Harming thoughts!

[chucklehound]

I am trying to desperately to overcome my agoraphobia by going out 3-4 times day. Every morning on my way to the shop I see this old man on an electric scooter. As I turn the corner I see him coming doen the street towards me I get the horrible thought that I am going to attack him.
This morning I was running late so went out with my cuppa and as I turned the corner I saw the man coming down the street and I was terrified because I had thoughts about scoulding him and then beating him up!
The harming thoughts started to settle down a while ago and now they seem to have come back worse than ever. I suffered from monophobia (fear of being in alone) because I was scared of losing control and hurting my son. I have overcome the monophobia now but fear that it may return because of the harming thoughts again.

Has anyone got any advice on how to deal with this please???


Take Care

Chucklehound

xxxx

[trac67]

Hi Chuck,

Your doing so well at the moment, don't let a 'blip' get you down,

Remember these are just 'thoughts' and we can control them, they are just in our heads.

Try to think of something else when these things come into you head, something that makes you laugh, or a nice memory, and you will be fine.

Stay focused and positive hun.

Take care
Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[Piglet]

This is one I had when I first started with anxiety and I know its really common.

I think Claire Weekes tells us not to go overboard trying to avoid thinking these things but to realise they are just thoughts let them pass through and on their way.

When your anxiety levels drop more these thoughts will fade. My gp told me (same as with suicide thoughts too) that if you were going do this you wouldn't worry about it first.

Ok toot?!!!

Love Pig:)

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[chucklehound]

Hi Tracey and Piglet and thank you so much for your words of support.

I know that it's true, 'if you were going to act of these thoughts then you

wouldn't worry about then, you'd just do them'. I just fear losing control

so much. I can't seem to understand why I am thinking this because

I just couldn't do it - it's just not me.

As soon as I got close enough to the man, the thoughts had gone and

I just said 'good morning' to him. I used to fear having a panic attack

while I was walking past the man too, maybe this has something to do

with the thoughts I am getting now!

I am a 'toot' eh Piglet? pmsl

Take Care

Chucklehound

xxxx

[doddy]

hi chuckle,

i use to get these thoughts all the time, and also thoughts of killing my wife, dog , myslef and in fact bad thoughts about everyhting........lol.

to be honest what i di was when i had the thought i might grab that knife and stab my dog, i just say well go on then, and of course id never do it.

I did, and im not saying this is right for everyone, but i use to sit down each night and spen 10 mins thinking about doing the things i had worried about i might do and really really vividly imagine them, first few times i shook with fear then after about a week i was laughing out loud at the absurbidity of them..........now if im in a shop and the though i could kill her and rob this place comes into my head instead of panicking i practically laugh out loud...odd i know but its because everyone has odd thoughts but its how we respond to them that counts.

just as an after thought, ever considered that the man driving down the street doesnt look at you and think, god what if i mounted the curb and ran her over.......do u reckon he ever will?? nope and nor will you, as if you worry about doing it you will never do it.

andy

[mum2four]

I was having thought's of attacting people or hurting then or screaming at them is thing did go plan or felt threaten by word or action by them I felt like if one wrong thing nhappen while in try my hardest to be NORMAL that I would compleatly loose the plot and balistic on the wrong person.

For example standing at the bus stop A smoker would light up right next to and there a several other smokers standing spread out at the bus stop I would have remove my self from being near them or I really strongly felt like I was going scream something or everything at them and then thing wouldn get how of hand and then I'd arrested and looked up and then loose my mind because I'm stuck in a tiny cell. Some time's I could just sit on the ground and and I find a stick and scrap it the ground or focus on the ant's with the stick just to make sure i didn't interact with the worng person that might set me off. other times if I'd already felt threaten in some way and I new i was overreacting I would have to tap to scontrol my feeling. if got more intence and felt like pacing or rocking I would walk away and not catch the bus at all. I was afraid that if i put my self in a confined space with that many people and thay were already bugging me (know it was silly little thing that I found anoying) that I might compleaty loose the plot and have to start rocking in front of people and rocking in front of people had never gone down well in past and I was afraid that i rocked in fromt of then i would be concidered insame and locked up.

I have been this way since i was kid but the life has became more and more restrictuve because i feel the feeling in more setting's as time went by. Untill recently I thought nothing could make me normal that I'd just have to live with these feelings for eva and I never have a real life like everyone els cause I'm obviously not built for presure ect. I finaly let my self accept that I have anxiety and I finaly to,dmy dr that noy only do I have anxity but self halm thought's and he put me on a med call Luvox (fluvoxamine meteate) 50g and to my surprise it stopped the thought the self harm one's and it reduces my reaction to a situation that would cause anxiety. After finaly telling my dr i have always been this wayy and I think I might have OCD and why I think that he double my dose and so far i have not over reacted to a situation i have put my self in yet. I'm feeling good about thing's. I feeling les and less and like I have save my mental energy to deal with situation that would normal drain it fast. If that make sence to you.

[chucklehound]

Hi Andy, That sounds like a good idea, maybe a little scary at first

though!

But I am willing to try anything so that this doesn't stop me from going

out again.


Hi Mum and thank you for you reply. I appreciate your support

thank you all xxxx

Take Care

Chucklehound

xxxx

[doddy]

chucklehound,

its a good way of losing the fear of all the things that frighten you, once you then have an odd though a week later youve already dealt with it so you dont then go over and over and over and over it again..

good luck

andy