Frustrated.

[Michey]

Hi all, Hope you dont mind me having an offload here.. I was all set to go stay with my boyfriend today as it is his daughters birthday, was all set to go out for dinner then on to a club etc... It didn't happen for me. Had all my bag packed about to get into the car and ran back indoors. My stomach was in knots, i was heaving, sweating, shakey. I know im not going to die and this is something i can overcome,, but for now, it's ruining my life and others around me. I have to rely on so many people to help me, i feel useless, Ive made another appointment to see the doc tomorrow, i just feel i want him to lock me up somewhere and throw away the key.. I feel ive lost all control of my body and it's driving me mad, it's taken over my life and i cant get out of it.. Ive been told to see a counsellor but could take months for an appointment, i cant wait that long im becoming a hermit.. I am fine when im at home, i can take the kids to school and go shopping etc... i just cant go anywhere unfamiliar to me. Well that's my offload, i just wanna overcome and beat this.


Michelle

[rick]

HI Michelle

Sorry its so rough right now, but at least you came to the right place! Offload all you want. What you're feeling is the same as all of us have felt at one time or another. I know there were times when I also wished I could be locked up to get away from all of this.

The anxiety - panic attack monster is a tough character to beat, but, HE CAN BE BEATEN! It takes time, and lots of work, but you can do it!

You are lucky, since it seems you have people that you can rely on. There is no shame in that. I know I just about wore my friends and the folks on this board out! But, the great thing is, folks are a lot more understanding than we give them credit for.

Sorry that it will be a while to xee a counselor, but it will be worh it. Meanwhile, there are several sections here on the site that have lots of infomration and coping aids. For me, the things that helped the most were keeping busy, talking(or writing on this board), and slowly facing the fears I had, one step at a time.

Also, and to me, the most important, is to look inside yourself and try to find what is triggering all of this. If you are anything like me, you will find that there are things that have been stuffed deep inside that have finally reached teh bursting point, hence the anxiety, fear, and panic attacks. It can be painful, but looking deep inside is one of the major keys in overcoming this. True, this is where a couselor comes in handy, but, if you can find someone to work with you on this, - friend, relative, clergy, old lady on the bench feeding pigeons, or, the folks on this site, I promise you things will slowly begin to get better.

It is a slow process, but it can be done!! Take care, and don't give up!

Rick



It is better to be a free bird than a captive king...

[Trev]

Hi Michelle,

sorry to hear you are going through it.

I was in the same sort of state as you about a year ago. I feel pretty much fine now. So you can come through it as well. It's important you know that I believe. :)

I got to the same not wanting to leave the house stage and having panic attacks all the time as you.
All I can say is that once you have educated yourself on what's happening to you then you have to try and accept it and go with it. I know how horrendous it feels. Try to rest when you are really bad but then do try and do things when you get the chance. Doing things is the only way you can gain back the confidence which has been so eroded.

Have you read Claire Weekes at all? She produced a few books which explain it all perfectly. Meg does a course on CD as well which I'd also recommend.
This forum is an excellent resource and place for support from people who know what you are going through.

So, TRY and accept. Do things. See friends, however **** you feel. Please do not stay in the house. It may feel like it helps short term but long term will only serve to entrench the problem. Accept it's going to take a little time. According to Claire Weekes it can take 3 months to de-sensitise a body even with TOTAL acceptance. And she says few people totally accept at first.

All the best,
Trev :)