Doubting myself in dating and work

[phil06]

I just feel scared in dating these days. I've been doing it for two years and the anxiety has just got worse same with finding new jobs.

I have an intense fear about not liking the person, have crazy intrusive thoughts like a woman could be a man because I heard about Lady Gaga. Any woman that's masculine scares me incase there not into people like myself. I know it's crazy at the back of my head I want to see clearly. I know it's highly unlikely but my head says "What If I don't get turned on" "What if people say shes not like a woman". This kind of spurs off my OCD/HOCD and stuff.

When it comes to work I've applied to admin jobs. I'm running scared of call centre work because it would require too much talking. I have worked in shops and you don't need to talk as much. Like I have done call centre work about five years ago but walked out for other reasons. Never lasted long enough to truly sample the job. So it's rooted to fearing of going manic depressed. I fear that so it's got this anxiety above.

I'd describe my thoughts as "far out" and pulling me back from living a normal life. I don't know why i get these now the thing is I go look at any woman is she female..I say yes. When it comes to dating the last couple of dates I've had I've worried she's not feminine enough in the face. I had this issue a few years back but it was one in 10 now almost every woman I'm like "is she really a woman" "is she right for me". I'm also scared of lower class like I'm not posh but the whole cheap, letting myself go lifestyle scares the crap out of me.

I guess I want to be respectable but it's hard to find the line between what I'm capable of and what's good for me. It's all doubt doubt doubt. At the moment I have flu so I'm terrified it's swine flu ect.. that's how crazy my mind works. It hangs on these thoughts and tries to stop me. So like I avoid everything. It wants reassurance and in the end I can't turn down every job and date because of anxiety.

I know these anxiety thoughts are utter rubbish and I'm annoyed but there's that little niggling doubt trying to hold me down. :blush:

The thing is it all started as panic, negative thoughts and I let it Mount to OCD with stress. This is the danger when it starts at first it's stuff like fear of dying, fear of faining then when you realise no I'm fine it moves onto other stuff. The problem is the anxiety's never left me so it's managed to take over my life. I use to avoid the cinema in fear I'd faint, have a big panic attack now I fear being in public in case I get flu, get embarrassed. I still go out, I stay in the situation however when I'm home I feel guilty, silly, ruminating thoughts cycle my head, try and beat me up to a point I feel desperate. I'm posting here as I'm worried, why am I getting these thoughts. I feel weak for letting it carry on this long.

It's such an obscure list but there's stuff I avoid, won't to because of ANXIETY! I can't let anxiety to that can I? :shrug:

[phil06]

I'm in a bit of a panic at the moment. I had a job interview by phone today and was unsuccessful just feel doomed. Applied to another 6 but feel it's hopeless. I feel I'm going crazy as I've applied to like 25 since Monday.

I feel so weak and stressed. :weep:

[suzy-sue]

Sorry you are feeling so low at the moment Phil .When you think how many people must be applying for jobs at the moment ,you did well to even get an interview .Your trying hard and thats good .Dont be disheartened ,I know its hard ,but the ones who persevere get results in the end .Im sure you will have better luck eventually .What sort of company does interviews on the phone anyway ?? sounds a bit sus to me ...Good luck with the other jobs youve applied for .Try to enjoy your evening .Luv Sue xx:hugs:

[phil06]

Sorry you are feeling so low at the moment Phil .When you think how many people must be applying for jobs at the moment ,you did well to even get an interview .Your trying hard and thats good .Dont be disheartened ,I know its hard ,but the ones who persevere get results in the end .Im sure you will have better luck eventually .What sort of company does interviews on the phone anyway ?? sounds a bit sus to me ...Good luck with the other jobs youve applied for .Try to enjoy your evening .Luv Sue xx:hugs:

Thanks it was a call centre but it was nerve racking as it was all sales experience I never had. Just feel really unlucky at the moment been trying for a job for 10 months hoping to get something positive soon as I don't want to walk out my current job.

[Maj]

Hi,

I feel sorry for anyone looking for a job at the moment. It must be soul-destroying. But you never know what's round the corner. Also, remember, these are only THOUGHTS, they cannot harm you or anyone else. They are triggered by pure anxiety and if you try and relax and accept them when they happen they won't make you feel as anxious as time goes on. Acceptance is the key. Good luck with the job hunting.
Myra:yesyes:

[phil06]

I'm still not having any luck. I feel an intense pressure on finding a new job the last few weeks and I've applied to about 25+ now. I feel quite desperate and hopeless. Like Christmas is about two months off and I know it's a quiet time. Plus I want out this job as I hate the people I work with plus the anxiety I get. Plus I've been close t o walking out at my job and I don't want to go back to the job centre unemployed. Plus everybody around me is getting jobs easily yet I am struggling really hard. One even got offered a job I recommended which made me feel worse as I also applied.

My adrenaline is quite high at the moment. Like I've been waking up feeling sickly and had an intense fear of going mad plus institute thoughts. It's annoying as these "clouded" feels can last weeks for me. Because I'm over trying my anxiety says "I'm losing the plot." Like the days feel long when I'm like this..plus it's annoying me not getting a job.

Is it all anxiety making me feel this on the edge? :shrug:

[Maj]

Hi,

Sounds like you're caught in vicious circle of being down and anxious and not liking your job will make it feel worse. You have to turn a corner at some point, you won't always feel like this. Try and stick your job out hard as it is. You'll have a better chance on your c.v. if you can say you're working at the moment. Don't do anything too rash. If people bug you at work go to the toilet, close the door, and calm yourself by doing a few deep breaths.:yahoo: Don't worry about the thoughts, they're only there because you feel so down just now and your brain is tired. Take each day as it comes. Do something nice for yourself.:hugs:
Myra

[Ladychenet]

Hi, i share your problems with trying to find and job and one that is not going to entail too much talking, i am currently appling for admin work, and have struggled to get a job in the last three years, i have done some agency work and templing, but i work myself up soo much, b4 the interview, i could burst, or pass out, i spend time refreshing myself with skills from days gone by, only becasue this is what they ask for on the profile, then im in their and wish i could be given some trigger to remind me of what ive just gone through, aaahhh, im just not imaginitive enough to make somthing soo boaring sound interesting, how do you find you cope with interviews,

[Ladychenet]

Just another point with the dating, im not too bad, with this only i do find it hard work thinking what is best to say, so from being an anxiety surrerer who over thinks, i sit like a lemon, and find it hard to have or hold an interesting conversation, and if i go on a date with some one who also is no good at chatting , well you can imagin what a scream that is lol, sorry but i make a joke but it is very anoying, can i ask have you ever gone to any of the group sessions that this org offers?, ive not heard of any where i am, how about you?

[phil06]

Hi,

Sounds like you're caught in vicious circle of being down and anxious and not liking your job will make it feel worse. You have to turn a corner at some point, you won't always feel like this. Try and stick your job out hard as it is. You'll have a better chance on your c.v. if you can say you're working at the moment. Don't do anything too rash. If people bug you at work go to the toilet, close the door, and calm yourself by doing a few deep breaths.:yahoo: Don't worry about the thoughts, they're only there because you feel so down just now and your brain is tired. Take each day as it comes. Do something nice for yourself.:hugs:
Myra

Thanks for the advice.

I'm struggling bad it gets me down. I duno I have been to the pub which has helped. All I hear is people round about me getting job's easy and I'm on my tenth month.

Had another massive disappointment today by going for an interview, they said if I got it I'd start tomorrow..but nah I've got another interview though.

Soul destroying is the word. I want so much for myself but it's so hard, the last three weeks I've just had an urge to change jobs and applied to so many more so I don't walk out. I feel I can't take my current job anymore and need to change jobs.

Like all year I've been hanging onto past positivity and the disappointment this year has really brought me down. It's horrible when you feel it's a waste of time going to interviews and dates. I'm quite upset as I'm a good worker, had no days off since I started my job over a year ago. It's nerve racking and hard to get interviews at the best of times..

It's soo difficult but it's really got me, I hate it when things get me this way. :weep: It's worse when your head says it's my bad luck. You can only make so many excuses about unemployment. Being able to apply and people around me getting jobs easy that's got me. :blush:

For the last three weeks it's been constant on my mind it's new job new job...and I can't relax. It's always there at the back feel I'm going mad.