First appointment with the mental health team and now convinced it won't help!

[veebea]

I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety after a very tough few years- my partner left when I was pregnant with a very much planned and wanted baby, I was made redundant while on maternity leave and I generally became a bit of a slave to some odd behaviours around phone calls, opening my mail and having my windows locked shut all the time :wacko:
I've been put on trazodone after a disasterous week on citalopram and I have no doubt that it's been fantastic- it has let me deal with things I otherwise would not have been able to. But the fears are still there, even if the crushing feeling of anxiety isn't. I KNOW noone is going to come and get me. There is no reason to be afraid to open my wondows or my mail. But it has become a problem, so in that respect I know talking to someone would help. I am just really really frightened of opening up to someone, and worried my problem is all in my mind (how silly does that sound, of course it's in my mind :wacko:). The trazodone has taken away the physical feelings of anxiety but I am slightly concerned it has taken me a bit too far out of myself- If I went to therapy I worry that I wouldn't really be 'present' in the room, which would be a problem in itself. I have a lot I am scared to talk about, and I am worried what will be dragged up, even though I know it is talkign about things that is going to help.
Is this a normal way to feel about starting counselling? My appointment is for a week on Monday so I am thinking of trying to work up the nerve to call them this week just for a quick talk to tell them what I am worried about

[Veronica H]

:bighug1: I am sorry that you have had to go through so much, no wonder your anxiety was so severe. It is natural to be a bit nervous about the appointment, and I would ring the team to let them know how you are feeling in order that they can reassure you. You have come this far and you can do this too. let us know how you get on.

Veronica

[Luci-loo]

I don't blame for being nervous or that you won't open up as I felt the same. I couldn't even tell my doctor why I was really anxious and it held me back for so long. I got lucky in that I found a great GP who I could be honest with and once I unloaded to one person I found it so much easier to do it again. The mental health team there to judge and there isn't anything you can say that will shock them.

Glad to hear the trazodone is helping I'm also a recent trazodone convert and even feel like my therapist thinks I'm a fraud as I've improved so much while being on it I feel like she must wonder how I'm now suddenly able to do so much.

[maddie]

Hi. If you don't think you'll be able to open up, I suggest you write out all you feel - or print this post out. Give it to the therapist and it will be a starting point for you to work from without you becoming all tongue tied over it. Good luck.