looby
03-11-05, 22:35
well, i've had my counselling today, which started off quite well, but it got on to my anxiety thing and brought back all horrible memories back, which I hate talking about but my counsellor seems to think it is helping.
when i was 16 i got sexually assaulted, by a 13 yr old lad in his school uniform, when i was on my way to college, (it was 8.30 am) when he grabbed me. i can remember everything about that day from 8.30 am until 5.30 pm when my dad came home and said he would report it to the police for me, after then it's a blur. but what i can remember i think why on earth did you carry on as if nothing happened!!!!!!
after that happened i went a bit off the rails and went out with a 29 year old man. basically, he wasn't nice at all to me and my counsellor reckons he was mentally abusing me, which i didn't think would happen to me but it did.
i used to work in a pub at that time, and 1 night there was loads of trouble which started by one of his mates throwing a glass at me all because the manager tried to bar him.
other stuff happened and another friend of my then boyfriend's came in and threatened to shoot the manager in front of me. the police were called and asked me to give a statement which i did, but ended up withdrawing it as my boyfriend basically told me things would happen to me and my family if i didn't.
another time two huge men had a fight and pushed a big fruit machine over in the pub, and apparently all this could have caused my anxiety, (just realised should have put this under anxiety!!!! [Duh!] )
but i hated talking about it to her as i feel really defensive about it all, it's 1 thing to type it on here, but harder in real life - if you know what i mean-
i just wish that i didn't have to talk about it again, just feel a bit low about it all really.
sorry for boring you but i needed to get it off my chest!!!!
love
looby
xxx
when i was 16 i got sexually assaulted, by a 13 yr old lad in his school uniform, when i was on my way to college, (it was 8.30 am) when he grabbed me. i can remember everything about that day from 8.30 am until 5.30 pm when my dad came home and said he would report it to the police for me, after then it's a blur. but what i can remember i think why on earth did you carry on as if nothing happened!!!!!!
after that happened i went a bit off the rails and went out with a 29 year old man. basically, he wasn't nice at all to me and my counsellor reckons he was mentally abusing me, which i didn't think would happen to me but it did.
i used to work in a pub at that time, and 1 night there was loads of trouble which started by one of his mates throwing a glass at me all because the manager tried to bar him.
other stuff happened and another friend of my then boyfriend's came in and threatened to shoot the manager in front of me. the police were called and asked me to give a statement which i did, but ended up withdrawing it as my boyfriend basically told me things would happen to me and my family if i didn't.
another time two huge men had a fight and pushed a big fruit machine over in the pub, and apparently all this could have caused my anxiety, (just realised should have put this under anxiety!!!! [Duh!] )
but i hated talking about it to her as i feel really defensive about it all, it's 1 thing to type it on here, but harder in real life - if you know what i mean-
i just wish that i didn't have to talk about it again, just feel a bit low about it all really.
sorry for boring you but i needed to get it off my chest!!!!
love
looby
xxx