughter horse riding. Yesterday I did start building myself up before going and normally that would mean that when I did arrive anxiety would kick in - but it didn't yesterday which is great. I need to keep reminding myself of these small changes.

Thanks so much Susan (and Meg) for taking the time to listen to me and to help me.

Rach xxxx

"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)

[Ruthie88]

Hey Susan

It was such a wonderful thing to read your post.

So many of us who have suffered panic disorder believe there is something wrong with us - genetically, physically, etc. You are correct. We create the chemical imbalance. This is why medication does not work in the long run. Because if we rely on medication to fix us we do not learn to accept our natural anxiety symptoms and remain fearful of them. Medication is trying to balance a chemical imbalance that we are creating and we have more power than the medication. Thats not to say that meds aren't valuable to 'take the edge off' when your panic symptoms begin - and they also have a good placebo effect for a while. They are just not effecting in the long run. To really recover you need to lose the fear.

Rach - when I was in the midst of it all I used to tell myself to bring it on. I would say things to myself like 'is that all you have' etc (sounds weird I know). It's like I had to phase it out. I broke up with my boyfriend on the weekend and I have uni exams next week (finding it difficult to study) plus work is very busy at the moment. I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. And I am experiencing anxiety symptoms and I am pretty tearful. But its okay because this kind of thing is natural. We all experience it.

It is interesting to hear that all people that recover do it through losing the fear. It's the only way. And its the scariest way. And we are the only people that can do it for ourselves.

I liked your diabetes analogy to Susan - so true. Thats the line they like to use!