im starting to lose my mind please help

[lonely leanne]

Hello im not sure if this is on the right page probably not, but i do think im starting to lose it! i haev been suffering from depression and anxiety for years the last year being the worst ever. i was prescibed citoloropam which i reacted to very badly. i stopped taking this and since i have stopped taking this i have been completely obsesed that my boyfriend is going to realise im mad and leave me. he works nights as is a flight attendant and i sit up waiting for him no matter if that means i have only ahd an hours sleep before work.
and one thing which i am a little embarassed to admit but this is why i think im finally loosing my mind is im obsessed with getting pregnant, everyone around me is having children and now i cant think about anything else, even researching on the internet.

What is wrong with me please help!!!

[gypsywomen]

Leanne there is nothing wrong with your,because your in state of high anxiety everything gets blown out of proportion,thats what this illness does,, and tinking about getting pregnent people who dont have this think aboutit too its normal in women dont worry

[Bill]

If you're only getting a few hours sleep each night, you will feel too stressed to cope with work which will then create more stress causing you to become so anxious. Your anxiety will then focus on a worry and that worry has surfaced because of others around you having children which you now can't shake causing you to feel you're going mad which then creates the worry your b'f will leave you making you feel the need to stay awake all night causing you to have no sleep causing you stress, causing your anxiety, causing your worry, causing your fear, causing you to stay awake all night.....and so on in a cycle.

If you break the cycle, things will settle and I feel the place to start is by confronting your fear of him leaving by learning to relax, accept he won't and get some sleep then when he's there to greet you each morning you'll prove to yourself you really don't have anything to fear.:hugs:

[phil06]

I've been feeling this way for three weeks now. Just constantly grouchy, on the edge like I'm ready to go mad. Plus my adrenaline must be worse because the more I feel like I am the more nervey and convinced I am that I'm turning mad.

I've been worried about it for months on end in the past. It's hobbile as I feel like sick, get negative thoughts that I am crazy, worries of going to do something irrational.

At the moment I'm convinced I am going mad. :blush:

[Anxious_gal]

belive me, I feel like I'm going crazy too sometimes, It happens a lot at night when I'm trying to sleep. It's a catch 22, the more you worry about going crazy the more anxiety you get which leads to feeling crazy.
I find getting out more, having goals and things to do helps me a lot.
Maybe see a councillor??
well you could be at the time in your life where your body wants babies,
do you actually want a baby? or do you want some one to love you, or maybe you fear getting older and running out of time to have babies.
wanting a baby could simply mean you want one but it could also be lots of other things too.
I never want children but maybe in the future I might but right now I don't. But as a women some times you feel like you have to have children just causes well that's what we are made for! haha
or it could even be OCD.

[dante]

the thing about anxiety is as we get more anxious, our mind gets very tired and when its in this state is when we start to obsess on things, it can be anything, like the fear of going mad or the thought of having a baby, as we are in an agitated state of mind we can obsess on anything, until our thoughts become stuck, like a record stuck in a groove, we just have to accept them as anxious thoughts, you have to learn to just carry on as normal with these thoughts in your mind, and get plenty of sleep, the more tired the mind is the harder it is to think normal.

[lonely leanne]

belive me, I feel like I'm going crazy too sometimes, It happens a lot at night when I'm trying to sleep. It's a catch 22, the more you worry about going crazy the more anxiety you get which leads to feeling crazy.
I find getting out more, having goals and things to do helps me a lot.
Maybe see a councillor??
well you could be at the time in your life where your body wants babies,
do you actually want a baby? or do you want some one to love you, or maybe you fear getting older and running out of time to have babies.
wanting a baby could simply mean you want one but it could also be lots of other things too.
I never want children but maybe in the future I might but right now I don't. But as a women some times you feel like you have to have children just causes well that's what we are made for! haha
or it could even be OCD.

im not sure that its because i want someone to love me as i have a great boyfriend and im sure he loves me, well i hope so. i think i feel left behind, all my friends are getting married and haveing babies and im not . maybe thats what it is. weird thing is to be honest while im obsessing about babies im not as anxious as i was wen i had nothing to focus on. only problem is its not healthy and i know its not!
i dont want 2 tell my friends how i feel either as i dont think they will understand. dotn think i haev anyone to talk to

[sesa1979]

I feel like im going mad as well like you. I have been diagnosed with ocd and depression and anxiety i had all sorts of thoughts horrible ones some that my partners cheating etc thing with me is we have been trying for a baby for 5 months now but since i have took bad my partner and i decided that we should leave it a while till i get a bit better i have seen the doctor he has put me on meds and i have spoken to the counsellor at my surgery who is arranging me to see a CBT therapist. She even recommended not trying for a while because the baby could pick up on things in the womb especially as im not looking after myself properly at the moment but all my friends (well most) now have babys and i accepted that i needed to get help but some days i wake up and i start obssessing that i want a baby now and because we have been trying its was hard to suddenly stop im in turmoil i even had to quit my uni degree as everthing got on top of me. I hate myself at times im sometimes can think rationally and agree that i need some help first but my other biggest worry is that my partner may not then want one which he has assured me he would never do that but i think hes thinks maybe im not fit to have a baby. Everything is a waiting game with this illness the medication the help im even scared to go out the house now as i get upset when i see new moms with their babies. I can feel for you and i know my story is a bit different but its also a bit simular if you get me. Just message me if you need to chat. Take Care Sarah xx

[lonely leanne]

thanks sarah, not that is its nice to know someone feels sorta the same as me its nice to know im not alone in my thinking and obsession. sorry if that souns horrible. well my obsession has only got worse now! i found a website that sells early pregnancy tests in bulk and altho im on the pill my new morning routine consists on me doing one, and i think iv magiced up symptoms of morning sickness becasue the test is always negative like i knew it would, but all day i sit looking at maternity clothes, websites i cant help it i just dont no what to do about it any more. my other half is patient but he doesnt understand and its only a matter of time before he leaves me :weep:
help please x