1:30am and once again up for the night

[Dolan1989]

went out on thursday night to a uni social. It was the first time I'd been out in a while and was really enjoying being out with my friends, I didn't get panicky and enjoyed the night.

About half an hour ago though I remembered something silly and started to dwell on it. I was on the dance floor with a friend whenhe hit me in the face for a laugh. It was meant to be a play fight but it did hurt so i shouted at him but not really being serious. I think he took it a bit to heart so I gave him a quick peck and said not to worry i was only joking. He probably wuldn't even remember it if I mentioned it.

I was sat thinking about it though and although it was nothing romantic, I don't find the guy romantic or anything, and I felt really bad on my boyfriend, as if I'd one something really wrong.

i decided to tell him so I've just gone into our room to tell him. He is really tired though so he's kind of just said ok and rolled back over and gone to sleep.

I'm now sat here though worrying that tomorrow he's going to be really angry and bring up past problems. He once kissed a couple of girls on a night out and decided he didn't want to be with me, started seeing the other girl before realising a couple of weeks laterthat he wanted to be back with me. I love him so I forgave him although it's taken over a year to get over.

I've tried going to sleep but I've just got really worked up and ill.

I'm also panicking because it's back to uni tomorrow and I'm already struglling with my dissertation and I just don't know how I'm going to get through the year.

I'm also seeing a counsellor for the first time tomorrow which at the moment just seems to be adding problems.

If this doesn't sound like a completely stupid problem to you, then please help, as I just feel awful right now.

Nat xx

[Danath]

not stupid at all,

I've spent about 5 days myself being awake for the entire night in the past 2 weeks, I know where you're at there.

now i dunno your fella but it seems to me that if hes said ok now and let it slide even if hes tired hes probably not gonna flip about it tommorow, besides, if you think about it, people are generally crankier and more likely to flip when they are tired,I know I am. if he was gonna kick off hun he mgiht well have done it now rather than tommorow when hes more refreshed.

hope this helps.

[Dolan1989]

I was just stressing myself out sitting here and dwelling on it and could feel myself getting ill, so even though i didn't see it as that important I thought it would make me feel better just to tell him, so i didnt feel like i was hiding things.

But now I just feel even worse, Like I've made an extra problem for myself, out of something which I promise was really nothing. It was just a friend to friend peck, like I do with my girl mates and things.

I just really hope my bf sees it that way as i wouldn't want to upset him or make him feel like he can't trust me.

xx

[sandy35]

I don't think that your boyfriend is going to go mad over a peck on the cheek. You have done nothing wrong! I don't tend to not sleep at night especially if I am worked up about a problem or situation.

[Joellie]

I get like this with my boyfriend. I have a really good guy friend who is my dads gf's son. And theres nothign romantic there at all but like if someone says like "oh your really close" ig et all worried and upset about it in case my boyfriend thinks its romantic etc.

Dont worry about it im sure he is fine, he would have said so when you told him.

[Dolan1989]

Nope I got a text from him earlier saying he's really angry.

I tried to ring him but he's obviously at work so he wont want to talk about it.

Dreading him coming home in two hours now.

He obviously thinks because it was important enough to mention, that something bad happened, but it really didn't, I just thought he should know.

I just really don't want him to say he doesn't want to be with me anymore, he's fed up enough with me as it is!

[Joellie]

Oh :( well really thats a bit silly, because he has no real reason to be angry! It was a "im sorry" peck. Once you explain this to him just say that the mere thought of "its worth telling him" set the anxiety off.

Its a shame he reacted this way because at least you were honest!

[sandy35]

I am sorry that he has reacted like as well this but im sending you hugs.:bighug1:

[Dolan1989]

Thank you, it's all sorted now i think. I explained and he seemed upset but said he'd take my word for it. He was a bit quiet with me at first but he's cheered up throughout the night x