Apologies to all HA sufferers.

[JohnLuke300]

I must apologize to all health anxiety sufferers. Since I have been on this forum I have read many of the posts involving HA. I have read the posts of sufferers obsessing over anxiety symptoms and tried to sympathize and offer advice. But I have to admit that I felt it a little difficult to truly empathize with their condition. You see I do not have HA I have social phobia and my problems are more about my avoidance than my anxiety. I suffer anxiety chronically but I find the level manageable and since I have had it since childhood I feel I have learned to tolerate it. But this morning I am having a taste of what you have to go through on a regular basis and my heart genuinely aches for you. Ironically the reason my anxiety is so bad this morning is not an indication my condition is getting worse, no quite the reverse. You see today I have decided to take bravery/stupidity (you chose :D) to new heights. Rather than face one intimidating situation, I have chosen to face four. I mentor a 13yr old lad with Aspergers and ADHT and he asked for me to take him swimming last week and I obliged, even though I knew it would potentially be difficult for me. But such is my confidence after my astonishing shopping accomplishments, yes I faced and survived clothes shopping and a supermarket :D, I have decided to really push the boat out. I am going to take him swimming again, although this time we will also use the gym. He asked if we could use it last week but I felt that the swimming would be enough of a challenge so I declined. But feeling guilty I have decided to attempt it this week. But that is not all, I have decided to take him to a social club. The social club is part of the mentoring scheme I am a volunteer with but of recently they now hold the club at my old school. Although I have attended the club with him on many occasions the fact that it is at my old school and I know there will be many new mentors and young people going makes it much more intimidating for me. My old school brings back a lot of memories mostly socially phobic ones which really know how to fire up my anxiety. I also have to face public transport another of my phobias. So as you can imagine, my anxiety has just exploded this morning as I contemplate what I am going to face today. My chest is so tight it feels like I am going to have a seizure or something from Alien is going to burst out of it. I feel light-headed and kind of peculiar like I might have a stroke at any moment. And my stomach is churning like my washing machine. So now I know after a few short hours what you must be going through. And how you can suffer it for so long without losing your marbles is testament to you. So once again I offer my humblest apologies.

P.S. If you do forgive me for my ignorance a few good lucks would not go amiss. :yesyes:

All the best from
A much more sympathetic

John

[bellabessnjet]

John,
Just stumbled accross your post, although you may not have understood all peoples reasons for anxiety i cannot believe you really did not sympathise and try to understand them. Since I joined this site you have offered me (and others) a lot of good advice. Please dont be hard on yourself and I'm sorry your feeling stressed today. I think your doing a wonderful job mentoring your young lad and you must get an awful lot of satisfaction. I think your being hard on yourself give yourself a break, and thank you so much for all your help. and good luck for tonight (though you won't need it)
Angela

[diane07]

Best of luck John,

I hope it all goes well and what a wonderful job you do.

best wishes

di xx

[JohnLuke300]

Thanks Angela & Di, but I have just got back and feel somewhat traumatized. I managed to cope (just) but the young lad I mentor was in 'difficult mode' and I really had it. Started because his mother had packed the wrong swimming trunks and he refused to go swimming in them. And it went rapidly downhill from there. But as I said I managed to cope, without going into panic, and survived the experience.

Angela regarding HA sufferers I did and do have sympathy with them but I failed to understand why they obsess so much over their anxiety symptoms. I realize now that my anxiety only peaks when I put myself in a feared situation. But I have avoided most of these situations for most of my life thus preventing my anxiety from getting really high. But that has only maintained my phobia. Now that I am exposing myself to these situations the level of anxiety I am suffering means I now understand why they obsess over them so much. They are distressing but fortunately for me these high levels last a few hours at most. And I don't have HA so I see them for what they are just high levels of anxiety. But it must be brutal to face it for such long spells.

All the best

John

[bellabessnjet]

Sorry to hear about tonight, one little thing can upset the autism applecart and normally something so small and insignificant to us! I hope I didnt upset you earlier, but I just know that although you might not have fully understood HA suffers before, your not to feel bad about it because youve helped me to understand about anxiety and phobia through your experiences. We can sympathise with others but never fully understand until 'You've walked a mile in their shoes'. I dont think you should be feeling down about how you regarded other sufferers just beacause you didn't understand but now you've experienced a little of what others go through maybe you will be able to seek help/advice and give advice from your perspective.
Take care and well done for getting through tonight I really do think you offer a great service to the young lad.
Angela

[JohnLuke300]

Angela you never upset me, I just thought you may have misinterpreted what I was saying. I often doubt and question myself, perhaps it is my social phobia or a self-esteem issue. I also suffer from emotional detachment and tend to beat myself up when I feel so distant from people. But things are definitely improving for me because I take less notice of the negative thoughts I have about myself. I've started to use this site to unburden myself of them and move on, its proving quite therapeutic. :D

And although today was tough, I just got right back on the saddle, and I have agreed to do the same next Thursday. :D Fear has not got the best of me yet!

Take care,

John

[teez]

wow what a change since i first replyed to one of your earlier posts,,i think your doing marvelously ,,,full marks to you ,,and as for not understanding anyone with Ha , i dont think we understand it,,let alone someone whose never been there, keep up your hard work john,,your gonna get this sorted ,i have every confidence in you,,:hugs:

[JohnLuke300]

Thanks teez, your support has been most appreciated. And you are right I have made good progress, just wish I had a good cure for insomnia right now though. :D

Take care,

John :hugs:

[teez]

if you find that let me know,,,i never sleep till 2ish then awake again 2 to 3 hours later ,,,i just find a good book read away till it drops on my face :roflmao: