phil06
19-10-09, 23:11
I feel things are a struggle for me at the moment. Work has been really getting on top of me. I work with customers and have been quite miserable over the last few months. There's like loads of factors I work with people who are a bit two faced ok sometimes, not the next so in my time there I rarely talk to them on a shift.
To add to that my anxiety can play up at work so I don't talk to people when I get bad anxiety spells. But stuff has annoyed me all round lately somebody new started and because she was not single that's really annoyed me so I avoid her. She doesn't talk back so it's awkward too. Plus when I told them about applying for other jobs they put me down and say I won't be able to manage it. There's too much to write down.
I feel it's a mixture of things I feel down as nothings gone my way this year. I mean quite literally I have tried my socks off and got no where like 15+ interviews, 6 or more dates even that gets me down as I could be doing with more. It's left me soul destroyed, deflated knowing the years almost done. No end in sight. I've never been good at putting a face on atall. It's such a struggle because I feel so down about things so can see no light at the end of the tunnel. In the past things were better..ok i had problems but not depressing ones.
Being single is awful for me I feel so much more lifted in love. I feel a stronger person, secure, some future in sight, I'm busy, I have company. I'm not into meeting randoms I'd like something serious.
I can't continue how things are. I had a terrible night at work was so unsociable even got the bus myself I normally get somebody else down but I was quite moody. Feel I duno what's wrong with me, feel tense, unrelaxed, worried, stressed, no good future in sight. I can't get my heard round life at the moment. Ok I can play the xbox that's a temporary distraction. I've found this stuff easier in the past but like every situation is different. My life at the moment I'm in a unique kind of job, can be ok sometimes but can't find another. I could get two part time ones but duno..might not feel better, might want to give the one i hate up...
Like there's a female friend I fancy too but she had a date with somebody else and doesn't fancy me so that was another blow to the dating thing so I avoid her like a game. I feel I go in silly moods about it, then move onto another. I know I can't demand luck but what do I do? It's got me down, no end in sight? I want soo much more. :shrug:
It's a real struggle there's so much I could write down. I'm anxious...worried about getting manic depression, or being depressed atall, worried I'll go mad, OCD thoughts are hard to deal with. I'm in a bit of a struggle, tried a walk or two..no good. Maybe I need a longer walk? The last week I have felt down, even from when I wake up. At times i want to throw the towel and stuff the job, stuff my crap pals and start a fresh then I think back to it could be worse.
Not long turned 21 but It's soo hard getting older, I see soo many others getting it easy. I still duno what to make of things..maybe I'm still learning? At time's I make it worse for myself but feel i can't contain it, can't put faces on...if things ain't going my way I show it. Where's it going to go next? not worse surely? What if there's worse ahead...not everybody can cope well? :doh:At times I feel like giving up totally on driving lessons ect..
I just duno anymore? I prob sound mad. :weep:
To add to that my anxiety can play up at work so I don't talk to people when I get bad anxiety spells. But stuff has annoyed me all round lately somebody new started and because she was not single that's really annoyed me so I avoid her. She doesn't talk back so it's awkward too. Plus when I told them about applying for other jobs they put me down and say I won't be able to manage it. There's too much to write down.
I feel it's a mixture of things I feel down as nothings gone my way this year. I mean quite literally I have tried my socks off and got no where like 15+ interviews, 6 or more dates even that gets me down as I could be doing with more. It's left me soul destroyed, deflated knowing the years almost done. No end in sight. I've never been good at putting a face on atall. It's such a struggle because I feel so down about things so can see no light at the end of the tunnel. In the past things were better..ok i had problems but not depressing ones.
Being single is awful for me I feel so much more lifted in love. I feel a stronger person, secure, some future in sight, I'm busy, I have company. I'm not into meeting randoms I'd like something serious.
I can't continue how things are. I had a terrible night at work was so unsociable even got the bus myself I normally get somebody else down but I was quite moody. Feel I duno what's wrong with me, feel tense, unrelaxed, worried, stressed, no good future in sight. I can't get my heard round life at the moment. Ok I can play the xbox that's a temporary distraction. I've found this stuff easier in the past but like every situation is different. My life at the moment I'm in a unique kind of job, can be ok sometimes but can't find another. I could get two part time ones but duno..might not feel better, might want to give the one i hate up...
Like there's a female friend I fancy too but she had a date with somebody else and doesn't fancy me so that was another blow to the dating thing so I avoid her like a game. I feel I go in silly moods about it, then move onto another. I know I can't demand luck but what do I do? It's got me down, no end in sight? I want soo much more. :shrug:
It's a real struggle there's so much I could write down. I'm anxious...worried about getting manic depression, or being depressed atall, worried I'll go mad, OCD thoughts are hard to deal with. I'm in a bit of a struggle, tried a walk or two..no good. Maybe I need a longer walk? The last week I have felt down, even from when I wake up. At times i want to throw the towel and stuff the job, stuff my crap pals and start a fresh then I think back to it could be worse.
Not long turned 21 but It's soo hard getting older, I see soo many others getting it easy. I still duno what to make of things..maybe I'm still learning? At time's I make it worse for myself but feel i can't contain it, can't put faces on...if things ain't going my way I show it. Where's it going to go next? not worse surely? What if there's worse ahead...not everybody can cope well? :doh:At times I feel like giving up totally on driving lessons ect..
I just duno anymore? I prob sound mad. :weep: