Tomimo
30-09-09, 22:19
I have got myself in a total state - I know I am going to have to make another doctor's appointment but am scared to go as have convinced myself that this is it....
About 5 weeks ago I felt short of breath and went to docs, chest clear - I suffer from anxiety so accepted this was the cause...
A few days later developed a chesty cough and actually felt a bit better as chest not so tight. Started coughing up phlem which gradually went through all colours from clear to green and although I was very wheezy and coughing I thought this would pass - being an anxiety sufferer, I hate going to docs as I feel that I am wasting their time and that they'll think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill so didn't go back for a few weeks despite feeling shocking. Last week I was so fed up of being breathless that I went to see the doc about cough and she presecribed a strong dose of antibioticsfor chest infection (amoxycillin 500mg). Anyway the next day I developed a headache when I coughed but this didn't surprise me as straining so hard when coughing I assumed it was a trigger. The next day I got some vag bleeding (not period) while straining for a poo (sorry!) and wanted to check it was vag and not other so felt inside and felt a lump on my cervix which led to huge panic! The headache (one side) is worse having spread from just temple to all along the side and I made the mistake of googling it which said that coughing headaches are rare in people under 50 and are often due to complications with the brain. In addition to this I have had a pain in my tailbone and bum for months but it isn't awful, just kinda there - now this headache with the long term cough, back pain and lump on cervix has made me really scared that I have got something terrible, metastatic (Sp) cancer or something and I am terrified.......of course now I keep needing to go to the loo causing more bleeding but the bowel opening is caused by fear I know.
Rationally I have tried to tell myself:
Cough - chest infection but length of time it has lasted is scaring me
Headache - normal when having had infection..(god I hope so)
Lump on cervix - had smear 5 months ago and was clear but have had genital warts in the past so could be that??
Bum pain - fell down the stairs about 5 months ago, landed really badly was sore for a few days then fine and pain came on about a month later so could be related....?
On top of this have started a new teaching job in upper primary at a VERY challengning school and obv am feeling stressed and have no time to actually recover from bad chest in first place so feel very run down - I am sure anxiety exacerbates it all. Would feel like and idiot going to the doc and reeling off these symptoms....but deep down I am really scared that he'll tell me I'm dying.
I know that no-one can actually tell me it's all ok or not but wanted to get it down as am so scared.... http://www.baby-greenhouse.co.uk/smilies/sad.gif I just keep crying as I know I need to get checked out but am terrified there will be nothing they can do as I have a cancer which has spread....What will I do - I know no-one wants to die and it does happen but I keep looking at my kids and being paralysed with fear.
About 5 weeks ago I felt short of breath and went to docs, chest clear - I suffer from anxiety so accepted this was the cause...
A few days later developed a chesty cough and actually felt a bit better as chest not so tight. Started coughing up phlem which gradually went through all colours from clear to green and although I was very wheezy and coughing I thought this would pass - being an anxiety sufferer, I hate going to docs as I feel that I am wasting their time and that they'll think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill so didn't go back for a few weeks despite feeling shocking. Last week I was so fed up of being breathless that I went to see the doc about cough and she presecribed a strong dose of antibioticsfor chest infection (amoxycillin 500mg). Anyway the next day I developed a headache when I coughed but this didn't surprise me as straining so hard when coughing I assumed it was a trigger. The next day I got some vag bleeding (not period) while straining for a poo (sorry!) and wanted to check it was vag and not other so felt inside and felt a lump on my cervix which led to huge panic! The headache (one side) is worse having spread from just temple to all along the side and I made the mistake of googling it which said that coughing headaches are rare in people under 50 and are often due to complications with the brain. In addition to this I have had a pain in my tailbone and bum for months but it isn't awful, just kinda there - now this headache with the long term cough, back pain and lump on cervix has made me really scared that I have got something terrible, metastatic (Sp) cancer or something and I am terrified.......of course now I keep needing to go to the loo causing more bleeding but the bowel opening is caused by fear I know.
Rationally I have tried to tell myself:
Cough - chest infection but length of time it has lasted is scaring me
Headache - normal when having had infection..(god I hope so)
Lump on cervix - had smear 5 months ago and was clear but have had genital warts in the past so could be that??
Bum pain - fell down the stairs about 5 months ago, landed really badly was sore for a few days then fine and pain came on about a month later so could be related....?
On top of this have started a new teaching job in upper primary at a VERY challengning school and obv am feeling stressed and have no time to actually recover from bad chest in first place so feel very run down - I am sure anxiety exacerbates it all. Would feel like and idiot going to the doc and reeling off these symptoms....but deep down I am really scared that he'll tell me I'm dying.
I know that no-one can actually tell me it's all ok or not but wanted to get it down as am so scared.... http://www.baby-greenhouse.co.uk/smilies/sad.gif I just keep crying as I know I need to get checked out but am terrified there will be nothing they can do as I have a cancer which has spread....What will I do - I know no-one wants to die and it does happen but I keep looking at my kids and being paralysed with fear.