Please help - scared about ultrasound I had done..anxiety is out of control over it

[kitn77]

Hello I came across this site and I'd like to say it's wonderful. I'm really hoping I can get some support and insight on here as I feel so alone right now. I'm 32, female and married

I have suffered from anxiety for about 6 years now, recently the health anxiety part has gotten worse. I"m constantly obsessed over my health and petrified of dying, especially getting cancer and leaving my husband. I have been to the Doctors countless times over the past few years and I've rarely had anything wrong, or that was life threatening. Recently I got severe chest pain and a cough, I thought I had lung cancer for sure, I got into such a panic attack that I begged my Husband to take me to the hospital. I was sure it was either lung cancer or a heart attack. They did tests and it was all normal. That has since gone off. Then I started having pains on my left side in my pelvic area and frequent urination. Straight away my heart was racing and I got in a cold sweat - I thought it's ovarian cancer for sure. I went to the Gynaecologist, she didn't think it was anything major from her examination but sent me for an ultrasound to check things out. I went for that this morning and I asked the Sonographer if she could tell me anything (she didn't) and my leg was shaking as I was lying on the table I was PETRIFIED. She seemed to spend a long time looking and that made me even more scared. She said the results probably won't be back till Monday. Ikeep trying to tell myself that I eat well, I'm healthy, exercise daily and look after myself with no family history of cancer but it only lasts a short while and I'm back to worrying.

How am i going to cope till then? I'm so scared, I can't eat or think straight. My husband thinks I"m overreacting and thinks I shouldn't worry until I need to, but I can't stop. How have you all coped with waiting? I would really appreciate any advice, thank you.

[Amanda_27]

Hi there Kitn77, I sympathise so much with what you are going through, I really do. I have suffered from panic attacks and anxiety problems since I was a teenager but in later years my anxiety has focused on my health, and like you, it is always cancer. Infact, in the past week, I have had ovarian cancer, stomach cancer, lung cancer. I was rushed to hospital earlier this year with breathlessness and chest pains absolutely convinced that I was having a heart attack but after various tests the doctor rather curtly informed me that it was just anxiety or a pulled muscle. He also really made me feel like I had wasted his time. I did have a "real" cancer scare this year after finding a lump in my throat. I have had two ultrasounds and biopsies and so far everything has come back clear. I need to have biopsies every six months because where the lump is situated, it is too risky to remove at the moment, the consultant said it would have to be a last resort to have surgery to remove it. I am absolutely petrified of dying, I have horrible thoughts every single day at the moment where I am just gripped by fear at the thought of it. I am trying as best as I can to be more positive but unfortunately the thoughts seem to win through. When I was waiting for the first biopsy result I didn't really worry at all until the night before I went for my result. I just completely broke down and kept saying to my partner that tomorrow I would find out if I had cancer or not. I was completely distraught; the following day after getting the reassuring news that I didn't have cancer you would think I would have been so happy, but I wasn't and that's when my health anxiety really took hold. I am sorry, feel like I haven't really given you any advice but I do completely understand how you are feeling and sometimes getting it off your chest and talking to others can help a little. I really feel for you because I can completely identify with you
Take Care and let me know when you get your results, I wish you all the best :hugs:

[kitn77]

Hi Amanda

Thanks for your reply, it's nice to know I'm not alone. I just don't know how I'm gonna get thru these next few days. I really just want to try and be positive and put it out of my mind and keep busy. I'm still plagued by fear and terror but worrying won't change any outcome so I guess I just have to wait it out, keep busy and hope for the best but I'm petrified. I just hope the results come back ok.

Thank you and all the best to you!

[Amanda_27]

I know, it is so so hard to be positive. I always tell myself every morning that I am going to be more positive today and let the anxiety wash right over me but it never happens. I keep saying to my partner that I am going to have worried my life away! If I live to a ripe old age and don't get any form of cancer (touch wood) I am going to look back on my life and think what a waste, I worried my entire life for nothing. I don't want to be like that, I truly want to get better and for these problems to go away but it is so difficult, especially the physical symptoms of living with anxiety. I feel so guilty sometimes, I have a nice house, three gorgeous children and a wonderful partner, why can't I just be happy? I really hope your test results come back okay, I will be thinking of you. Do let me know how you get on
Take Care
Amanda x

[AndyB07]

Kitn, the horrible thing about waiting for results is that there is very little that anyone can say to anxious people like us to calm us until we get the all clear. You seem to be telling yourself the right things, such as that your age and history are all on your side. Please don't read anything into what the Sonographer was doing - you'd soon complain if you thought she wasn't taking her time over you! If she did tell you anything she would get a broadside from the Specialist, it's not her place to deliver results. In the event that there is some physical cause to your symptoms, there are so many possible causes, so if you want to think of it another way, try to tell yourself: "what are the odds of it being cancer? VERY LOW." And that's even if there is anything wrong!

Like you seem to have done, I switch worrying from one thing to another (usually cancer, currently MS), so I'm having CBT, admittedly with limited results, but some people find it very useful. In the meantime, try to distract yourself as much as possible this weekend, and good luck with the results.

All the best, Andy

[kitn77]

Amanda - I know I too don't want to look back and think I've wasted time doing this (worrying and stressing) when I could have been enjoying it with my Husband, family/friends. It's just such a hard habit to break. If I get the all clear this time, I definitely want to try harder as I'm so sick of this. I also have terrible nightmares a lot and it makes me so tired and worn out, to me that is not living life properly. I understand what you mean when you say about all that you have and why can't you be happy? I feel the same. I have a wonderful Husband, family, friends, a lovely apartment in a great city, I'm studying for my dream career and yet I'm like this..I believe it's because I"m sooooooo scared of my "perfect life" falling down around me that I can't be happy but that is silly because by doing this I'm doing just that..so I need to try harder. I've almost got through today and I found out that my results may be in late tomorow afternoon so I'm hoping so, but even if they aren't I have to be strong and enjoy my weekend and try not to be anxious.

Andy807 - thank you for your advice and encouragement, that really did help me a bit. I tend to go from one thing to another too and I've had MS (or so I thought when it was merely panic and anxiety) more times than I can remember, I pictured myself blind, alone and in a wheelchair and it would send my anxiety thru the roof. Now when I get those symptoms I have actually managed to accept it's anxiety, god knows how but through sheer persistance and patience from my husband and me believing it's anxiety for once, I know. I just wish I could do it with this!

[Rod]

Waiting on results can be can be very difficult. The Sonographer would of spent time looking to make sure she got good clear shots for the doctor to see. Unfortuantely in our sensitised state we always see the worst.

[AndyB07]

It's brilliant that your husband is supportive, I'm lucky that way with my wife too, and it makes things a lot easier.....let us know when you get the all clear!

[kitn77]

I rang up this morning at 10am here and they took my name and number at the Doctors, and it's now 1pm and Ive heard nothing..they were quite abrupt on the phone. I'm going to ring again before they close at 5pm. I don't get why these people that work in medical have to be so cold and rude. It's bad enough when you are going out of your mind waiting for results but to then get attitude on top of it. I've been in tears just now, a) from the worry and b) just from sheer annoyance the way people behave. I keep trying to remind myself that I probably would have heard something by now if it were sinister results, but I get this horrible feeling I will be waiting till next Monday to get my results..just have to try and cope and get through it with a brave face I guess. My husband is great though and he said to me today "lets just have a nice weekend together" and that is what I want to try and have without any anxiety.

[kitn77]

I got my results just now, the nurse was very nice and got them put thru so I could enjoy my weekend.

The ultrasound was perfect, all normal with no problems. Must have been the dreaded I.B.S and anxiety. My anxiety has gone right down now and I can smile at last :). Hopefully next time if an issue comes up I can handle it better.

Thanks for your support on here, it helped me get thru.

[Panic33]

Great news :)

[SleeplessFog]

Yay! So happy for you! :hugs:

[Cell block H fan]

Lovely feeling when you get that proper reassurance isn't it! xxx

[kitn77]

yes it is, it really puts your mind at rest and allows you to relax. I could just cry right now with relief..I had myself so pent up with dread that I had ovarian cancer..thank god it wasn't!

[Cell block H fan]

yes it is, it really puts your mind at rest and allows you to relax. I could just cry right now with relief..I had myself so pent up with dread that I had ovarian cancer..thank god it wasn't!

I remember having an ultrasound scan for that, then I was sent to see a bowel specialist & was told I had I.B.S I went in there in a right state, even the receptionist came & told me it wouldn't be long, when me & my partner were waiting in the waiting room, I must of looked a right state! Then I came out after like the cat that got the cream!! The pain subsided 10 fold, within minutes! After a couple of days it was gone. I had got myself so worked up for weeks that I was in agony! My muscles had got so tense it took those couple of days to un knot them! Thats the first time I realised the power of the mind in all its glory! lol :yesyes:

[AndyB07]

Wonderful news, nice of them to get you the results so quickly...enjoy your weekend!

[Maj]

Aw that's great news. What a weight off your shoulder. Relax now and enjoy your weekend!:yesyes:
Myra