Don't feel I have the 'right' to be like this.

[annabanana]

Hi everyone,

I first suffered from depression and anxiety 4yrs and succesfully recovered through counselling (was also on anti-depressants but feel the counselling did more for me). After a weird virus a couple of months, I have developed health anxiety for which I've seen my GP and am on busprione until my review next week.

My main thought at the moment (aside from the health worries!) is that I don't have the 'right' or reason to feel like I feel and think the way I think. Unlike some people I read about on this site, I had a happy upbringing, I have a loving family, parents are still together, never had any major illnesses (touch wood!) and I keep asking myself why should this affect me?! I've got no 'right' to have these problems. Almost in a 'why me?' kinda way but also because I can't find my 'trigger'. Four years ago, it started after I qualified as a midwife and starting working...I only practised for 2mths before going off sick for 4mths, then I resigned and haven't done it since. This time, it was the weird virus. Although some people have suggested that maybe watching my parents lose a business ( I was working there) and being made redundant may have had an impact but I never really thought of this...again, why should it affect me like this? I only lost my job, my parents lost their business and their financial security and will have to move etc.

I suppose all these feelings of guilt are all part of it...

[Gazman]

tbh there's no right or wrong reason when it comes to suffering from human emotions.

If ur anxious ur anxious, if ur depressed ur depressed etc etc.

You are who you are, and nothing can change that, different things affect different people all differently, we're all unique, we may suffer from the same symptoms, or completely different unusual symptoms but the fact is we all suffer from some form of anxiety or depression or whatever.

You might not have found your trigger or root cause yet but eventually u will, doesn't matter that u had a good up bringing, bcuz it could be something completely different, especially as u refer to your family, so ur obviously thinking it's got something to do with your family. Maybe your looking in the wrong place?

I had a wierd virus that lasted nearly a month and that seemed to trigger my HA too, it also seemed to snowball into everything else i've now got going on.

Chin up and take care - Gaz