bumble18
30-09-09, 00:46
I have suffered with this for over two years now, im 18.
i read so many stories of people not gettingover it for 10-20 years, and whhen people get better it comes back loads from stress etc.
im so terrified il be like this forever
im in tears right now, again, because its too hard to handle.
i want the easy way out, ive tried so hard and none of it has worked im still 90% housebound.
its not eased off much in two years
i dont know why it happened
i dont know how to stop it happening again
ive lost all but 2 friends
im ruining my boyfriends life with mood swings and never been able to go out with him anywhere, which makes me paranoid of who hes with.
I just wanna get away
every night i have these amazing dreams where i have little or no anxiety
and its so perfect
and then i wake up
no one should haveto feel the way i do when i realised it was all just a dream
i just want to dream forever
in my dreams ive moved away, started a new life, fell in love and am able to do whatever i want in life.
but instead im stuck here wasting away, the last bits of my teen years just flowing by.
while almost everyone my age that i know has gone off to uni
i didnt even go to college
theyre all clubbing and drinking themselves silly, having laughs and sleepovers and going shopping
im sitting inside doing nothing all day every day
i just sit with a headache from crying so much
its never going away is it
this should probably go in teh depression forum, but the ammount of my posts that go in there makes me even more depressed =[
i need this to go away :'( i dont know how to live this way
i dont think i can
i read so many stories of people not gettingover it for 10-20 years, and whhen people get better it comes back loads from stress etc.
im so terrified il be like this forever
im in tears right now, again, because its too hard to handle.
i want the easy way out, ive tried so hard and none of it has worked im still 90% housebound.
its not eased off much in two years
i dont know why it happened
i dont know how to stop it happening again
ive lost all but 2 friends
im ruining my boyfriends life with mood swings and never been able to go out with him anywhere, which makes me paranoid of who hes with.
I just wanna get away
every night i have these amazing dreams where i have little or no anxiety
and its so perfect
and then i wake up
no one should haveto feel the way i do when i realised it was all just a dream
i just want to dream forever
in my dreams ive moved away, started a new life, fell in love and am able to do whatever i want in life.
but instead im stuck here wasting away, the last bits of my teen years just flowing by.
while almost everyone my age that i know has gone off to uni
i didnt even go to college
theyre all clubbing and drinking themselves silly, having laughs and sleepovers and going shopping
im sitting inside doing nothing all day every day
i just sit with a headache from crying so much
its never going away is it
this should probably go in teh depression forum, but the ammount of my posts that go in there makes me even more depressed =[
i need this to go away :'( i dont know how to live this way
i dont think i can