View Full Version : I could really do with some advice and help
Hi everyone
I am going through a really difficult time right now with my health anxiety. I have had bad episodes with it in the past but this time is the worst I have ever imagined it could be and I am struggling to make sense to myself.
It all started with bouts of dizziness several weeks ago which then disappeared for a few weeks and returned a couple of weeks ago. I had been to a wedding reception on Saturday night and had a few drinks, the next day I had the worst headache imaginable (mainly concentrated to the left) and felt so dizzy (much more than a normal 'hangover'), I ended up seeing the out of hours GP and they said I had fluid behind my left ear and gave me some antibiotics and a nasal spray. I know that by having a few drinks I have ruined by nervous system and before I saw the GP I was having a full on panic attack, worse than I have ever experienced before.
I have then seen my own GP as I have been struggling to sleep, they prescribed me some light dose Amitriptyline and I slept lovely last night. I also said that I had been feeling tremors in my body and didn't feel with it (kind of withdrawn from myself) and whilst they firmly said they didnt think it was anything serious they referred me to a neurologist on a non-urgent basis to be safe and put my mind at ease, I rang today and the appointment isn't until December! which totally scared me.
Combined with this I tried to return to work today as I felt a little better but after being there a short while I had the worst dizziness come over me and the headaches got worse (on the left) and I feel sick again - I had to leave work.
I am totally petrified that this is something more serious like a brain tumour and that is what is causing the feelings I am having. I cannot stop thinking about it and I feel so alone it's unbelievable as no-one else can understand how I am feeling.
I would really appreciate some support from like minded people, Mark
I've suffered dizziness n headaches from anxiety and I have also thought it was something wrong with my brain - I think the anxiety doesn't let you see the far more likely (usually nothing/anxiety) and always think of the worse. If you are how I have been with health anxiety, you do believe no-one else understands and that its is defo the worst outcome and even death - this is just the anxiety. I bet the less you worry (easier said than done I know) the less you will have headache or dizzy spells.
Thanks for the reply, I am more worried because the headache is in the same place most of the time (the left, the same side that has fluid behind my ear).
I hate the twitching as-well, it makes me think I have a tumour or some brain disease. I really don't feel with it too, sometimes I feel like I'm forgetting things.
I am going mad with worry. I just wish I had people to talk to who understood more, I am convinced I am going to be terminally ill or something
You sound so much like me :( It breaks my heart reading your posts because I know what it is like to feel so alone. What I will say is that if your doctor susepcted something as sinister as what you think you have,he would have sent for tests straight away,not make you wait to december. I know what I say probably wont help much,anxiety always shouts the loudest,but I am sure you are okay mister
xxx
SleeplessFog
16-10-09, 20:57
Hi Mark,
I too have bouts of dizziness that came on suddenly. I had to go to a neurologist similar to what you have to do. I assure you that having a little fun at a wedding did not ruin your nervous system.
I have an inner ear problem caused by fluid as well. I am working with my doctor to get rid of it, but I was scared much like you. I had trouble speaking, I would forget words, I had tremendous right side of head pain (my affected ear is on the right mostly).
The twitching I would get as well...that is what scared the crap out of me. Turns out it is just fatigue from the inner ear issue. The nerve that is affected is what helps you stand up during the day, so when its not right, you are basically forcing yourself to stand up all the time, that gets extremely tiring.
Have you had a chance to look into seeing an ENT? Do you have vertigo/spinning?
When I first had my dizziness, I thought I was going to die, or my head was going to explode or something. I had my very first panic attacks shortly after my first dizziness episode. I have anxiety on and off, but it has lessened since I know this is not serious or life threatening. I couldn't sleep for a long time because of it, but I have been working on it.
I believe they would have fit you in with the neurologist way sooner if they thought you had something very wrong with you.
You are not alone there are many people here you can sound off/rant to.:D
Thank you so much for the replies, in particular sleeplessfog - I am rather relived somewhat to hear a similar story to mine.
I've never had the panic attacks before but now I just feel ruined and like crying (been doing that a lot over the past couple of days and it's not very manly!), to put it bluntly I am a mental mess right now! I know for sure that I would relax more if someone were to rule out anything that makes me terminally ill or potentially terminally ill, I am scared to death of the big C, even to listen to or write the word is awful. It's not the first time I have convinced myself I have a tumour somewhere.
I just feel disorientated and dizzy, not sure if that's vertigo or not. The headaches can be so painful, more than I have ever experienced before. I may go back to my doctors next week and explain your circumstances sleeplessfog, as they sound so, so similar. My neck also feels stiff (anxiety) and twitches a bit, maybe tension though - I get the twitches in my legs and arms too.
Thanks again for the support from people, it's great to hear from those who DO understand.
SleeplessFog
16-10-09, 22:07
My ENT told me that vertigo doesn't have to be spinning. I felt floaty...lightheaded...off balance...out of it. They diagnosed me with labyrinthitis.I would also get a tense neck from the lightheadedness...because I would tense up trying not to fall over!
I hope you feel better.
lightheaded, yes. floaty, yes. out of it, definitely. My neck is also very tense.
I really appreciate the support, many thanks.
Just in case I didn't say it, thank you too to wee-mee for your kind words and support. I've found it so nice to hear from you all tonight.
Sleep-well everyone
Aaarggh after a much better day today I am now feeling intensely dizzy again, headache and lots of ringing in my bad ear. Trying so hard to be rational with this!
It always get much worse at night for me, I feel better upon waking up and it gets steadily worse. I was better today until about 2 o'clock this afternoon - maybe it is like sleeplessfog says and it is the fatigue from being on my feet for a long time. I managed to stay at work though which is excellent news.
Now just trying to avoid a night of worrying but struggling a bit
Having a bad morning, woke up with numbness in my left arm and a really strange numb nerve feeling in my left had (mainly my middle fingers).
Having been awake for an hour or so it's still there and I am panicking about this being yet more signs of a brain tumour or something. The sensation seems to run down from my left side of my head through my shoulder and into my arm.
Anyone got any ideas or thoughts, please!
Migraine?
I've had a couple of migraines, due to the contraceptive pill I was on, and the precursor was tingling in my left arm and hand.
loulabella
29-10-09, 09:40
How are you getting on Mark? x
SleeplessFog
29-10-09, 17:02
Yeah Mark, did you ever get checked for the ear thing? Hope all is well.
Hi, thanks for checking up one me!
I've been feeling better for the last few days, less dizzy, less headaches and slightly less worry. Then today I was at work, not feeling anxious or stressed and bang came a headache of massive proportions! It's been lingering all afternoon and is now, once again, concentrated on the left of my head - it keeps coming in waves, getting worse then easing. Going out of my mind petrified it's a brain tumour or something, it's like no headache I've had before and makes me feel sick.
I haven't had things go on worrying me for this long before and it's really shook me and is taking it out of me. Normally, in the past, I have worried over things for maybe a week or two and then it's gone away, but now it just seems to come back when I think I am getting over it.
I was taking antibiotics for 2 weeks and stopped a couple of days ago as the GP I saw (we have three where I go) said it was probably a viral infection and that there was no longer fluid behind my ear. I don't know if that's something to do with it. I don't know where to go for help any more as I'm sure the doctors at my GP think it's all down to me being anxious and I don't feel like they really understand at all.
I have an appointment to see a neurologist in 2 weeks, I managed to get a private appointment through my medical insurance with work. I think they only really reffered me to put my mind at ease, they say I don't have anything to worry about - it's just really difficult to believe this when I have these horrible symptoms still.
Your support here great though and much appreciated.
Im sure this has been asked or said already but Im in a bit of a rush so havent had chance to read them all..
But what work do you do, could you say it was something related to work? Maybe the Christmas run up - a busier period.. Maybe heating or air- con, the dry air.. Maybe not having a chance to drink enough water whilst youre there? It could be anything really.
You say you stopped the antibiotics, isnt it always best to finish the course even if symptoms ease? Maybe your GP told you to?
It sounds like you're describing a migraine rather than a headache to me?
Try not to worry, Im sure its nothing, but at least you only have a 2 week wait now :)
xx.
It may be work related but I have never had these headaches like this before, yes they feel like what a migraine has been described as. I do drink plenty though.
The antibiotics finished, sorry - mis-worded that a little I was given a 2 week course and I finished it.
I just want this all to go away so that I can enjoy life again, it feels pretty rubbish at the moment. I've no idea what to think anymore :shrug:
The pain in my head is so bad, I think I am going to have to call the out of hours doctor as I cannot bear it any longer. I feel so sick and scared. It keeps pulsating, getting worse and then better.
SleeplessFog
29-10-09, 22:43
It sounds like you are having a migraine....have you been resting okay and everything? I know you said you drink a lot of water....
It certainly felt like a migraine, never had them before though. Very confused. It subsided shortly after my last post, just felt worn out and neck very sore.
Most concerned that this all points to it being something serious.
Hi. I've been through this too. I suffer from migraines and headaches and they are usually always on the same side. They can get very intense and afterwards you do feel a bit washed out. Very often they are brought on by stress and tension. I think that if it was anything serious it wouldnt be coming and going like that. I'm sure that the neurologist will put your mind at ease when you see him/her. Easier said than done but try and relax a bit and dont worry.
laladienea1969
30-10-09, 12:33
hi mark, hope your feeling better today, I think the fact that your worrying about your symptoms is actually making your symptoms worse and that anxiety is now beginning to kick in, i know you are waiting for an appointment to see a specialist in december, have you tried phoning them to see if they can get you in earlier in case they have had a cancellation? or it may be worthwhile popping up to A & E and explaining whats going on and see if they can get you in any quicker.. it sounds like a migraine hun but with a touch of anxiety kicking in there so try and stop worrying i know this is hard in itself as i am now off work with general anxiety but the health worries are now kicking in and its a real pain.... keep smiling hunny xx
hi all, thanks for the input - can't say how much it makes things better hearing your support.
I've been a little better today, this morning I woke up and felt that usual dread that another day has come to live through this, honestly felt like a zombie who just lives dreading the anxiety. Managed to lighten up a bit, did 6 hours at work and now home and trying to relax.
I agree that these sound like migraines, it's just so scary when I've never had them before now, why would they suddenly start? I am insistent that I will NOT google any symptoms as this is the worst possible thing that I think I or anyone else like this can ever do. I don't have a headache as such but sometimes its like a small throbbing sensation in a particular part of my head, always the left, this scares me so much.
I have this horrible metallic taste in my mouth even though I don't actually feel anxious right now, I don't know if it's the stomach acid as I am also taking tablets as I have had the last few months were I have had a lot of acid reflux, something else to worry about. I can't help but worry that the things are connected and that I have cancer which is spreading through my body and into my brain.
I also don't feel with it, like I am sometimes disconnected from what my hands are doing.
Never have things gone on this bad before for so long, I just want my old self back so much, it's becoming difficult for those around me as I keep being so difficult. This morning I just felt like I have nothing to be pleased or excited for, life has become such a dread of anxiety over my health and I have no optimism that it will improve. I feel unable to go back to the doctors again after about 6 visits in the last 3 weeks and the only good thing is that my parents come back from holiday next week and I cannot wait to have a good talk with my Mum, she also gets anxiety, not about health though - I think I inherited some of her genes here!
Mark, try to get hold of a copy of Claire Weekes' "self-help for your nerves".
I've been suffering from anxiety, which was ultimately triggered by health anxiety. I'm on citalopram for it.
The book (I only started reading it lasy night and already feel a million times better) explains really well and simply the cycle of anxiety-fear-anxiety.
Yours sounds like a classic case - you've had physical symptoms which have scared you, so you have become anxious ...which has triggered more adrenaline = heightened symptoms = further syptoms, and so on.
You need to find a way of breaking the cycle, so that the anxiety doesn't feed on itself - the book tells you how to do this.
Get it from the NMP inline shop, or Amazon.
Thanks for the book recommendation, I bought the one on dealing with health anxiety but don't feel rational enough to start working through it yet.
To top things off I have lots of stomach acid tonight and that horrible feeling like I need to eat even though I don't, if you know what I mean! Worried because when I questioned the doctor about this before he said people with stomach cancer get this about a week before they die. I am getting it and this is despite being on lansoprazole, a PPI to cut down the amount of acid. It is getting worse, I can't think rationally anymore, sick to death of the constant worry.
i have fluid behind ear too - it is called labrynithis - whilst it is not dangerous it is bl**dy awful to live with !!! i did try to put a link on here that the doctor gave me to read up on it but dont know how to- the link is called patient information /labrynithitis- have a look and see, whilst causing awful symptoms they are NOT dangerous, mine range from feeling dizzy/nauseous/anxious/spaced out to just plain fed up !!! - unfortunately no one can predict how long it will take to clear up, though it does clear up eventually - hope this helps :-)
Well funnily enough the dizziness is slightly better now. I was starting to get over things a little but now I have this awful taste in my mouth, despite not being anxious (much). I dont know if its from the amitriptyline I am taking but it's horrible, like a constant deep metallic taste that wont go away. Why does it go from one thing to another, I now worry that I am suffering from something abdominal that has spread through me.
Oh no, now I've just read another post about 'Petechaie' which I have never heard of before and now I am freaking out as I noticed a bit of this on my left wrist the other day. Triggering my cancer/leukaemia fears.
Why oh why do we get so freaked out about our health, I so wish it would go away. I have never had things go on for this long before. Maybe part of it is the fact that, for the first time, I am actually seeing a specialist and will not rest until I get told I am clear of serious illlness, combined with the fact that I am petrified about actually going to see them in case I am told it is something really bad. I've no idea how I am going to feel when the time actually comes and if I have to do any awful tests.
hi mark,
I just read your post and I am 100% certain that you are having migraines. I have just started having them two and have seen two nuerologists who have confirmed both. I was really frieked out by them at first as they came along side a lot of ther wierd symptoms like twitching, ear and eye pain, and some numbness. however, all that has been related to the migraine. All one sided. I honestly thought I was dying at first, like there was no possible explanation for all of this other than a terrible illness. I was wrong. I also remember the doctor asking me about that metalic taste you mentioned as that is a classic migraine sympton. My neurologist sent me for a couple of scans just to check for other stuff. Dont be scared if he/she sends you for these as they are JUST TO RULE OUT other things. Good luck with the neuro and try not to think of the worst case scenario. It is hard as some of the stuff that comes along with migraines is really odd and difficult to accept at first, but hopefully all will be fine!
Hi, your last post put me at ease somewhat, I think these were migraines and possibly stress induced, at least that's a nice logical explanation anyway.
I woke last night with numb left arm, all the way down - so scared that this is something bad. I nearly dislocated it in the summer though and since then it has been a bit sore, maybe I trapped a nerve or something, I don't know if that could cause this and I am determined not to google any symptoms, ever.
Hi, your last post put me at ease somewhat, I think these were migraines and possibly stress induced, at least that's a nice logical explanation anyway.
I woke last night with numb left arm, all the way down - so scared that this is something bad. I nearly dislocated it in the summer though and since then it has been a bit sore, maybe I trapped a nerve or something, I don't know if that could cause this and I am determined not to google any symptoms, ever.
Hi Mark,
Thought I'd drop you a quick line, as I can completely relate to a lots of the symptoms that you're talking about and have certainly suffered from the same negative thought patterns. Currently I'm going through a relatively "good patch". I don't know whether you get these too, but they are the brief spells when I feel like I'm thinking "normally" about things and seem to be getting things on an even keel. This particular good patch has lasted longer than most and I'm pretty sure it's because I've been commiting time every day to relaxation. I have been trying a combination of hypnotherapy, tai chi and mediation. When I was in the depths of dispair I was pretty sure that relaxation wasn't going to help. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't cured me, but it has helped. Are you trying any techniques to help you deal with how you're feeling?
Speak soon.
Blue.
hi blue22, thanks for the reply, I have been better for the past few days but seeing the neurologist on wednesday so really worried about that. I have considered hypnotherapy and may go for a session to see how it helps, have you found much benefit from that?
Hi Mark,
I'm sure it varies from one hypnotherapist to another, but I've been lucky enough to find one that works for me. I've been seeing her on and off since June. As well as the one to one sessions, she gave me a relaxation/hypnotherapy CD to listen to every evening, which she said works by gradually bringing the subconscious stress levels down. I noticed a significant change within two weeks, but had a real breakthrough session in September and have gone from having ectopic heartbeats several times a day to maybe having one every week or so! I can't tell you what a relief it has been. It has allowed me to get my nerves back on something of an even keel. I would definitely try some alternative therapies. If you're feeling anything like I was then it kind of gets to the point where you'll try anything to feel better.
I really hope that the neurologist appointment goes well on Wednesday. Drop me an email or a post on here to let me know how you get on. Best of luck.
Take care,
Blue.
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