Christening

[fishman65]

OK guys I have a problem.The thing is,my daughter is having her baby christened on Sunday and I can't go.Well I COULD go but it would mean consuming alcohol in order to be able to do it(there's 150 people going),and the fact its on a Sunday and Sundays combined with alcohol trigger me cos of my past associations.In 1989 I drank heavily on a Sunday and had a breakdown on the Monday....1990 and 1994 too.So,either 1.I go completely sober and panic or 2.I don't go and remain sober or 3.I go but drink.And as I'm in the middle of a med change,I think I should take the pressure off myself and give the whole thing a miss?Actually I think I'm just looking for support from you guys in my decision to not go :unsure:

[Joellie]

Hey i can totally see your problem :( It s abig thing to miss your granddaughters christening. I mean if you really cannot handle it sober, but your willing to accept the breakdown after then do that, or if it seems the lesser of 2 evils to have panic instead of a breakdown. Go sober.

I know how you feel though, your not alone, it just depends onhow you feel about not going. And plus if your other half and daughter is ok with your decision then do what you feel is right.

Just think carefully about the reprocussions of your decision, like i said about the lesser of 2 evils. I dont have panic so i cant fully appriciate your situation!

I just had a brain wave tho, my family is very "we want to record everything" with all family events and if you really dont want to go but you dont want to miss out, get someone to film the cerimony and then plan to have a mini celebration with your daughter and stuff later on like a family dinner or something

[kathee]

sober sounds like a good idea considering that alcohol makes anxiety worse ......could you drive them there spending precious time with them in the car then maybe stand right near the door at the church to be able to keep making "little exits" if you need to, and excuse yourself from the after celebrations (this is how i managed with my grandaughter/grandson's christenings) - and found i got so wrapped up in the emotion of it all i did not panic at all !!! and now i am so glad i did not miss them, but at the end of the day you have to do what is right for YOU and I am sure as a much loved member of your family they will be happy with whatever you choose.... x x x x

[fishman65]

Thank you both for your thoughtful answers,there are some very good ideas there.However,being in the middle of a med change and only just trying to emerge from a bad spell,I've decided to stick with my instinct and not go.My daughter is fine with it and besides,I DO have an awful lot to do with my little grandaughter i.e babysitting her three times a week,plus there will be 150+ people there.I just don't want to be tempted into having a drink either,there will be a session at the bar afterwards.But thank you guys for you input,it is very much appreciated and I really do value your opinions.

Take care now, Fishy xx

[Maj]

Hi,

My dad has social anxiety, although he's never really admitted to it!! I know when to invite him to things but also appreciate that sometimes he just won't enjoy it so I don't expect him to go. I would never pressurize him. I'm sure your family will feel the same about you. It's all about respecting people's feelings. If you don't feel up to it don't do it. Yes, I think you should force yourself to overcome some things, but not others. You sound like a really nice, considerate dad and papa anyway. Don't beat yourself up - follow your heart.
Myra:)

[GingGangGoolie]

It's great that your daughter is really understanding of your anxiety. If there is no logical solution for you to go without it affecting your anxiety/health don't feel too bad about missing it. I've been to 2 Christenings in the past and they only lasted about 5 minutes and for both we were sat so far back we couldn't even hear anything.

[shakey1961]

It's probably very late to arrange anything now but one thought I had. Do you have anyone who could be a constant support for you, by your side all the time? I've missed loads of celebrations and events that I would have dearly liked to have been to, but I didn't understand what my problems where.

If you had support from a friend or relative who could drive and maybe think for you and if you want to come home even 1 minute after you arrive and not be judgemental. If I know I have that support/fallback then it takes all the anxiety out of the situation for me.

I hope the Christening goes well and they, and you, have a great day whatever your decision.