Struggling

[darkangel]

I don't know if anyone can help me and please do not advise me to walk away - i can't. I have had GAD, Panic Attacks & Agoraphobia for 8 years and made a lot of progress. I now find myself in a carer's role to my boyfriend who is bi-polar and my anxiety is soaring once again. I need to be strong to support him but also take care of myself. I cannot speak to anyone about it because they will say leave him. any advice - im desperate!!

[Trev]

Is your boyfriend getting treatment for the disorder?

[nomorepanic]

I don't think you need to leave him atall.

Is he getting any help for it? Has he seen a doctor? Is he on any meds?

Hope you come back to reply.

Nicola

[Rose]

Hi darkangel,

I don't think you should walk away, it sounds like you care about him an awful lot and just want to help him yet look after yourself too.

It must be a hard situation, but it will be OK. When I was first with my fiance he had problems too...so we both had to support each other. It was hard at times but we managed to do it and in ways it helped to have each other. I just hope one day that will be you too, that you can both help and support each other and in the end both of you will feel better because of it. Me and my fiance still have our problems but since we have had each other things have been better and I wish you and your boyfriend the same.

I wish I could give you some good advice, all I can say is don't give up. Have you tried talking to him? Letting him know how you feel yet telling him you want to be there to support him too. I am sure he doesn't want to see you getting worse and wants you to look after yourself too. I hope you can both find a way of supporting each other without making either of you worse.

I hope some of what I have said has made sense. I am very new to this forum so am a little nervous...but I just want to help as much as I can.

Take care and if you want to talk you can always send me a PM.

Rose

[darkangel]

Thank you for your kind replies. He is getting help and is on meds. He admitted himself to hospital last night so i know he is being taken care of. I can concentrate more on getting myself through this. Life is never easy but we with anxiety have the inner strength somehow to get through!
I will keep positive and take each day at a time.

[Trev]

At least you know he is getting the help he needs. I only asked because a good mate of mine runs conferences on Bi Polar Disorder (amongst other disorders) and so he tends to be up on latest developments and future directions as he gets doctors to speak on latest findings at his events.
If you had any specific questions that you have not been able to find answers to he may be able to help. I wouldn't mind asking him if this would help you. Just something to bear in mind.

As for your anxiety, all I can say is, based on my own experience, I believe you can come through it and make a full recovery. It will probably take a bit of time but it can happen. :D You sound like you have good inner strength on which to build. Keep as much of the positive in your life as you can and try to ignore negative influences.

You can do it. :D

Cheers,
Trev

[darkangel]

Thank you Trev for your inspirational message - i will keep that in mind if i have any questions.
Im off for an aromathereapy oil bath to pamper myself - i deserve it!
In order for me to support my bfriend i first need to take care of myself.
Visiting is in 2 hours so i better go!!
Thanks again for just being there.

[Trev]

No worries.

You are doing the right thing to look after yourself. You need to pamper yourself and relax and treat yourself where possible.

Good on you for sticking by your boyfriend in these difficult times. When you come out the other side it will only make you stronger.

Hope the visit goes well.

Cheers,
Trev :D

[darkangel]

well its weird how things happen!
i came out my bath and i got a phone call from our local health club with a promotion offer for the gym. I told the girl how i couldnt go to a gym cos of my anxiety and i have not much energy but i know i could do with the exercise. She suggested i try the toning tables which are great for relaxation and as it runs as a womens group it would be a great opportunity for me to meet people. Anyway im booked in for a visit tomorrow and she will meet me outside. I have been thinking about wot i could do for myself but have been putting it off. I will let u know how i get on and if i panic i will deal with it!!! I already feel better about myself - i need to keep positive to deal with bfriend and it will help me take my mind off him. Anyway must go. Bye Bye

[Trev]

That's a great start. It's funny you mention the gym!!!

I had a post, Exercise and Panic Attacks, here it is : (not sure it it'll work as I've just cut and copied it across) Exercise and panic attacks (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4768)

I went back to the gym after a big kick up the backside from people on here (thank you again!). It's the best thing I did. I had cancelled my mebership a year previously as I felt so ill but as it turns out the best thing I could have done would have been to carry on.
Doing the exercise is a major help with this anxiety / panic attack stuff. It helps to burn off the adrenaline etc as it's being used for what it's meant to be used for. You may feel a little worse at the very start but this soon passes. Go for it. :D
I hope it goes well at the meeting tomorrow and that you join up.
It may take a little while but I don't think you will regret it. In fact I saw a report that said exercise alone is as successful at treating anxiety and depression as meds alone. :D I haven't taken meds so can't comment on that.

Cheers,
Trev

[darkangel]

I read your article that you mentioned. I would like to read the following article you mentioned where can i find it please?

(Sadie describes my situation exactly in her thread "what if this is it this time?" so no point in me repeating it).

[Trev]

Sorry, I had a bit of trouble finding it, but here it is....

'what if this is it this time thoughts' (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4694)

Cheers,
Trev

[Piglet]

Totally agree with Trev about the gym and exercise.

Think the gym person sounds lovely - how nice to meet you outside.

Sure it will help and would love to hear how you get on - Trev and I are always posting on his thread 'Exercise and Panic Attacks' have you read that one, do join us on there if you like.

Love Piglet:)

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Meg]

Dark angel

Maybe you could get a bit more involved with those who are caring for your boyfriend now and build some closer links with them so you know who to contact when he's getting acute and what you can do to help him.

You're right you do need to look after yourself too.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?