oh no

[LisaLisa]

Sorry everyone
But i just googled and am a bit worried again.

I went looking at stuff about this cyst thing i have in my salivary gland and actually found something that fits exactly, and am either hyper happy that it is a sollution that fits what i have and ties in with my negative hiv tests or....im worried that i didnt read enough and that i have actually found something that confirms that my hiv tests are all wrong

Can someone speak to me and help me remember that the tests are good for everyone else that gets them and why should i be any different.......



Im really panicing. Why did I google again why!!

Help

Lisa
xxxx

[meg86]

Hello lovely :)

YOU DONT HAVE HIV!!!! 5 NEGATIVE TESTS!!!!!! IMPOSSIBLE TO BE WRONG MY DEAR.

Google is the devil :) its a shame hun because you give the most fantastic advice to other posters about their Health Anxiety but you find it soo difficult yourself, i think that you have been thinking this thought so long you wouldnt know what to do with yourself if you didnt think it, thats why your clinging on so tight!

I sometimes feel if i dont have something to worry about i will fall apart, its so hard to let go of something you felt for so long.

Did you go to the doctor about the lump? xxx

[LisaLisa]

Hi Meg

Thanks sweetie. I havent been to the drs becuase im so scared. Well actually i did go once and let her feel the lump and she said at that time that she was more concerned about my anxiety and that if she thought it was anything to worry about she would send me straight away to a tumour clinic. She also said it isnt a presentation of hiv with five negative hiv tests. But im just so concerened that she is wrong becuase either

1) she is too young to know ehough !?!?!? ( i know im so mental)
2) she is incompetent
3) it is hiv and i am going so mental with anxiety that its my own fault that it is happening this way and i can only blame myself that itis hiv and not getting looked at becuase i am being so crazy and childish

I think you are so right about the way i am being. I cant apply any logic to my onw situation becuase i just feel that everyone on this site is lovely and im not and i dont deserve to only have health anxiety...i deserve to have hiv.

I feel rubbish. Thanks for your reply meg, im so glad i found you all!!
Lisa
xxxx:hugs:

[rebeccad]

Hi Lisa sorry you are feeling bad again, i know what you mean about your doctor being young because i feel the same about my doctor. We must remember that they have done years and years at medical school and are way more qualified than you or i just because we have googled and think we know it all! You are a lovely person who always helps others on here you have helped me loads of times when i am feeling down you always reply to my posts. After 5 tests it would be almost impossible you have HIV. I think you should go back to see your docs and get reffered for more cbt.
Thank you for helping me so much and i hope you feel better soon xxxx

[LisaLisa]

Aw thanks so much rebbecca. You help me loads too dear, works both ways for sure.

Its weird because although im still getting mental freak out attacks, they are nowhere near as bad as they used to be and they go quite quickly compared to before. Im going to try and hol d out a bit longer before asking for more cbt, just incase i can manage without it and am just not trying hard enough.

Hope your okay today hun

Lisa
xxx