accepting that this is me and living with it.

[claire m]

i have suffered from anxiety and depression for years now i have tried many different medications and was hospitalized some years ago for it, i am currently having cbt too,
It is making me think alot about how i am, I look in the mirror and its like i dont recognise me anymore i look different and i feel different, i have been like this for so long i feel maybe this is me this is how it is.
What i think i need to do is accept that it is part of me and ask my therapist to help me accept this and how do live my life being this way and forget about trying to change it and just how to manage it instead.

[PanicOver!!]

Hi Claire

On CBT myself at the moment and thats what i have been working on and i must say i feel a lot better
I think fighting the anxiety all the time is draining and makes it worse, i am learning to accept i have these bad days and since i have they have definatley become less intense, its almost as if the anxiety is giving up because its not getting to me
Hope that makes sense

X

[suzy-sue]

Thats very true ,accept that you are anxious ,the more you fight it the worse it gets ,Ive done this for months and now the anxiety is less and it doesnt affect what I can do anymore .I used to avoid most things which took me out of my comfort zone ,and Id have constant panic/anxiety attacks all day long .Not any more ..Good luck ,im sure it will help you .Luv Sue xx:hugs:

[Mandylou]

:flowers: Hi I feel the same - I feel like I don't know me anymore or if I'm honest I don't think I have ever grown and developed into me. I have always been as other people want me to be even now - when I do show the real me my family don't like it so I have to keep on pretending I'm someone i'm not. I suffer with depression and I think a lot of it is because I feel people don't know the real me - even I don't know the real me anymore. I don't seem to have a personality or particular character. I accept what people say I am or behave how people want me to. The only way out is for me to leave everyone I love and go on a self discovery venture but I'm too afraid to leave my comfort zone and then I will be afraid of what people will think of me! I have just realised that this in itself is a form of anxiety yet if asked I would say I don't suffer from anxiety. Now I can see how the two are linked and realised that perhaps I suffer from both. I wish I could disappear sometimes . . . :weep:

[PanicOver!!]

I think its natural to put on a "show" for others its how we make friends and im sure they do the same
The only thing we really need is one person we can "tell all" to which i can seem to do with my CBT councilor, dont know who to "vent off" or discuss "deep" issues with once my CBT stops
All my friends and family only know the "me" i want them to and its hard work keeping all the different people happy
x

[claire m]

thanks guys. marc you are so right about showing the real me its difficult i always have my happy face on but inside im dying. i have no one apart from the therapist who i can really open up to.

[Downsinthenorth]

Hi claire m

Your post really struck a chord with me because it's made me realise that I have a real problem accepting that I am prone to anxiety and depression, and that this is (for me) almost certainly a permanent state of affairs. As you have written, a really important part of dealing with these issues is manage the symptoms, and not to try and change aspects of yourself that are inherent. I am starting to look at managing my symptoms, but I find coming to terms with my illness really really difficult, possibly the hardest part. Although it's not sensible, I feel really angry with myself and the way I behave, which wastes a lot of energy, is demoralising and doesn't achieve anything constructive. :curse:

Thanks for helping.

Downsinthenorth

[PanicOver!!]

thanks guys. marc you are so right about showing the real me its difficult i always have my happy face on but inside im dying. i have no one apart from the therapist who i can really open up to.

Hi Claire

If you ever need to vent off feel free to PM me