momof2
02-11-05, 13:41
Hi all,
My name is Terri Lynn and I'am a 35yo mom of two very beautiful children. I'am a nurse (LPN) and I'am working on my bachelor's degree in nursing, or at least I was until all of this anxiety came crashing in on me. Lately I've just spent alot of time in bed with the covers pulled up over my head praying that these palpitations and racing heart doesn't do me in. I have woken up as many as 4x per night with heart racing up to 170's. During the day my legs feel like jello and I'am so dizzy that I have to hold onto the walls just for balance. So the bedroom is usually where I stay. I guess I should explain what I think is the reason all of this is happening to me. Back in Aug. I hurt my back at the hospital where I work helping to lift a patient. I herniated a disk and had sciatic nerve compression, UGH!! Then one of my brothers (come from a family of six, very close nit) has been told that he has a mass in his lung that they suspect is cancer and are only giving him six months to live. He had throat cancer back in 2003 and with the help of the good Lord went into remission. Then the worst happened, just three weeks ago, my precious sister only 52yo died suddenly while sitting at home watching television. They think she had a massive heart attack. She practically raised me, I just miss her sooo much. EVERYONE who knew her loved her, she was one of the most kind and giving persons I know. Not to mention the fact that she literally spoiled me and my kids rotten always bringing us something but mostly just loving us with a passion.
On the same day we buried her my 4yo son broke two bones in his leg, jumping on the trampoline and is in a cast up to his thigh. So, life hasn't been the greatest, but I know it could always be worse. The hardest part for me is my 7yo watches me like a hawk and everytime I have a panic attack, she will ask, "Mommy are you going to die like my aunt Linda?" This horrifes me. What am I doing to her , mentally? I have to get help, if only for the sake of my kids. My dr prescribed me Xanax and Ativan to see which one helps, and neither really do .I'm afraid to take them most of the time, so when I do I only end up panicking worse. I'm sorry this is so depressing, but I really appreciate a place where I can get this off of my chest. It's hard for me to talk about to others because after all, I'm a nurse ,I'm supposed to be the one helping and caring for people. I'm supposed to be strong, right? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks again.
My name is Terri Lynn and I'am a 35yo mom of two very beautiful children. I'am a nurse (LPN) and I'am working on my bachelor's degree in nursing, or at least I was until all of this anxiety came crashing in on me. Lately I've just spent alot of time in bed with the covers pulled up over my head praying that these palpitations and racing heart doesn't do me in. I have woken up as many as 4x per night with heart racing up to 170's. During the day my legs feel like jello and I'am so dizzy that I have to hold onto the walls just for balance. So the bedroom is usually where I stay. I guess I should explain what I think is the reason all of this is happening to me. Back in Aug. I hurt my back at the hospital where I work helping to lift a patient. I herniated a disk and had sciatic nerve compression, UGH!! Then one of my brothers (come from a family of six, very close nit) has been told that he has a mass in his lung that they suspect is cancer and are only giving him six months to live. He had throat cancer back in 2003 and with the help of the good Lord went into remission. Then the worst happened, just three weeks ago, my precious sister only 52yo died suddenly while sitting at home watching television. They think she had a massive heart attack. She practically raised me, I just miss her sooo much. EVERYONE who knew her loved her, she was one of the most kind and giving persons I know. Not to mention the fact that she literally spoiled me and my kids rotten always bringing us something but mostly just loving us with a passion.
On the same day we buried her my 4yo son broke two bones in his leg, jumping on the trampoline and is in a cast up to his thigh. So, life hasn't been the greatest, but I know it could always be worse. The hardest part for me is my 7yo watches me like a hawk and everytime I have a panic attack, she will ask, "Mommy are you going to die like my aunt Linda?" This horrifes me. What am I doing to her , mentally? I have to get help, if only for the sake of my kids. My dr prescribed me Xanax and Ativan to see which one helps, and neither really do .I'm afraid to take them most of the time, so when I do I only end up panicking worse. I'm sorry this is so depressing, but I really appreciate a place where I can get this off of my chest. It's hard for me to talk about to others because after all, I'm a nurse ,I'm supposed to be the one helping and caring for people. I'm supposed to be strong, right? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks again.