Pavlos
31-10-05, 13:24
Well hello to you all.
You may have seen my introduction here: Hello world (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6190). I know all too well how new posts can be covered with a simple search, but I hope this post isn't wasted. I'm looking for advice, but also want to tell my story.
I'm engaged to marry a wonderful woman next year. We've been together for over 8 years now, since we were 16! Some people may think 16 is too young to be staying with someone, but stuff 'em. Anyway, at 16 she was always the life and soul of the party. Wanted to have fun all the time. Life wasn't that good for her at home, always arguing with her parents, but nonetheless she had fun. At eighteen I went off to uni, but with the intention of coming home most weekends. A week into uni her dad was diagnosed with cancer. Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It took over a year of repeated GP visits and tests to discover this, all the while the lump on his neck growing. He was told for months it was merely a swollen salivary gland. It was devastating for her, and made all the more hard by the fact I was away for most of the week for the next two years. Her dad certainly didn't make things easier for her - increased his drinking and smoking, never spoke to her or her mum etc etc.
Anyway, three years pass, I'm back home, but still living with my parents, her with hers. Her dad then has to have a leg amputated due to a foot burn that doesn't heal properly and it turns out the reason for that is he's seriously diabetic, but nobody ever thought to test him for it. We cancel a once in a lifetime trip backpacking round Europe.Well another two years pass, her dad's on insulin injections twice daily, but still drinking half a bottle of scotch a day. We finally decide to get our own place and manage to get a mortgage. Unfortunately, a week after moving in, her dad dies. At the time it felt to all like a huge relief, of course not in a bad way, just that he suffered a hell of a lot. The funeral passed, tears were shed, and my fiancée told me a lot of her grieving had been done over the past 4 years.
It took a year for her to realse that wasn't the case, and she was prescribed fluoxetine. It helped a great deal, not in everything, but most things. We decided she should come off it 6 months ago, and she's been doing OK.
With regards to health anxiety, I didn't even hear of the term until this morning. But I realise now she has suffered from this ever since her dad was diagnosed 6 years ago. She worries about everything in general, and has had the odd panic attack, but the major worry has always been her health. I won't go into examples as they basically match everything people say here, and especially what the Health Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=healthanxiety) page covers. She knows the things she says aren't rational but it doesn't stop her thinking them, and nobody can. She has had a period recently with gastric reflux, which she thought could be stomach cancer, and now that she's on tablets it's a permanent worry about if she'll be OK when she stops the course. She pleads with me to tell her that one day she won't have a single worry in her mind and yearns for that day to come. On top of all this, she's a nurse. I don't know where to go from here as it's getting increasingly difficult.
I've noticed a couple of book recommendations on here, and wonder if there are any more anyone could recommend. Plus, alternative therapies, such as reflexology... any positive stories?
I look forward to speaking to you all.
Paul
You may have seen my introduction here: Hello world (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6190). I know all too well how new posts can be covered with a simple search, but I hope this post isn't wasted. I'm looking for advice, but also want to tell my story.
I'm engaged to marry a wonderful woman next year. We've been together for over 8 years now, since we were 16! Some people may think 16 is too young to be staying with someone, but stuff 'em. Anyway, at 16 she was always the life and soul of the party. Wanted to have fun all the time. Life wasn't that good for her at home, always arguing with her parents, but nonetheless she had fun. At eighteen I went off to uni, but with the intention of coming home most weekends. A week into uni her dad was diagnosed with cancer. Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It took over a year of repeated GP visits and tests to discover this, all the while the lump on his neck growing. He was told for months it was merely a swollen salivary gland. It was devastating for her, and made all the more hard by the fact I was away for most of the week for the next two years. Her dad certainly didn't make things easier for her - increased his drinking and smoking, never spoke to her or her mum etc etc.
Anyway, three years pass, I'm back home, but still living with my parents, her with hers. Her dad then has to have a leg amputated due to a foot burn that doesn't heal properly and it turns out the reason for that is he's seriously diabetic, but nobody ever thought to test him for it. We cancel a once in a lifetime trip backpacking round Europe.Well another two years pass, her dad's on insulin injections twice daily, but still drinking half a bottle of scotch a day. We finally decide to get our own place and manage to get a mortgage. Unfortunately, a week after moving in, her dad dies. At the time it felt to all like a huge relief, of course not in a bad way, just that he suffered a hell of a lot. The funeral passed, tears were shed, and my fiancée told me a lot of her grieving had been done over the past 4 years.
It took a year for her to realse that wasn't the case, and she was prescribed fluoxetine. It helped a great deal, not in everything, but most things. We decided she should come off it 6 months ago, and she's been doing OK.
With regards to health anxiety, I didn't even hear of the term until this morning. But I realise now she has suffered from this ever since her dad was diagnosed 6 years ago. She worries about everything in general, and has had the odd panic attack, but the major worry has always been her health. I won't go into examples as they basically match everything people say here, and especially what the Health Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=healthanxiety) page covers. She knows the things she says aren't rational but it doesn't stop her thinking them, and nobody can. She has had a period recently with gastric reflux, which she thought could be stomach cancer, and now that she's on tablets it's a permanent worry about if she'll be OK when she stops the course. She pleads with me to tell her that one day she won't have a single worry in her mind and yearns for that day to come. On top of all this, she's a nurse. I don't know where to go from here as it's getting increasingly difficult.
I've noticed a couple of book recommendations on here, and wonder if there are any more anyone could recommend. Plus, alternative therapies, such as reflexology... any positive stories?
I look forward to speaking to you all.
Paul