Marr
29-09-09, 19:50
Hi there,
I have been suffering from bad panic disorder/anxiety for over the past month, which has been getting progressively worst. Each new fear/bad thought that takes hold of me is worst than the last and this thought/fear/anxiety seems to latch onto different natural bodily actions/senses, like breathing, swallowing and now onto my eyesight. It's almost like it shifts to something else when I start to beat it, crazy. Everytime it shifts it gets worst, the breathing was really bad but the focus on the eyesight is harder to deal with. My fear is that how can i get that out of my head when vision is my most powerful sense and i always am aware of the world through my eyes, i know it sounds messed up but i want to explain it as best i can. It has made everything surreal and i feel like i have lost my mind! Everything is tainted by it. How will i get back to my old self where i worried about normal day to day stuff
I went to a new doctor yesterday who was very understanding and he said i have panic order/depression and also stated that alcohol was playing a major factor in the increased intensity of my fear. He said that if i had of stopped drinking when i initially got these symptoms i wouldn't be talking to him and the fear would have passed. I had continued to take alcohol during the past month to ease the symptons of the breathing swallowing issues and it worked. Not to excess, but a couple of beers in the night to make me forget about them, however once this focus on my eyesight surfaced alcohol has stopped working, that made it clear that i'm in serious trouble. He put me on Lexapro, which i started yesterday, i know it takes some time to work but last night i slept for a bout an hour, the worst night of my life. I started to think about ending it all this morning, i felt sick, fatigued and scared of opening my eyes, as my fear is focused on what i'm seeing through them, i cannot explain that thought, but something inside me told me i cannot die because of this, i must get my life back. I cannot hurt the people that love me. I am holding on to that thought but it is dwarfed by my fears. I have completely cut out alcohol but my fear is that i am too far gone and i have gone in too deep to ever be normal again.
I do hope you guys/girls can give me some healing words or advice, or if anyone has experienced anything like this, how did you pull through?
Thank you
I have been suffering from bad panic disorder/anxiety for over the past month, which has been getting progressively worst. Each new fear/bad thought that takes hold of me is worst than the last and this thought/fear/anxiety seems to latch onto different natural bodily actions/senses, like breathing, swallowing and now onto my eyesight. It's almost like it shifts to something else when I start to beat it, crazy. Everytime it shifts it gets worst, the breathing was really bad but the focus on the eyesight is harder to deal with. My fear is that how can i get that out of my head when vision is my most powerful sense and i always am aware of the world through my eyes, i know it sounds messed up but i want to explain it as best i can. It has made everything surreal and i feel like i have lost my mind! Everything is tainted by it. How will i get back to my old self where i worried about normal day to day stuff
I went to a new doctor yesterday who was very understanding and he said i have panic order/depression and also stated that alcohol was playing a major factor in the increased intensity of my fear. He said that if i had of stopped drinking when i initially got these symptoms i wouldn't be talking to him and the fear would have passed. I had continued to take alcohol during the past month to ease the symptons of the breathing swallowing issues and it worked. Not to excess, but a couple of beers in the night to make me forget about them, however once this focus on my eyesight surfaced alcohol has stopped working, that made it clear that i'm in serious trouble. He put me on Lexapro, which i started yesterday, i know it takes some time to work but last night i slept for a bout an hour, the worst night of my life. I started to think about ending it all this morning, i felt sick, fatigued and scared of opening my eyes, as my fear is focused on what i'm seeing through them, i cannot explain that thought, but something inside me told me i cannot die because of this, i must get my life back. I cannot hurt the people that love me. I am holding on to that thought but it is dwarfed by my fears. I have completely cut out alcohol but my fear is that i am too far gone and i have gone in too deep to ever be normal again.
I do hope you guys/girls can give me some healing words or advice, or if anyone has experienced anything like this, how did you pull through?
Thank you