bjs
26-10-09, 18:21
Hello folks
I am a teacher on a medical leave. I am really angry and frustrated with the "system" (doctors, disability,etc.).
I have been on a leave since last April. There is a history of depression and anxiety in my family and I have had my struggles with this over the past ten years.
I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. AT my worst, I was thinking very dark thoughts, crying constantly, confused, anxious, etc..
This was from about March until July.
I ran into difficulty in my job. I was supposed to have special ed. students who needed life and work skills. I ended up with many students who were not supposed to be in my class and were not interested in learning or participating. Many had criminal backgrounds and were violent at times. I became very frustrated as not much was getting accomplished and my class was becoming an unsafe place to be. I got no support from the school administration Instead of implementing some basic rules for these high school students...most of which were eighteen years and older...the students were allowed to do as they pleased. My abilities as a teacher were scrutinized. They ended up closing my classroom at a meeting and making some rude comments about my teaching at this meeting. They did not even have the decency to tell me in private first.
I am a dedicated, hard working teacher. Most of my twenty years have been in the area of special education. I know what I am doing and I am good at it. I put that extra effort in for these kids as many do not have caring parents or families. I will go to great lengths to help a kid so when I tell admin. that I have done everything and that the student needs to leave the school system until they are ready to cooperate and participate..............ug............there does need to be soem basic rules in a classroom!
My class was a very negative place to be and I started becoming emotional so I had to pull myself out. Now the nightmare gets worse.....
I went on disability through my teachers organization. I have been completely harassed by the case manager. I have been sent to a million appointments, been made to complete daily journals, been lectured about how it is his job to get people back to work because of teachers paying money for the plan, etc. etc.. I have been pressured from the start to get back to work. My counsellor was called to one of these meeting with him and she lied about what she had told me about a return date for work...and then the two of them bullied me......this was oen of the worst experiences of my life.
I now suffer panick attacks when I have to talk to the case manager. He does not seem to understand that he causes me stress.
I have gone to my doctor after meeting wtih this man and I have been very distraught...then the doctor sees that I am a basket case and sends me to yet another shrink...rather than having the guts to write a letter telling the diablity prgoram to back off.
Sso..................I was sent to a shrink a few months ago who put me on Prozac and then he went on a leave and left me with no one to talk to. When I finally got to see him...he told me I was obese and that I should not eat fast food...then told the case manager I should go back to work. (I am not obese...I weigh 180 and am fit).
I went off of Prozac as I did not feel well and had no one to talk to about it.
I have been sent to another shrink who saw me for about 20 min. and has given me another prescription for Citalopram. She told me that I will probably feel nausea, tired, have head aches, etc..
What is with this drug pushing attitude?! I have never been one to take medication adn do not want to start now. With the help from family and a few friends, I am on the road to recovery. I jsut need soem time to work through this and heal. I feel like I have earned this. I do want to get back to my career...I have loved teaching up until about a year and a half ago. I am certainly not trying to be a slacker and get out of work. This situation has not been pleasant at all.
I have developed my own plan for recovery which is:
-Connecting with a support group
-Fitness including weight training
-Improving my eating habits...reducing packaged foods, cooking more, etc.
-Reading as much as I can about healthy living with a focus on after 40 life
-Gradually socializing
-Looking into natural remedies for menopausal issues
-Tests to determine hormone levels,etc.
-Looking in to some natural rememdies
-Working on balancing my life...it is ok to have some down time...which is something I have never done well
I wish I could find other teachers who have gone through this. I have asked the case manager this but he says no......
So this is my problem. I might be taken off of disabiliy if I don't pop these pills but I am feeling so much better now that I do not want to regress. I don't want to be feeling sick and tired. Why should I have to take medication .......so I can sit quietly and behave for this case manager? Drug me up and send mer back to work....oh yes that is a good solution...
No one really cares except your family. Thank God for my mom as she has started attending thses meetings with this guy and comign to doctor apppointments with me.
If I really needed medication I would take it but I am getting better without it!
I am a teacher on a medical leave. I am really angry and frustrated with the "system" (doctors, disability,etc.).
I have been on a leave since last April. There is a history of depression and anxiety in my family and I have had my struggles with this over the past ten years.
I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. AT my worst, I was thinking very dark thoughts, crying constantly, confused, anxious, etc..
This was from about March until July.
I ran into difficulty in my job. I was supposed to have special ed. students who needed life and work skills. I ended up with many students who were not supposed to be in my class and were not interested in learning or participating. Many had criminal backgrounds and were violent at times. I became very frustrated as not much was getting accomplished and my class was becoming an unsafe place to be. I got no support from the school administration Instead of implementing some basic rules for these high school students...most of which were eighteen years and older...the students were allowed to do as they pleased. My abilities as a teacher were scrutinized. They ended up closing my classroom at a meeting and making some rude comments about my teaching at this meeting. They did not even have the decency to tell me in private first.
I am a dedicated, hard working teacher. Most of my twenty years have been in the area of special education. I know what I am doing and I am good at it. I put that extra effort in for these kids as many do not have caring parents or families. I will go to great lengths to help a kid so when I tell admin. that I have done everything and that the student needs to leave the school system until they are ready to cooperate and participate..............ug............there does need to be soem basic rules in a classroom!
My class was a very negative place to be and I started becoming emotional so I had to pull myself out. Now the nightmare gets worse.....
I went on disability through my teachers organization. I have been completely harassed by the case manager. I have been sent to a million appointments, been made to complete daily journals, been lectured about how it is his job to get people back to work because of teachers paying money for the plan, etc. etc.. I have been pressured from the start to get back to work. My counsellor was called to one of these meeting with him and she lied about what she had told me about a return date for work...and then the two of them bullied me......this was oen of the worst experiences of my life.
I now suffer panick attacks when I have to talk to the case manager. He does not seem to understand that he causes me stress.
I have gone to my doctor after meeting wtih this man and I have been very distraught...then the doctor sees that I am a basket case and sends me to yet another shrink...rather than having the guts to write a letter telling the diablity prgoram to back off.
Sso..................I was sent to a shrink a few months ago who put me on Prozac and then he went on a leave and left me with no one to talk to. When I finally got to see him...he told me I was obese and that I should not eat fast food...then told the case manager I should go back to work. (I am not obese...I weigh 180 and am fit).
I went off of Prozac as I did not feel well and had no one to talk to about it.
I have been sent to another shrink who saw me for about 20 min. and has given me another prescription for Citalopram. She told me that I will probably feel nausea, tired, have head aches, etc..
What is with this drug pushing attitude?! I have never been one to take medication adn do not want to start now. With the help from family and a few friends, I am on the road to recovery. I jsut need soem time to work through this and heal. I feel like I have earned this. I do want to get back to my career...I have loved teaching up until about a year and a half ago. I am certainly not trying to be a slacker and get out of work. This situation has not been pleasant at all.
I have developed my own plan for recovery which is:
-Connecting with a support group
-Fitness including weight training
-Improving my eating habits...reducing packaged foods, cooking more, etc.
-Reading as much as I can about healthy living with a focus on after 40 life
-Gradually socializing
-Looking into natural remedies for menopausal issues
-Tests to determine hormone levels,etc.
-Looking in to some natural rememdies
-Working on balancing my life...it is ok to have some down time...which is something I have never done well
I wish I could find other teachers who have gone through this. I have asked the case manager this but he says no......
So this is my problem. I might be taken off of disabiliy if I don't pop these pills but I am feeling so much better now that I do not want to regress. I don't want to be feeling sick and tired. Why should I have to take medication .......so I can sit quietly and behave for this case manager? Drug me up and send mer back to work....oh yes that is a good solution...
No one really cares except your family. Thank God for my mom as she has started attending thses meetings with this guy and comign to doctor apppointments with me.
If I really needed medication I would take it but I am getting better without it!