View Full Version : im so fed up now
I dont know why im posting this i just want a bit of a moan, my hubbie is so fed up of me now and i know i have drove him to despare constantly obsessing over every symptom he has told me im boring and have got no life in me, he wants me to be how i used to be with a bit of get up and go. The thing is i want this to but i feel as though the more he moans at me the more over powered i am. I am so confused at the moment believing i have ms really takes it out of me, this morning he has phoned up my mom telling her how much im getting to him and then i have her calling me up giving me a lecture about how im pushing him away. Im going to be 30 in a couple of weeks and i dont know why but this is also frightening me to death i have sort of made my self have a phobia of turning 30 i dont want to get old and i feel so depressed, i know this might sound silly but i really do feel down about it. Anyway thanks to anybody who has took time to read this and let me rant, xxx
gypsywomen
22-10-09, 14:36
30 your still a young women dont worry about it lov
PanicOver!!
22-10-09, 14:39
Hey 30 is nothing
best time i had was betewwn 30 and 40
You could just do with a bit more understanding from the people around you but dont blame yourself for that
best wishes
i have tried to explain this to him but he just keeps telling me to get some life into me, god i wish it was that easy but when your so terrified of having a disease its hard and he keeps telling me the symptoms are all in my head but they are real, dont get me wrong he has been a brilliant husband and father goes to work etc.... looks after the kids and does anything i ask of him around the house its just everything is so black and white to him ive been told im ok by the doc so i should just get on with my life.
PanicOver!!
22-10-09, 14:44
Easy to say when you have never experienced it
i know how real your symptome feel but they are false feelings.... you are not alone there are loads of great people with great advice on here
just remember you can and will beat this
tashbarnes87
22-10-09, 14:49
awww hun, 30 isnt old!!!!!!!!!!! at all. And what your boyfriend said is almost identical to what my boyfriend said to me the other day' im different now' 'so self absorbed' its really sad but they just dont understand xx
tashbarnes87
22-10-09, 14:50
where abouts are you from hun? x
from just outside birmingham u?
i know im being selfish constantly worrying about myself and i suppose it is quite vain but i seriously cant help it its all i ever think about, if i see somebody with a walking stick or a wheelchair i become obsessed with whats wrong with then and always come to the conclusion its ms, i hate this so much.
tashbarnes87
22-10-09, 14:56
im identical hun. Im from Coventry. x
not to far then im actually from tamworth but nobody ever knows where that is lol
this is going to sound mad but i would actually rather have a phobia of a different illness, ms is so scary its so unpredictable and i dont know what i would do if i have actually got it. I just feel deep down i have something wrong with me. I really dont want to paint a bad picture of him but today i told him if he couldnt hack it to leave and he said it had actually crossed his mind, now i feel totally crap about things and think im ruining my marriage as well as my life, not to mention my kids lives if he moves out as the boys absolutley idolise their dad :-(
tashbarnes87
22-10-09, 15:58
aww hun, i know how you feel & you have to remember that you do not have MS at all not a chance! Andrew has said before he wanted to leave so i have really really tried to get things in perspective and think if i did have MS yes it would be shit really crap but im not going to die in the next decade from it. I think there is somehting majorly wrong with me but on my sane days i think its more likely to be a thiroid issue or something (doc wont test me for it as he says its all anxiety grrr)
You can let the anxiety win & lose your relationship you will a thousand times worse off then, and in 20 years when your still very healthy you will think back and hate the fact you worried so much needlessly. Now i am a hypocrite for saying this lol as i cant follow my own advice but you are ok!
Tamworth ! Hmmm is that where drayton manor is? x
hey rebecca,
me of all people have a cheek saying this to you but i really beleive that the answer here is to try harder to be totally normal around your other half at all times. The reason? well you know deep down that you have health anxiety and not MS so its safe to say that the less time and attention you give your anxiety the smaller it will become.
I try really hard to keep my home time anxiety free. It started off becuase my other half just couldnet understand my anxiety either and at first i was super upset about it and thought that he was selfish and should try to see the way i was feeling. Then i realised that i would hate him to give into my anxiety and give me a free reign to wallow in self fear! So i was forced into 'putting ' on a brave face. But as it turns out its the best thing for HA!!
I hope you see what i mean dear!
Lisa
xxxxx:hugs:
Tash yes its where drayton manor is lol, Lisa i know what you are saying but how do you just switch off what you are feeling? I feel as though my head is going to explode and i keep talking to myself inside my own head do you think i might be losing my mind? i know it sounds silly but seriously when im on my own i cant stop chatting to myself about things not out loud just sort of thoughts in my head lol
Rebecca hun
At my cbt my psychologist explained to me that with HA you end up with a full time running inhead comentary that is continually arguing 'yes I have it' with 'no I dont'.
That is normal for anxiety problems.
but
1) You are NEVER going to find an answer to this question. When you are almost cured of HA it will NOT be becuase you have finally decided either way. The cure is....that you dont care anymore either way and you dont think about it anymore.
That is a straight from a professional Dr in psychology.
The method to get to this point is hard work. You will know it is woprking becuase to begin with your anxiety will increase by a lot and its very important to do relaxation methods and look after yourself during this time.
It means cutting out absolutely ALL REASURANCE METHODS - dr, asking family and friends, internet and any research to do with health.
Cutting out all checking behaviour.
And doing everything normal that you no longer do becuase of anxiety.
You are retraining yourmind to forget to care about MS. You are telling your mind that this ilness and any other is no longer important to your own personal survival and that it is wrong to draw your attention to it because its not your story.
The swinging between the yes and no thing.... you have to go straight down the middle with something real...like i think i will just do the dishes.... or go buy some new nail polish..blah blah....
Rebecca YOUR IN CONTROL NOT HA!!!!
Im going to try super hard now. I will if you will!!
Lisa
xxxxx
I am so much like you,,,my husband says that stuff to me all the time and i do understand where he is coming from....hes like "live life today"....he also says I will be 95 still waiting for that train to hit me....but its so easy for he to say that....I have health aniexty...since i was 7 or 8...its awful...so much wasted time...and i refuse to take meds for it....are u guys taking meds? Its so nice to be able to talk to people who understands....Take Care and keep in touch
mandyclare
23-10-09, 11:56
Ask him to sign on here and read some posts.. he will see that this condition gives real symptoms and may understand a little more.
I understand it must be frustrating for our partners and maybe just be telling him you understand this must be frustrating for him might help the situation?
I am back on propranolol now after 6 years absolutely fine.. if you haven't tried taking them speak to your doctor. They basically cured me before (took them for about 1.5 years)... i have had some HUGE life traumas happen in the meantime to bring them back on and I feel that with the propranolol i will get rid of it again.
Good luck
Mand x
Oh lisa i just read what u have wrote and it so movational....lets all try ....
Thanks Lisa i am really going to try and not keep seeking reassurance, mandyclare i am on propranalol but my doctor has decided to take me off them and start me on citalopram so i have only got about 5 tablets left. I have been out with my mom shopping this afternoon and i am actually having quite a good afternoon until i looked down at my hands on the laptop and i seem to have a tremor oh god i now have another symptom to worry about it is so never ending but im grateful for the few hours of feeling a little calmer. I hope it lasts xx
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