Crying

[shotokansho]

I don't understand it...why do i keep crying? The smallest thing sets me off and i can't help it. I know i suffer with depression coupled with anxiety and OCD. I have been on Escitalopram for 7 weeks now and i have been feeling great but all of a sudden i have taken a huge drop and become very depressed.
I am moody, irritable and tearful. Of course because of this my OCD is kicking in a little and im thinking horrific things which is causing lack of sleep.
Its upsetting me because i was doing so well. I had gone from eating just a banana in a few days to three meals a day, from 30 mins sleep in a few days to 6 hours a night and i was feeling great, so why this sudden drop?
I feel really horrible, today on the way to my GP i cried on the bus! I was so embarrassed and people were looking at me like some weirdo. How can i stop myself from crying all the time? I feel like im going backwards and im going to end up back in hospital.
Someone please reassure me.

Kez xx

[bellabessnjet]

Hi Kez,
Its part of depression, I had a problem crying for 7 years after the birth of my son. The tears would just not come, when the depression came full blown I couldn't stop, I went on citralopram felt better after 4-5 weeks then crashed back down, after another bad episode went back to doctors and they increased my meds to 40mg(20 before) I am now feeling a lot better so maybe a review of your meds is needed, also it could just be a temporary blip, and in a couple of days you may get back to feeling better.
I know that not all meds suit everyone and sometimes it can take a while for them to work or not to, but stick with it and you will get there.
Take care and good luck
Angela:hugs:

[Maj]

It really sounds as though your medication needs to be reassessed, You shouldn't have to feel like this weeks down the line. Go back to your doctor and tell him how you are feeling. Try not to worry about your o.c.d. - you know it's flared up because of how you are just now. It will calm down when you feel better again. With your doctor's help and time you can start feeling well again and I hope that's soon.:hugs:
Take care
Myra x

[cc]

Hi Kez,

What did the GP say about this sudden dip? Maybe you need an increase or a change? (Not that I'm a doctor or anything!)

Carolinex

[S.J.]

Hi Kez, I know exactly what you mean and I wish I knew the answer. I guess it's just our bodies way of releasing the stress and to tell us we're not well. I wake up and the tears kick in straight away. I try to be busy to take my mind of it (no easy task) but it doesn't change anything. If I watch tv i can sometimes switch off and then some advert like nspcc or animal cruelty will come on and thats it!!! What did your doc say/ Maybe you need to up your meds a bit? Do you have anyone supportng you? I know I've not given you any 'cure' but your not alone and I know thats no help but stay strong, keep at it. I really know how tough it is and how distressing is it when the tears keep falling but you have no particular/specific reason for it, i think it would help if you could say 'it's because of this or that'. Not having a reason just adds to the anxiety. Always around for moral support if you want it.

Take care Kez xx

[Bill]

How can i stop myself from crying all the time?

I don't try because even if I did try, I know I'd never be able to stop myself every day.

It's "natural" like coughing or sneezing! Let it out because it's a release mechanism. To hell with what others think! If I saw someone crying, the only thought I'd be thinking is I wish I could comfort them because seeing someone in tears means they're in pain and feeling emotional pain is nothing to be ashamed of!:bighug1:

[Desprate Dan]

How can i stop myself from crying all the time?

I don't try because even if I did try, I know I'd never be able to stop myself every day.

It's "natural" like coughing or sneezing! Let it out because it's a release mechanism. To hell with what others think! If I saw someone crying, the only thought I'd be thinking is I wish I could comfort them because seeing someone in tears means they're in pain and feeling emotional pain is nothing to be ashamed of!:bighug1:

That is a really nice way of putting it Bill, the last couple of times at the doctors i have started crying, i felt really silly i am a "MAN" i should do this and got really embarrased and kept saying im sorry, my GP was fine and passed me some tissues...

DAN

[claire m]

hi kerry. maybe you just need your dose adjusting, you seem to be right on the ball about it now though and you can realise when something is wrong enough to go back to your doctor. thats a real positive.:)
crying is a good outlet its like a pressure valve for me my counsellor encouraged me to let my tears out as whenever i use to feel them coming i would take a big breathe and try to hold it all back now i dont try to stop it so much.

i know its really difficult and you feel upset after how well you have been doing but you have fought it once and you can do it again. :bighug1:
claire xx

[shotokansho]

Thanks everyone. I had a dreadful night. Intrusive thoughts kicked in and i became very upset and couldn't stop crying. I was so scared of doing something to myself i had to call the on call number. It was horrible cos it was my own support worker on call and it made me cry even more because i felt guilty for bothering her in the night. It took her to hours to calm me but i didnt get to sleep until 5.15. This was horrible because i am a single parent and i had to get up at 7am with the boys.
I am so tired and still tearful. My support worker wants me to see the gp to reassesmy meds but im so scared. I am taking 10mg at the moment but i have a medication phobia and it took the docs ages to get me to take that, i am scared of increasing it.
I am so scared of being taken back into hospital. Im thinking that maybe i can deal with everything i am feeling and thinking alone, but in reality i know that i cant.

[PoppyC]

Hi Kez :)
Sorry to hear you had a dreadful night. You must be very tired. It cannot be easy when you care for 2 children on your own as well.
Dont feel bad about calling your support worker on call - that is part of their job.
I take 40mg citalopram a day & started back in March on a much lower dose and gradually increased - Are Citalopram and Escitalopram different tablets???
I had a medication phobia to an extent and had a breakdown where I refused medication. I decided to take medication because it really did get to the point where I would have taken anything to feel a bit better - phobia or not - and I am sure the tablets have helped save my life.
Tablets were designed for a reason and if they can help even a teeny bit then its better than non stop suffering, however they are not a total miracle cure though and I find they work best with counselling and self help.
It has taken months for me to stablise on Citalopram and I still am not fully better but getting there, however looking back I can see the big help that they have been. In the early days I would have a good few days and then crash for a few days with lots of crying. I really did not think at times that the tablets were working.
Gps say the tablets work around 6 weeks but I have read lots of conflicting reports saying it can be 8 weeks plus for the tablets to start to begin to work. Could you go and visit your gp and explain how you are feeling, however in my own experience, getting used to Citalopram for a while, is often a lot of up and down days but I got through it by telling myself if I was having a bad day that I would soon be having a good day.
I don't really have much experience of OCD but I can imagine how distressing it must be for you.
Hugs to you because I know how tough it can be but I think for me anyway that all the bad days, weeks and tears were all worth it to be where I am now, and I hope the same for you.:hugs:

[claire m]

kerry because you are already on your medication and they are in your system the increase should be ok and you shouldnt really get side effects like you had when you first started them. i hope your weekend is ok and just remember we are all here for you. xx

[shotokansho]

Thanks everyone. I dont know what to do. I have no boys this weekend they are both away and im scared. I really dont know why i am being like this and because of this reason i am starting to feel like a waster and i am just an idiot wasting peoples time.
My mum has a very weak heart and if she has to look after my boys again it could finish her, i am so worried for her, yet i feel like a dissapointment for her. i always feel like im letting her down yet im worried about her health at the same time.
I am feeling at the moment i need to go back to hospital...i still havent slept! But i cant have my mum have the boys again but then they will go into care...god i dont know what to do...so sorry all your advice has been great xx

[claire m]

hi kerry. hope your night was not too bad, i understand your worries about your mum, my mum lives about 100 miles away and she knows i have problems with depression and anxiety but she doesnt know the true extent i feel like im protecting her from the truth as i really dont want her to worry.
I think you need to have a chat with someone about your boys and what would happen if you needed to go to hospital and have some kind of plan if ever its needed. Maybe this is something your support worker could help you with.
Also sometimes being a day patient is an option that may help you then you can get the support you need but also being able to go home too. If your boys are away this weekend just take sometime for you and try to get some rest.
love claire xx.

[claire m]

just wondering how things are kerryxx