Anxiety destroying my life

[phil06]

I feel the anxiety is destroying my life at present. So much social anxiety + negative thoughts + OCD I just can't think normal anymore. Working my socks off to make changes in work/relationship and nothings working.

I feel there's little hope left in the year for me now. :unsure:

[PanicOver!!]

Hi Phill

Hang on in there buddy it may take time but you can get through this
maybe working at it so hard is making you worse.. how about just accepting things the way they are ajd just go with it... got to beasier than constantly trying to change

good luck

[phil06]

Hi Phill

Hang on in there buddy it may take time but you can get through this
maybe working at it so hard is making you worse.. how about just accepting things the way they are ajd just go with it... got to beasier than constantly trying to change

good luck

Thanks I know i could but I've been doing that for two years and I'm utterly miserable and feel hopeless. So unhappy with the way my life is going.

[Maj]

Phil, there's always hope. You just don't know what's round the corner. I know it sounds corny but you just don't. Yes, I can understand you feel hopeless at the moment when nothing seems to be going right for you. I feel for anyone looking for a job at the moment. Does the doctor know how bad you are feeling? Meds aren't a miracle cure but the right one can take the edge off things until you steer into calmer waters. I really hope you can get a job soon. EVen if it's not one you really want at least you have something to think about each day and are in the company of other people who will have their problems as well. Take care. Sorry I can't help you.
Myra:hugs:

[MrBOOMBASTIC]

Please don't despair, I was in the exact same situation as you and was like that for a few years, but fear not it is curable. I never took any meds although I was an absolute mess but I was scared of taking them. I finally got to see a doctor (I saw alot i was a REAL mess) who specialised in these issues and I statred partaking in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). Its extremely simple and just lets you see the ridiculousness in the things you think (youd be suprised how many people suffer exactly what your having a large % of population at some point in their lives) and puts you back to exactly how you where before anxiety some how gradually took over your daily thoughts (and in some cases makes people better than they ever where). I am 100% completely fine and feeling great to be my normal self normal now and have been for years and will continue to be, if I ever notice me having an anxious thought i realise what it is and laugh at it cause i am aware now how ridiculous some of them are.
Please go get some CBT, in the meantime recognise you negative/anxious thoughts and shrugg them off because you know what your like and you know your prone to having these kind of thoughts that are irrational/magnified etc etc. Try writing down the the thought thats making/made you anxious give a % of how anxious you are/where then go through how you may be getting carried away with something / magnifying something / being plain irrational and write that thinking error down then give yourself a new score of how anxious you feel. Trust me you'll see that some of your thoughts are totally irrational and overexaggerated there really funny. Be patient with the process and hopefully later down the line the odd occasional thought you may have will last a split second and you'll shrug it off and laugh and continue feeling positive.

[MrBOOMBASTIC]

Phil, there's always hope. You just don't know what's round the corner. I know it sounds corny but you just don't. Yes, I can understand you feel hopeless at the moment when nothing seems to be going right for you. I feel for anyone looking for a job at the moment. Does the doctor know how bad you are feeling? Meds aren't a miracle cure but the right one can take the edge off things until you steer into calmer waters. I really hope you can get a job soon. EVen if it's not one you really want at least you have something to think about each day and are in the company of other people who will have their problems as well. Take care. Sorry I can't help you.
Myra:hugs:

Also good advice.

[phil06]

Please don't despair, I was in the exact same situation as you and was like that for a few years, but fear not it is curable. I never took any meds although I was an absolute mess but I was scared of taking them. I finally got to see a doctor (I saw alot i was a REAL mess) who specialised in these issues and I statred partaking in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). Its extremely simple and just lets you see the ridiculousness in the things you think (youd be suprised how many people suffer exactly what your having a large % of population at some point in their lives) and puts you back to exactly how you where before anxiety some how gradually took over your daily thoughts (and in some cases makes people better than they ever where). I am 100% completely fine and feeling great to be my normal self normal now and have been for years and will continue to be, if I ever notice me having an anxious thought i realise what it is and laugh at it cause i am aware now how ridiculous some of them are.
Please go get some CBT, in the meantime recognise you negative/anxious thoughts and shrugg them off because you know what your like and you know your prone to having these kind of thoughts that are irrational/magnified etc etc. Try writing down the the thought thats making/made you anxious give a % of how anxious you are/where then go through how you may be getting carried away with something / magnifying something / being plain irrational and write that thinking error down then give yourself a new score of how anxious you feel. Trust me you'll see that some of your thoughts are totally irrational and overexaggerated there really funny. Be patient with the process and hopefully later down the line the odd occasional thought you may have will last a split second and you'll shrug it off and laugh and continue feeling positive.

Thanks that's helpful. I've been suffering for two or three years with the negative thoughts. It's like a cloud over my head I keep saying I'm going to deal with it. I am convinced once I get a new job that might reduce some of the anxiety. But I feel I need to be bold and leave that job since it's casing me stress and just need a break. Interviews have gone grim for me. I wake up and think what's "anxiety" will it be today? It can just have such a grip over my life, moods. :scared15:

[MrBOOMBASTIC]

Glad to help, ive been meaning to post here for a while as a couple of years ago I was trawling this site in a desperate attempt to try find some explanation or relief for what I was going through. Next time you wake up in the morning and you think what's "anxiety" will it be today? think to yourself "I'M AT IT AGIAN!!". I used to do the EXACT same thing when i woke up in morning. Its an obsessive thought and once you can break the cycle you should slowly get better, you just need to shrug that thought off recognise it as just one of your OCD obssesive thoughts and it means nothing. Let it come into your mind (dont try to stop it) and just let it pass thorugh, dont pay it any notice you know what it is it's just and obsessive negative thought and it means nothing.

[MrBOOMBASTIC]

Once you get to grips with this you should notice alot more of these thoughts and you'll realise that its just and obsessive (OCD perhaps) thought pattern thats creating this cloud and once you realise the unimportance and nonsense of these thoughts you will slowly get better, but be patient with it.

[dante]

morning is always the worst time for people with anxiety, thats when all the thoughts rush in,but the biggest problem is looking for the anxiety, we tend to do it all the time, analyse diffrent symptoms, and the thing we shouldnt do is look for a cure, or for things that we think will ease the anxiety.because we are telling ourselves if we do this it will ease the anxiety,and then if it doesnt we look for something else.
phill the thing we should do is just accept we have it, try and work normal but with the anxiety, not look for reasons why we have it but just try work with it, try reading the book by claire weekes, it helped me, i have been fine for weeks feeling a bit like my old self, but had a relapse today but have to realise thats all it is and move on and keep just accepting it. hope that helps

[Meewah]

Phil

I feel a different persepective is required. I feel you need to work with your anxiety and not against it. Take it on like a needy friend. It is part of you and you cannot escape it. If you keep running away from it the symptoms get stronger. A little bit like a bully at school. Accept that these anxious thoughts are here to stay and take them with you on your life journey.

I feel you are one step ahead of me. I think I am ill. No really. When I can accept it is anxiety and have that diagnosed then I can accept and start to live my life again.

You have to say to yourself that the negative thoughts are just that, negative thoughts, they cannot harm you.

Stop trying to make your way through the anxiety placards. Pick them up and take them with you. Learn to accept them they are part of you they cannot harm and you must move on and start living and the symptoms will begin to fade and come back and then fade again. Accept you are NEVER going to get rid of this anxiety it is here to stay. Its in your genes.

As soon as you remove the dinial you will begin to live again and you can focus on the things that matter and stop putting your life on hold while you fight your demons.

Trust me it works.

If someone told you that you had a debilitating illness. At first you would be in a state but as soon as you had realised it was real and was here to stay you would start living again, differently I admit but probably with more meaning.


What you have just read is you. Start to live again.

See you in your future....

Mee

[phil06]

Phil

I feel a different persepective is required. I feel you need to work with your anxiety and not against it. Take it on like a needy friend. It is part of you and you cannot escape it. If you keep running away from it the symptoms get stronger. A little bit like a bully at school. Accept that these anxious thoughts are here to stay and take them with you on your life journey.

I feel you are one step ahead of me. I think I am ill. No really. When I can accept it is anxiety and have that diagnosed then I can accept and start to live my life again.

You have to say to yourself that the negative thoughts are just that, negative thoughts, they cannot harm you.

Stop trying to make your way through the anxiety placards. Pick them up and take them with you. Learn to accept them they are part of you they cannot harm and you must move on and start living and the symptoms will begin to fade and come back and then fade again. Accept you are NEVER going to get rid of this anxiety it is here to stay. Its in your genes.

As soon as you remove the dinial you will begin to live again and you can focus on the things that matter and stop putting your life on hold while you fight your demons.

Trust me it works.

If someone told you that you had a debilitating illness. At first you would be in a state but as soon as you had realised it was real and was here to stay you would start living again, differently I admit but probably with more meaning.


What you have just read is you. Start to live again.

See you in your future....

Mee

I suppose that's another way to see it. I have hesitated alot on choices due to anxiety over it. Like learning to drive I always thought the worst case so it took me two clean years to take lessons even now I doubt If i can be bothered driving. I can't decide what to do. I feel like letting something go as my luck might improve.

(A bit off the topic but my problem is work..ten months trying for other jobs 5 interviews in the last week and got none of them. It's got me down plus my love life is the same non existent for like two and a half years)

Basically I need something positive. I'm thinking of doing an evening class at college in January. As I'm so frustrated with work I think I'm calling it quits and no going back. Been there a year and a half almost and I find apart from cash there's little good me there as I hate it, and the staff and can't bare the stress. I know doing nothing is not the answer as I could feel worse but I know 10+ people who were made redundant and found jobs almost instant.

So I am kind of stuck what to do. I'm sure change would help and I can't bear another six months in that job getting rejected by jobs. :doh: I feel I am going crazy... :blush:

[phil06]

I can't cope with this work problem. I've had about 5 interviews or more in the last week and got none of them. Can the job centre do anything for me? Do they just help unemployed?

What am I going to do? I dread going into work every day, finding another job is impossible I'm on my 11month and not working won't help.

I'm so stressed been such a crap year. Just want to see it out but I can't stop because at present my life's not manageable. I need to change jobs..then focus on my love life...

But back to the jobs thing where can I seek proper help? :wacko:

[KK77]

Hi Phil
I think you're putting a great deal of stress on yourself. Take a step back and you will see things more rationally. Doing a job you don't like isn't pleasant, I know. I work in recruitment and see people that hate their jobs all the time. They do it for money, not love.
5 interviews is not a lot. I see people that have applied to 100s jobs and not get anywhere so you're not alone. I don't know what type of job you do or indeed whether you know what kind of job you'd like to do. Job Centres generally find work for the unemployed. There are a lot of agencies online and registering with one of them is a good start.
However, I think that if your anxiety is bad then that is the first place to start. If you don't deal with your anxiety then it will affect any job you do. If you carry on with all that stress then you'll just be going backwards. As I said, take a step back and try to look at things again.
Good luck!

[phil06]

Hi Phil
I think you're putting a great deal of stress on yourself. Take a step back and you will see things more rationally. Doing a job you don't like isn't pleasant, I know. I work in recruitment and see people that hate their jobs all the time. They do it for money, not love.
5 interviews is not a lot. I see people that have applied to 100s jobs and not get anywhere so you're not alone. I don't know what type of job you do or indeed whether you know what kind of job you'd like to do. Job Centres generally find work for the unemployed. There are a lot of agencies online and registering with one of them is a good start.
However, I think that if your anxiety is bad then that is the first place to start. If you don't deal with your anxiety then it will affect any job you do. If you carry on with all that stress then you'll just be going backwards. As I said, take a step back and try to look at things again.
Good luck!

I had anxiety before I started the job. The anxiety doubled since I got this particular job and trebled by not finding anther job in the time I've been there. So I'm seriously considering not going back tomorrow or phoning in sick. To never go back would relax me I have walked out on less as bad jobs so duno why I'm bothering over this one.

So by leaving my anxiety would drop to half again as I would just be anxious over finding a new job. I duno what's best. Normally a shift in there works me up I dwell and get anxious when I go home. The odd shift is ok. I went part time about 8 months ago thinking it would help but no joy since I've had no luck with jobs.

So what do I do? I'm scared I duno why..I have been bold making these choices in the past. :shrug:

[KK77]

Go with what you feel is best for your mental wellbeing. If a job is making you ill then I think that answers the question. But only you can judge that for yourself. But you need to accept the consequences. Being scared is OK - it takes guts to admit that - but don't let it stop you from moving forward. TC :)