I'm freaked out by my thoughtS!

[neonpink_smurf]

I know i'm just obsessing over this but i find that writing things out and getting reassurance puts me at ease! I was watching tv the other day and said that this guy was alright looking to my boyfriend and then i got freaked out because i thought he looked like my brother(who died 3 yrs ago), he doesn't, he just had a shaved head and similar build, but i'm obsessed now thinking i'm a freak whos in someway attracted to my brother and it really upsets me. And now its got me thinking about how weird it is that people are attracted to certain people and others to other people and the fact that you love your family yet its not the same love you have for a partner.. and now i'm really scared, nearly in tears as i write this.

[rhowes2000]

Really dont worry about it, a brother is a very close relative so you must of thought a lot of him. Your initial reaction was probably because he looked kind of familiar. There is nothing to worry about.

[mum2four]

You reaction was normal i think. We all look notice poeple that are simular to the one we love and notice even more so tha poeple that we have loved and lost. Your reaction to thinking the person you like is nice looking and your connection to you brother is just a spike. A spike is a thought or pictuer that flash threw your head every one gets them but most people ignore as thay hold significance to them. When you pay attenstion to spike and get all worked up about you put a marker on that spike and you brain wil attach you feeling at the time to spike and it will keep bugging you till you started to tell your self the spike is not real it's not who i am. Having a buge think session over why you had the thought is very bad and will increase the intencity for next time it flashes threw your head. I read that by saing something stupid about the spike like in you case maybe saying Well i love maybe I'm even kiss him(just something that you will never do) by saying something you would never do it silly up front mannar is meant to desenceatise you to the spike and it will stop bothering you. I can relate to what I read the other day about spike and how to tackle them cause My partner will alway make a silly comment when i tell him I just had image of something that scares me like when I pick a knife up and an image of stabbing some one close to at the time and he'll say "just stab them and get it over with and then we can get on with what were doing. he dose it with a smile and it makes my fear go away and the the thought I wopuld never stab anyone flash three my head in stead. But if he's in grumpy mood and he makes a coment like that it dosn't tend to work as well as I walk away from but it dose change my thinking in my head to how rude he not nice and I forget about why he said it in the frist place any way. Shouting STOP at your spikes is very bad it's to put a maker on the spike.

I hope ypou will at least try to what i have augested even if you feel it's silly cause it has alway worked for me and the spikes that i would alway shout stop at ot think about sot so bad that i could longer move when i had them so please get this undercontrol now. Your thought is normal and reaction is normal we all long to have a loved one back. I see a person that reminds me of my nana get the same worm fuzzy feelling that she all way gave I dont stress that it really isn't my nana I just sit for a while a think How much i wish she was still here to hug and talk to. If I was to start to think I'm disrepecting my nana (or something negative) because i thought that were her for 2 second's then if would no longer feel nice to know that people out there can keep my happy memorys alive and clear.

[nomorepanic]

You probably saw him and thought of your brother. That is all it was - a "thought". It doesn't mean you fancy him or anything.

You were probably just remembering him hence the tears.

Hope you feel better now.

Nicola

[christian]

If you were making this remark to your boyfriend then it already sounds as if you didn't really fancy him so much anyway. Sometimes what we say is just junk to fill the air anyway. We can sort are words and thought as we please and get rid of what is not of use. Our minds love to make pictures. Its how we make sense of our lives but not all of them you want to hang on your wall.

People are curious creatures. We go through life as we choose.

[eeyorelover]

I have 2 brothers that I think have turned into the most handsome men!!! It definitely doesn't mean that I want to date them and you didn't mean it that way either. But that is the trick that a worriers mind will try to play on you!!! The problem is that you had this simple harmless thought and then your mind spun it around again and again until you started to convince yourself that there was something wrong with it. Which there isn't.
It is the same as when a woman can say to our spouse or whatever " oh she's really pretty" and not mean that we are turning into a lesbian. Not that there is anything wrong with that but.. you get what I mean.

Sandy
(eeyorelover)

If the world didn't suck... we'd all fall off :)

[neonpink_smurf]

Thanks everyone for reassuring me, i feel better about that now but now i'm being preoccupied by something else and its going to sound like the stupidest thing and i'm embarrassed and ashamed! I get scared when i'm kissing someone on the cheek or lips (thats not my b/f) that i'm going to like proper kiss them and embarrass myself even if its a relation, i know this sounds loopy but i feel so embarrassed and ashamed about it i can't apeak to anyone else.
thanks

[rachy_babyx]

i have this problem as well
the other day i went to kiss my mum on the cheek and she lent in the wrong way and caught her on the lips, i felt really ill afterwards and now hate to kiss anyone in case

i found a few hours of teeth brushing and a few hours in the shower helped lol