out of control

[Alisonj]

Hi all
I spent last night in the ER from 9pm-9am this morning :(
I was having bad pain from my surgery and started bleeding plus my anxiety was out of control. I was shaking and crying and such a mess. They did tests and attempted to reassure me all was well. So now I have had zero sleep and the anxiety is running the show.
My platelet level was high. The highest range is 400 and mine was 500. So that sent me into a major episode. Even though the doctor told me not to worry I was terrified. I know that it can affect clotting when its high and I just had abdominal surgery which puts me at risk for clots. So I am now terrified about having one. Like TERRIFIED. My blood pressure is raised, my pulse is high, and I am freaking out completely. The doctor said platelet counts can raise after surgery and I am praying that is all it is. The other blood work showed my hemoglobin down but that is very normal after surgery,
So because I am so anxious I am hiding out in my room in the basement in bed so my children do not see me this bad, I am twitching and tugging my hair and sweating, its an awful site. I sit here with my blood pressure monitor, thermometer and take turns taking them, Bad I know. I am just so scared. I am losing control. If things dont get better I have thought that I will call an ambulance. My poor husband was up all night with me and now is watching the kids.
All they did regarding my anxiety was tell me to relax and try and reassure me I am healing well. But I am still losing it. I would love someone, anyone who can relate to the intense fear to let me know what they do or their story even. It makes me feel less alone.

[Alisonj]

please please anyone, I just need some words to calm down :(

[SleeplessFog]

You're going to be okay, you are definitely feeling worried because your surgery. If they thought it was really a serious issue, I am sure the doctors would have kept you at the hospital longer, and would have admitted you.

[RosieXXX]

Hello Alison,

I know how difficult it is to relax when you are feeling so stressed out, and it is difficult to find comfort when we become convinced there is something dreadfully wrong. It is so easy for the anxiety to spiral out of control, but do try to hang on to the words of the doctor, who has said you are healing well, and that he isn't concerned about your blood work, it isn't unsual to have these readings after surgery; you have been thoroughly checked out and the doctors are certain all is well.

Easier said than done, I know, but please break the cylce of checking, put the thermometer and blood pressure monitor away, because you are only feeding your fear. I do hope you will be feeling more confident soon, and will be feeling calmer.

[Alisonj]

Thank you both so much for replying. It is hard to place my trust in doctors but I should as this one seems to be very good at his job. I am so tired of the worst case scenerio thinking and all the what ifs etc. I should be happy the surgery is over and I am healing. I never understand why we cant look at the bright side of things.

[Sambapati85]

There ya go... nice positive thinking. You are right your body is healing ,its doing what it is supposed to, nothing bad is going to happen , as you just said yo uare tired of thinking of the worst case scenario . Why do we know this , but it is still soo hard to change our train of thought? its a pain in the ass, and a disease in itself, and outsiders never understand the seriousness and toll it takes on us mentally. ... What is the worst that can happen? you die.. why are we afraid of something that is inevitable and natural. Maybe its the fear of the unknown of what happens when we die, if we all knew what really happens, and what to expect 100% then we would welcome death and not fear it to the point where we ruin our lives worrying. I hope you can be happy Again.

[Anxious_gal]

aw I'm sorry your having such a hard time, your just stressed out from having the surgery and the problem with your platelets have set off your anxiety and your health anxiety.
as crazy as you feel you will be ok.
you need to trust that the doctors care and would have kept you in the hospital if some thing was really wrong.
hey they spent like 10 years in medical school.
try writing a journal about how you feel it's a good way of seeing yourself from the out side and it may help you to be more rational.
i remember being there in my room, freaking out many a time, shaking, being terrified, wanting to be alone so no one would see me in that state.
i know its hard to concentrate but try watching a good up lifting movie, or anything you like.
think about all the other times you got freaked out and remember how every time you panicked about some thing you were always ok in the end!
i do hope you feel better soon.
this does hit a nerve with me, it reminds me of the bad time when i hid in my room...
take care x x x

[Alisonj]

Thank you all, I cannot express how much it helps to read your words. I have come out from my hiding spot and have been up with the family for a few hours. Not doing too bad at the moment. Hope it stays that way.

[RosieXXX]

Well done Alison. I hope you have a good day, and will begin to feel stronger:hugs: