fed_up09
28-09-09, 21:54
Hi, I'm new on here. My health anxiety started October '08. Here is my story...
September '08: Due to agoraphobia, failed my University course. Previous to this, I had agoraphobia for three years after being mugged. I finally saw a counsellor, and my fears vanished. Great... but not so great. Instead of feeling completely care-free and worry-free, I felt that there as a 'gap' left from not worrying about going outside anymore.
October '08- Early Jan '09- Got a common cold. Nothing serious or even worth painkillers! However, it caused my left neck gland to swell and be sore. What first started as mindless prodding turned into obsessive checking of it. It took roughly four months to go because of how much I prodded. Had several Doctor visits about this - about 4/5. Each time told no tests were needed as the node was only 0.5cm and they only worry about ones over 1cm. Reassured? No way - not until it was gone.
Mid Jan '09 -Present - This has been my major concern. I was playing on the Wii and felt a tug on chest. Ignored it and carried on. Next day, swollen chest with a 'lump' by sternum/cartilage connection. Major fear. Breast cancer it must be! Over the months have seen two Doctors about this about 7 times. Each time they have noted it has decreased dramatically. It has reduced to everyone, yet to me it feels bigger and bigger. To me, it's still here as big as Day 1 but to everyone else, it just feels like a rib. What do I do? Force the Dr to X-ray me when they think its a rib? They would take me out surgery in white coat! Everything the Dr has said, and the fact she doesn't see need to send me for tests should reassure me. But no chance. Now convinced I'm living with bone cancer.
If that wasn't enough!! During Mid Jan- Present also thought I've had;
1) Anal Cancer (Was an anal skin tag..)
2) Womb/Ovary/Cervical cancer
3) Vulvar cancer
Arrghhh. Just found out my local surgery is merging into a bigger one. Now worried that when go there, a new Doctor will feel my 'rib lump' and be like "OH my god, why haven't you been seen to earlier!?!?!" I have become obsessed with researching cancer statistics. I think I know the top 25 cancers off by heart in order of incidence, mortatility and survival.
I need someone, please please, to tell me how to go forward with this. Do you think I have anything to worry about re: my rib? Would the Dr be so adament nothing was wrong after 6 months and 7 visists? Could 2 Dr's be so wrong and mistake a rib for a bony tumour? If to them it felt like a mass like it does to me, surely they would send me off straight away? My Dr said even if she had 0.000000000000001% worries she would have whisked me off because it's more than her jobs worth. Just as I sit here thinking about this, the area around it feels like its throbbing but as soon as I distract my self I have no discomfort.
Due to return to uni next week. Already failed because of one fear. Don't want to fail again because now have health anxiety :(
September '08: Due to agoraphobia, failed my University course. Previous to this, I had agoraphobia for three years after being mugged. I finally saw a counsellor, and my fears vanished. Great... but not so great. Instead of feeling completely care-free and worry-free, I felt that there as a 'gap' left from not worrying about going outside anymore.
October '08- Early Jan '09- Got a common cold. Nothing serious or even worth painkillers! However, it caused my left neck gland to swell and be sore. What first started as mindless prodding turned into obsessive checking of it. It took roughly four months to go because of how much I prodded. Had several Doctor visits about this - about 4/5. Each time told no tests were needed as the node was only 0.5cm and they only worry about ones over 1cm. Reassured? No way - not until it was gone.
Mid Jan '09 -Present - This has been my major concern. I was playing on the Wii and felt a tug on chest. Ignored it and carried on. Next day, swollen chest with a 'lump' by sternum/cartilage connection. Major fear. Breast cancer it must be! Over the months have seen two Doctors about this about 7 times. Each time they have noted it has decreased dramatically. It has reduced to everyone, yet to me it feels bigger and bigger. To me, it's still here as big as Day 1 but to everyone else, it just feels like a rib. What do I do? Force the Dr to X-ray me when they think its a rib? They would take me out surgery in white coat! Everything the Dr has said, and the fact she doesn't see need to send me for tests should reassure me. But no chance. Now convinced I'm living with bone cancer.
If that wasn't enough!! During Mid Jan- Present also thought I've had;
1) Anal Cancer (Was an anal skin tag..)
2) Womb/Ovary/Cervical cancer
3) Vulvar cancer
Arrghhh. Just found out my local surgery is merging into a bigger one. Now worried that when go there, a new Doctor will feel my 'rib lump' and be like "OH my god, why haven't you been seen to earlier!?!?!" I have become obsessed with researching cancer statistics. I think I know the top 25 cancers off by heart in order of incidence, mortatility and survival.
I need someone, please please, to tell me how to go forward with this. Do you think I have anything to worry about re: my rib? Would the Dr be so adament nothing was wrong after 6 months and 7 visists? Could 2 Dr's be so wrong and mistake a rib for a bony tumour? If to them it felt like a mass like it does to me, surely they would send me off straight away? My Dr said even if she had 0.000000000000001% worries she would have whisked me off because it's more than her jobs worth. Just as I sit here thinking about this, the area around it feels like its throbbing but as soon as I distract my self I have no discomfort.
Due to return to uni next week. Already failed because of one fear. Don't want to fail again because now have health anxiety :(