heres one for you !(control)

[trev1234]

i read lots of post here about people with anxiety of allsorts but never come across the situation im about to mention..right here we go..has anyone one on here been totally controlled by there partner or critisised ,belittled so much and constantally moaned at that they find there partner is causing the panics and anxiety,depression etc ?wether it be male or female on the recieving end..i have a massive tolerance to my girlfriend but she is so over powering mentally and controlling that i think shes made me very ill..she is also no support for me..even to the point that ive posted this after she has gone to bed..any advice or help would be much appreciated..

[Luci-loo]

I totally understand!! When my panic first started about my peeing ocd it was because I really needed to go as I'd been drinking LOADS and my ex thought it would be really funny if he just circled and circled round the house and bumping the car and I peed a little. I might have been able to let it go if he hadn't gone on and on about it so much. He was quietly controlling so much so I didn't even notice until the very end when I was almost a nervous wreck. I had a panic attack in the car and he stopped it and threatened to make me walk home if I didn't quit it. It wasn't until we spilt up that I really looked at myself and realised how much I changed because of always being put down and belittled.

I can't tell you want to do as you will know better than anyone exactly what goes on but if you think that she is directly causing your anxiety it may be worth sitting down with her- if she is like my ex and doing it "for a laugh" she may not realise how much she is hurting you.

[smiley]

hi trev just read your post and totally sympathise with what you have written,although my ex partner was not the sole cause of my anxiety and panic i truly believe now that he made a massive contribution to it and looking back now i can see that most of my attacks were fear of him throwing a wobbly when i had one so they were induced by the lack of sympathy and understanding he gave me, anyway to cut a long story short my relationship with my partner fell apart after my medication kicked in and i found a backbone to attempt to kick him into touch with my problems, my relationship was by no means wonderful and after much soulsearching i realised that he wasnt doing my health any good whatsoever, i made the decision to end the relationship and from that day my anxiety has all but gone, i rarely have a panic attack now, i wont say he was the sole cause but ending the relationship has certainly shown me that he wasnt helping at all,im not saying that your g/f is the cause of your problems as i dont know your history but i do agree that unsymapthetic partners can be an added strain on the panic and anxiety if they dont or wont find the time to try and understand ....
Good luck trev i hope all works out for you

[trev1234]

throwing a wobly is what i have to put up with..voilence and smashing stuff up in the past has happned..i dread what ive done wrong without even knowing it..dread the response of what she will do or say..iknow im not perfect but i would prefer and less wobbly stressed free life..it certainly has contributed to my mental health..thanks for the replies..

[Mudskipper]

I won't say that my wife is the cause of my anxiety, but she sure as hell doesn't understand it and doesn't even want to try, and that doesn't help at all. I'm miserable, self-absorbed, grumpy and embarassing to be with apparently. All this from someone who's been on Citalopram for three years without a break and who was a total zombie before she started it. Partners eh?:lac: