34 year old female from london in need of help n advice

[wendywench1975]

hi my name is wendy im 34 and from london ive been suffering from anxiety for over 10 years now and im pretty much at the end of my tether ,,,, i constantly worry about my health and cant stop the feeling that im dying ,,,, its been like this for so long now that ive forgotten what its like to think possitive ,,, ive seen councillors and been to my gp so many times ive lost count ,,,, one week it will be cancer the next its ms or something else ,,,, my mind is so horrible to me and im so sick of pretending that im fine when im not ,,,, ive always been scared to take meds as i feel that if i take meds it will kill me (stupid i know but its so hard to stop the feelings ) i just dont know where to turn now ,,, its affecting my life and my children are picking up on my negative thoughts and its also cousing problems in my marrage couse im so clingie and never want to be left on my own ,,,,, my life is such a mess at the mo ,,,, i just need some advice n guidance ,,, i did ask my gp for cbt but was refused and i feel im not taken serious and im always talked out of the sergury and fobbed off ,,,, sorry to go on but i just need to get it all off my chest xxxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi wendywench1975

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[PanicOver!!]

Hey dont aploligise we have all been there

You should really try CBT if you can it helps to rewire your thoughts to stop being so negative.... i have been where you are now and i know how bad it is but im am almost back to "normal" whatever that is.. it is hard for partners to understand how real these feelings are im sure this site will help you vent off to some people that really understand.

You can and will come through this so dont give up fighting

best wishes x

[kerrym]

Hi wendy just wanted to let you knw that u are not alone. i feel the same way to and
also have two sons who find it extremly upsetting to see me panic. I have recently been to my GP who gave me meds but like yourself im so scared to take them, I also feel like they could damage my health. I know it all in my mind but carnt help feeling so negative. I dont want to feel like this forever so i know i have to take my meds and get through this. we all have the right to feel good.
i hope you feel betta soon for yourself and your children x:)

[Maj]

Hi Wendy,

You seem to be battling and struggling on yourself when you could do with a bit of help and support :hugs: I know you say that you don't want to take meds but they seriously might help to make you feel so much better. I didn't take them this time but took them previously and will never forget how much better they made me feel and gave me "me" back. \I too was terrified of the side affects but they were the right meds for me. If you get the right meds you don't have to feel spaced out or different, they should just eventually make you feel more calmer again and able to think logically that you are not losing the plot or dying!! Think about it. Also, you'll get a lot of support and advice from people on here and it can make you instantly feel a lot better for a while knowing people feel the way you do. Take care.
Myra x :flowers:

[Charles23]

Hi Wendy, As the others have said, you are not alone. I was convinced for years I was sick with all sorts of things. All I will say is find a GP you can trust and will take you seriously. I would also say give meds a go if you can. They could help you stabilise and fight back. I bet youve taken antibiotics for a cold or an aspirin for a headache and this isnt so different. They have worked for me and so many others and now I have hope. Good luck, keep posting and reaching out.

[Lothario]

Hi Wendy
I understand your anxiety. I'm going to break this into two questions if I may. I think I know what answer I'll get back if you want to. 1st Question. Is your main worry about your health. 2nd question. Is it the fear of dying? Please stop take a minute to think about your concearns and think what it is that's mainly worrying you. Then I'll come back to you.

[wendywench1975]

hi Lothario
that was a very good question and i can give you a very honest ,,,, its defentley a fear of dying ,,, that was a question that came out in my counselling and it worked out that when i was a yound girl i lost an uncle who had a brain anerisum and died instantly and no one could have done anything to help him and i always remember my mum saying that it didnt matter if he had been in a busy shopping centre no one could have saved him ,,,,, and from there my fear of dying started and over the years its just got worse ,,,,,, i need to get my gp to take me serious and to start getting to the bottom of this instead of fighting it which ive been doing for the past 10 years ,,,,,,,, hope this makes sense xxxxx
wendy

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Wendy,

Welcome to NMP. You will find many here will understand how you have been feeling and you will get support.

Take care,

Laura

[railride]

i know how you feel and i simpathise with you firstly most gp,s just want you in and out as quickly as posible luckly for me i have found one that takes his time and realy cares and understands my condition and tries new meds to balance my condition and calls me every two weeks to check im ok there is meds and people willing to listen and help you manage your condition best of luck micky