View Full Version : The Gately factor
Gotta say chaps,
The sudden death of Stephen Gatley has more then freaked me out, I'm just finding the whole - healthy, 33 year old drops dead of "natural" causes has sent my health anxiety though the roof. The whole thing about it is now contantly on my mind, sudden deaths like Heath Ledger and Jackson sent my anxiety into orbit,with my symptoms I can't help but feel this is gonna happen to me,do others feel so affected by these events so deeply? and is there anyway I can try and turn off to this death anxiety? I'm sorry this post Is all over the place but my brain is all over the place right now
nomorepanic
17-10-09, 21:21
thousands of people die like this every day but they aren't in the media so we never know.
My philosophy is that when it is your time to die you will and that is destiny.
You need to focus on the here and now and not death! Lead an active and fulfilling life and make the most of every day.
mandyclare
17-10-09, 22:34
Agree with Nicola .. there is a saying that goes something like
I would rather die living than live dieing.
Easy to say, we are all I presume anxious people on here but I keep that saying in mind and try to live by it.
Hopefully we will all live to be old people but how sad it would be if we never truly lived because we spent each day worried about dieing.
I've had a terrible day today, constant palpatations everything but i'm determined to take tomorrow by the horns.. go to the coast and have a walk and enjoy being alive : )
Try not to worry, i know it's hard
Mand x
I understand how you are feeling because I have been wondering that myself how someone can drop dead suddenly at 33 and Im 34 and I have been concerned about this this week and I have felt anxiety thinking that it is going to happen to me but I know I need to try and channel my thoughts to something else. Ten years ago, I would definitely have been having anxiety attacks over this and be worrying about this for weeks.
Something like 200 people die in the UK everyday by being electricuted by their alarm clocks, as Nicola said when your time is up, your time is up.
Concentrate on the here and now and enjoy it because life is too short. Apart from Stephen Gately the others you have mentioned have died as a direct result of some kind of substance abuse or accidental overdose. Michael Jacksons death, whilst sad-I cant help feeling that it was inevitable.
You start taking high doses of xanax, diazepam and surgical anethetics together and you are asking for trouble. Its not like he was a healthy guy who just dropped dead.
I just put my alarm clock on ebay
Cell block H fan
18-10-09, 06:08
I just put my alarm clock on ebay
lol
Something like 200 people die in the UK everyday by being electricuted by their alarm clocks, as Nicola said when your time is up, your time is up.
There were 509,090 deaths in the UK in 2008 according to the Office for National Statistics (http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=952) and according to your figures 73,000 (200 per day * 365) that's 1 in 7 were caused by alarm clocks... I think you've got your figures mixed up somewhere as by your statistics alarm clocks kill twice as many people as lung cancer. :roflmao:
Anyway yeah stop worrying about Stephen Gately, he died, sad as it is, but worrying about it isn't going to help the issue.
I will suggest though that anyone with alarm clocks please destroy them now as they're apparently one of the biggest causes of death in the UK. :winks:
looking4answers
18-10-09, 06:43
Thats why I live each day to its fullest.. My brother had a massive coronary at 44 at that time I thought it older but was still in a state of shock because I thought he was such a health nut he would outlive everyone. Now I look back and think. I have outlived him by 10 years.. I worry too..and also the deaths of younger people freak me out as well, but then I think of people that live to be old and outlive all of their children NOW THATS frighting!!!! The only thing you can do is enjoy every minute and do your best not to worry..other than that ..its out of your control.. Sorry I couldn't make things better but at least you aren't alone in thinking about these things,. .
Desprate Dan
18-10-09, 07:33
I am a lot better now than i was 6 months ago, at that time i was going through hell, i was so frightened of everything and worried constantly about dieing.. What i thought was awful "although i was not a fan" every paper at the time seem to have a picture of Jade Goody dieing on the front page and i felt physically sick and couldn't look at a paper. Why did the media push it in our faces all the time, yes it was terrible news but why day after day did we have to look at pictures of her slowly dieing......I thought it was sick and made me feel terrible.
Like others have said i to have now come to accept that there is one thing for certain in life is that we wont last forever, and strange as it sounds when i felt as low as i ever have, i suddenly was not affraid of dieing anymore, and now i am feeling better although i dont want it to happen, i have come to accept that one day it will, thats why we should try our best to enjoy what we have right now..
I have just took a hammer to my alarm clock, it never worked for me iv'e always woke before it goes off anyway, so i didnt need the extra risk...:winks:
Dan
Thing is this fluid on the lungs that Gately died of, could easily have been as a result of a drinking bender he'd been on, which could have lead to vomiting....which of course they wont come out and say if he had vomited during his sleep, make of that what you will.
Ledger & Jacko were simply drug overdoses, and lets be honest, Jacko wasn't exactly young was he, 50 is a decent age :)
looks like im not the only one this has sent ha wild this week im like 31 and i think that could be me imagining going to sleep and not wakeing up scares me.
all i do is think how that poor guy died and how sad it is at that age.
as is said before it was fulid on the lungs but it also said he died of nautral causes nothing to do with drink and being on a bender.
micheal jackson was different he was heading to die at some point with all those drugs how he lived to 50 was amazing.
looks like im not the only one this has sent ha wild this week im like 31 and i think that could be me imagining going to sleep and not wakeing up scares me.
all i do is think how that poor guy died and how sad it is at that age.
as is said before it was fulid on the lungs but it also said he died of nautral causes nothing to do with drink and being on a bender.
micheal jackson was different he was heading to die at some point with all those drugs how he lived to 50 was amazing.
I totally agree with you on this that it had nothing to do with a drink bender as the papers keep making out. Yes it is going to worry people with ha who are hearing that someone of 33 is dying of natural causes and not waking up from his sleep. I find this really scary.
There were 509,090 deaths in the UK in 2008 according to the Office for National Statistics (http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=952) and according to your figures 73,000 (200 per day * 365) that's 1 in 7 were caused by alarm clocks... I think you've got your figures mixed up somewhere as by your statistics alarm clocks kill twice as many people as lung cancer. :roflmao:
Anyway yeah stop worrying about Stephen Gately, he died, sad as it is, but worrying about it isn't going to help the issue.
I will suggest though that anyone with alarm clocks please destroy them now as they're apparently one of the biggest causes of death in the UK. :winks:
Err thank you for pointing that out Cococj, I got that from a documentary I saw years ago, I think I probably meant per year:roflmao:
Thank you for all your replies you have no idea how fantastic it is to have you guys support and comments on this subject. It's part of my DNA to worry regarding death I just can't install it into me to have a " let the chips fall where they may attitude", I do get the meaning to leave life to the fullest but how do you do that when I feel I'll all the time? I mean how do you live to fullest when you have constant rapid heartbeat? Headache, sore ears, tight chest blah blah blah? I'm just not sure how to do it?
And does anyone have the stars for eggtimer related deaths?
Dam I just bought jackos alarm clock but never knew about being zapped to death by them.
I think you live live to the fullest because you feel the way you do. There was a post about so much time wasted recently and we all spend so much time worrying about something that may not happen for 50 yrs, that we dont live anyway
Egg timer deaths are about 3 mins
gypsywomen
18-10-09, 14:52
just to say 20 people a year die from alarm cocks its the sudden noise can give some heart attack this is a fact ,, as for Stephen rest in peace why doesnt the media leave it alone ,,they make me sick his poor family
gypsywomen
18-10-09, 17:02
http://www.whatsonstage.com/blogs/manchester/wp-content/gallery/people/gsg3.jpgrest in peace
just to say 20 people a year die from alarm cocks its the sudden noise can give some heart attack this is a fact
Right that's it, I am off to get a silent alarm clock
njay, Michael Jackson didn't die for no reason. he was pumped up with a toxic level of a drug. I have seen almost nobody die out of nowhere, it is so rare. Look up the song, "I'm Gonna Live Until I Die". Old song but the lyrics are great. Try to focus on the joy of this all, as much of a mystery this life is, it can be a ball if we stop focusing on dying. Just do all you can to stay healthy. To be really frank, I get crazy when people say they're afraid of dying, cancer, etc. and still smoke. I hope you don't. I have severe health anxiety but I CAN control what I eat, exercise and not smoking. I don't want any additional worries. Please try to not dwell. Try to celebrate each day.
I am afraid of death too many times in my life it has disturbed me. I hve been very ill this year with heart problems and I thought i did not have long to live.I do not think we should cope with it by pushing it away but rather by accepting it will happen one day but not today si I do not have to think about it today, I also believe in God and ask for his help with this daily and he does help me.
Ella_Jayne
18-10-09, 23:28
I was completely freaked out by the death of Stephen.
Picture this:
I was asleep, and about 3am my boyfriend woke me up, after having a very anxious night to tell me that Stephen Gately had died... in his sleep.
Then when I couldn't go back to sleep he wondered why???
Ever since then I have trouble when night time approaches thinking I'm not going to wake up. My family think I'm crazy and just laugh at me but the fear is unbearable!!
I know people don't just die for no reason, even though it may appear that way there is always some sort of medical reason.
Stephen Gately's Dad side of the family had a history of heart failure. It said he died of too much fluid on the lungs and problems with the heart can cause this along with drinking too much and getting sick in his sleep.
Whatever the reason for Stephen it was a tragedy and very rare. I need to (and anyone else who is scared by this) need to stop thinking it's going to happen to us. It's not healthy. I'm trying my best to keep positive and it's proving to be very hard but hopefully I/we will all overcome this fear of dying.
Ella_Jayne
21-10-09, 03:09
I've had a fear of death for years, started when i was about 8 or 9. I had a sore throat, but for some reason i was really scared and thought i was going to die. I even made a show of myself in primary school back then, needing constant reassurance from people in my class that i was going to be alright, i cried and cried and my mum would come and collect me and take me home.
I remember during the time my two grandmothers died back in 2003 sometime, i became obsessed wiith death, had sleepless nights constantly thinking i would die. Then the fear just went, until i was going to the hospital for an operation on my neck to remove a lump (wasn't cancerous, i was just born with a lump of tissue!). The doctors said i'd be alright, and that i wasn't going to die.
And for a few years now, i still think about death, especially at night before i'm going off to sleep, i'll think about it deeply, and have this image of myself in an open casket and think ''Oh crap!!'' for a few seconds, then my heart will beat faster, but then i just think ''It's ok man, everyone's gonna die''.
I'm not a fan of Boyzone at all, don't really follow popular music. But it's very sad to hear a human being has died at such a young age.
I know exactly how you feel. I get these disturbing thoughts at night time too. It's horrible, it's like my mind goes out of control. I've basically thought of my own funeral and being stuck in a coffin in the ground, it's horrible but stupid to think about it. As you said everyone's gonna die at some point.
Life itself is a terminal illness and we should just live each day to the full. But first I have to find a way to block out these thoughts as those alone can cause a full blown panic attack...
Once again i am placed on panic mode as into the public eye is a heart releated death, Brittany Murphy's death at just the age of 32 has brought back all my own fears of my own health and my heart, my heart recently has flet like it is struggling to beat and has pressure all round it, the news of another high profile death is such a worry and brings the fact that even at a young age it is possible to have a heart releated death, something i try and trick myself everyday that it is not possible to do, this news just freaks me right out , while my thoughts are with her family and friends i wish news like this would not be published as to cause of peoples death.
sorry ur feeling bad if u read the paper she died from drugs same pain killers that mj took the heart attack was brought on by them it is very rare of a 32 year old to die from a heart attack.
she was ill weeks before her death.
take care
superjonboy
21-12-09, 13:31
I haven't read every post in this thread so sorry if this is repeating anyone.
There is a major difference between yourself and Steven Gately, Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger e.t.c
With Health Anxiety we are constantly focused on our bodily symptoms and sensations, to the extent that we misinterpret normal bodily sensations for signs of serious illness. Then things like headaches, chest pains, light headedness e.t.c all see much worse than they actually are.
Now for the difference.
Steven Gately didn't have health anxiety. It's fair to say that he had very little internal focus on his body and sensations/symptoms. Now this is at the other end of the extreme to how we are. That's whay we see health adverts for how to kee a health heart e.t.c because some people have no focus on their body and do not notice any signs of illness at all.
The key with health anxiety and in general is to be inbetween these 2 extremes. So that we are aware of our symptoms but don't indulge them. I.E a headache is a headache. Lightheadedness is lightheadedness. We recognise them and let them be. Then we know when something is seriously wrong.
The other thing about Steven Gately is that although his death is labelled as 'Natural Causes' he had a heart defect. He also had fluid on his lungs which you or I would have been at the doctors with probably weeks in advance lol.
Heath Ledger and MJ both had prescription drug problems and were seemingly indulged by their doctors. When you look at the list of medications MJ was taking you have to say he did well to last as long as he did.
These are completely different to you or I.
I think the best thing to do is look at it rationally. Yes it's scarey and yes it will happen to us all one day. When you actually look deep into the facts behind these celebrity deaths you'll see they are completely different to yourself.
thank you guys for such quick and supportive replies, yes i agree with everything you say, having said that i cant help but refer back to my own pains/ symptoms, yes i am different cases to Heath, MJ or even Gately but i cant help but break free from this feeling ive had since i was a child that i would die at a young age from a health problem and reading stories of these celebrities is like reading into my own history. Hope this makes sense and not just ramblings of a fool....
Thanks again for the replies
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